When Enough Is Enough.

Greg has been gone almost 6 weeks now. And the only support I've really had, is here. On this website, from you wonderful beautiful AMAZINGLY empathetic girls. Greg left behind his family, me, 3 roomates, and a whole boat load of friends. However, me and greg were only together a few months before he left, and I never really got to know his family. Our friends have tried to be understanding, my friends have tried, but they don't see the significance of a 5 minute phone call or the blessed feeling of a single dang letter. The only people who I've tried to connect with about Gregs situation is his roomates. They're 3 really cool guys and I got along with them great before Gregory left. With the exception of Zack. Zack has a odd way of showing his... support. When I first started going to Gregs house, there would be a lot of nights were we'd be throwing parties there. And frequently in the begining, It was pretty apparent Zack was trying to flirt with me. I casually brushed it off, and just kept the focus on me and Greg. When I spent the night with Greg his last night in town and took him to the airport, Zack said he felt like Greg kinda picked me over his friend. So I've tried hard to be nice to Zack, not wanting him to feel threatened by me you know? I wanna get along with those guys because they're the closest to Greg, and Greg told me just the other day how glad he was that I was getting along w/ the guys so well and still hanging with them. I was glad too. Until lately, Zack has been texting me non stop, sometimes at one or two in the morning telling me to come over. He always puts wink faces and little hearts in his messages and told the bartender the other night he was going to "take me home". Now, heres the problem. I can handle myself, I'm not worried about something happening with Zack....I would NEVER even be remotely tempted. I know how I feel about Greg, and no one, not even his roomate I'm trying so hard to get along with, could change that. But the problem is: Do I tell Greg? I don't want him to worry, and I DO NOT want to start a fight that may be unnecessary between them. I worry if I say something, Zack will bad mouth me to Greg in order to save his own ***. I also don't want to make a big deal out of something while Gregs still at basic and has other faarrr more important things to worry about. I guess....I guess I'm just lost with what to do. What Zacks doing makes me feel uncomfortable, and if any other guy acted the way he did around me, I'd make it a point not to even aknowledge him and probably avoid him. I wouldn't stand for it. But I don't want to ruin things with my relationship with his friends.......because I knwo that will strain me and Gregs relationship. God, I'm just confused. Does ANYONE have an opinion that might help me? :( I'm up for any suggestions.

Andyusaf07 Andyusaf07
18-21, F
9 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Its crazy that its all coming to a close huh? I got to sleep on this last night, and everything you said (daniru) really sunk in. along with all the other responses I got. I really don't wanna get this turned around on me and I really don't want to get turned into the bad guy. I decided to sit down and talk with Joe & Will alone and just discuss everything on how im feeling and the concerns I'm having. I'm closest with Joe and I know if anything happens with this getting turned on me, he'll help me out. But I want it to be made clear how I feel, and I still have decided to wait until I can really sit down and talk to Greg to really bring it up. I mentioned in a letter this morning: "Zach has been pulling some weird stunts lately, you know how he is, sometimes I'm not sure whats going through his head". I kinda brought it up so that when I get there I have a base to kinda go off of....think that will work?? I just dont wanna stress him out! I also decided I'm going to sit down with Zach after talking to the guys, and I'm just going to let him know how even if hes not being serious, that he needs to stop and that it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe if i confront him face to face and just let him know, maybe that will help. ??

TRS 323 FLT 209, god graduation will NOT come soon enough!!!!! And daniru, I get where you're coming from. However, its not that I want to be around Zach, its that its not all that optional. I love hanging w/ his other two roomates, Joe & Will. Were kinda each others support system. I'm a strong person, and Zach isn't going to get what he wants from me. Its just frustrating. I'm not going to completely seclude myself off from them all together, but it has been hard to not be there as often since Zach started pulling his crap. I wanna tell Greg, thats why I asked for advice. But everyone seem to make a good point in waiting to discuss it till graduation. I wrote greg a letter that I didn't mail, I'm just going to read it to him when we discuss the situation. Its just an overview of whats been going on and how i see it and how zach has been making me feel. until then, i'm guna have to suck it up. Zach might be dead before Greg comes home though.

honestly if this zack kid was his one of his close friends, then he wouldnt be trying to get with his girl. the guy to neeeds to be out of your boyfriends life because he is stabbing him in the back, and as a girlfriend myself i always want whats best for my boyfriend, even if i have to give my opinion about people hes close with, because everyone has two sides and not everyone see those sides. maybe not right now would be the best time to bring it up, but im sure once your boyfriend finds out, he wouldnt want zack in his life in the first place, so i wouldnt go out of your way to be nice to a guy like that. id ignore him and just not put myself around him. thats just my opinion tho, i hope you get things worked out!

Funnnnnny little twist to this story. Did I ever mention Zack has a girlfriend? Yeah well he does. He always had other girls at the house, even going as far as sleeping with a friend of mine while his girl was visiting her parents. They broke up right before Greg left for bmt. I just happened to bump into her while grabbing a coffee before a meeting. I told her I missed seeing her at the house and hoped she was doing well and invited her to come to a red and black party w/ some of the girls friday. She then told me she was guna hang w/ Zack. Because apparently, they never broke up. Yeahhhhhh. WHAT A B**TARD! Hes trying to cheat on his GIRLFRIEND with his supposed to be BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND, while his bestfriend is at effin bmt? This is a new level of low. I'm not going to worry Greg about this, not now, because im not going to let it effect us. I plan on still hanging with the boys, and I'm going to be nice to Zack to a certain degree. But you know what? I'm callin him out on this one. Game on.

If your boyfriend is still in basic, definitely do not even say anything about it. Tell him once he's in tech school, he'll feel a lot more secure after you've gone to see him and he knows you love him. Whether you want to hang out with Zack or not, that is up to you. But as long as you know you would never do anything with him and if hanging around Zack is the only way to hang out with the other guys, I don't see a problem. Just keep your distance and don't tell your boyfriend during BMT. :) Stay strong girl!

I say do not do anything with Zack guy, he is tempting you intentionally so he can tell on you and has his friend back. That became obvious to me when that you man "chose you over the friends" I say keep your distance and tell Greg what happen. He deserves to know that his "BFF" is making pass at his girl while he's away.<br />
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Keep us updated. And good luck!

I agree with CVil, stay away from Zach. I wouldn't hang around Zach or respond to him at all. Don't tell Greg about it while he's at bmt, wait until after he is done there and maybe show him those texts.<br />
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2 & 1/2 weeks until we see our guys graduate!!! I just can't wait!!! I'm giddy already, haha.

OH MY GOD SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR!!! But my story happened after Doug was already stationed. One of his roommates is seriously into me and it is soooooooo annoying. He used to text me all the time and flirt non-stop with me and sometimes they would be on different shifts while I was visiting Doug and it made me really uncomfortable because every time that I walked out into the kitchen he would come out of his room and talk to me. He even went as far as one time that I was down there when Doug and I were going through a rough patch he tried placing all of these lies in my head about Doug smoking behind my back and hanging out with girls because he wanted me. It was so low. I hate him now, so much. He has caused so many problems. Definitely tell Greg. It may be kind of hard and nerve racking but once I told Doug I felt so much better about what was going on. Now it is just kind of a joke between us. He is still Doug's roommate though but he knocked up a 17 year old hahahaha so now he will be gone soon :) Wait till he graduates though, don't write it in a letter, that could go over really badly. Good luck!!! Try to kind of cut the ties slowly with Zack and make sure it is 1 million % clear that you don't care about him in that way.

I agree with C^ stay away from Zack as much as possible. If you absolutely have to be around him, make sure your with the other 2 guys also. I think this Zack guy is completely immature and needs to back off. I hope your boyfriend drops this guy like he's hot...