Just Me Being Stupid.

so my boyfriend leaves march 30th for boot camp.. and i have been trying so hard to be okay & to just enjoy our time together.. but this weekend it was like i hit a brick wall. everyone started talking about their plans for 3 months from now.. and i started thinking way too much.. which led to me crying WAYYY TOO MUCH! & the sad thing is, he is still here.. and i really dont know how i am going to deal when he isnt.. i just dont even know what to do right now. &  i know this is soooo stupid because most of you ladies are dealing with alot worse than this.. but i seriously think im depressed. & i think the worst part is, theres never really a finish line.. like a moment when it will get better.. cause he is always going to be leaving.. i dunno i just needed to talk to someone.. sorry for being such a downer.. :(

heatherlynn88 heatherlynn88
22-25, F
8 Responses Feb 22, 2010

you're joining the hardest job in the military. but you're also becoming one of the strongest women in the world. and after graduation you will be a part of a love that any civillian just can't understand. it's going to be hard, but it is so worth it. the pride and joy that fills your heart knowing what he's doing is like nothing else. it'll be just fine. :] message me if u need me.. (sorry that i'm so behind everybody else, but it's still march! lol)

It'll be hurt, there isnt a magical secret to making you feel better Im sorry dear, but feel free to come here for any and everything. To rant cry be joyous and everything else. Be sure to write everyday if possible when he leaves, it helped me. <br />
<br />
Welcome!!

thanks ladies.. and believe me, i def dont think march is far away.. i found out in dec that he was leaving.. and time has been going so stinking fast.. <br />
but thank you both for the encouragement. i thought i would never ever be able to do this whole military relationship thing. but matt is so worth it to me. i just hope i can get through this. and that it does make us stronger.

Hey girl my bf is in tech school right now and I'm a senior as well and it does become very hard to deal with them leaving but if you ever wanna<br />
tlk or know anything I'm here for you :)

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I (he was my boyfriend at the time) lived together the last 4 months before he left for BMT. And I was devastated. At least one night a week I would cry in his arms and be scared about him leaving, feeling alone, missing him. THEN the week before he left, I cried EVERY NIGHT and sobbed myself to sleep in his arms. I am not sure how I ever went to bed the night he was gone. I missed my last phone call from him the night he wasn't there in the bed with me too. At first on day one, I thought I'd never EVER make it. But as time went by, I realized it was really flying by. Not as fast as I'd hoped, but it was going. I even dropped out of college (from other issues) and couldn't find a job, so I had nothing but time on my hands. All I ever did was write him letters and talk about him and miss him. It sounds miserable, but in a lot of ways it makes the relationship stronger. Hell, he proposed to me for Christmas after he got out of basic! You definitely learn to appreciate the things you used to take for granted. Just enjoy what time you have left with him... you said your boyfriend leaves March 30th, that's about a month from now. I remember having a month left thinking I had all the time in the world and it was gone in an instant. But really, try to spend as much quality time with him as possible, doing the things he loves, and then when he leaves write him every single day! You'll be okay :)

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I (he was my boyfriend at the time) lived together the last 4 months before he left for BMT. And I was devastated. At least one night a week I would cry in his arms and be scared about him leaving, feeling alone, missing him. THEN the week before he left, I cried EVERY NIGHT and sobbed myself to sleep in his arms. I am not sure how I ever went to bed the night he was gone. I missed my last phone call from him the night he wasn't there in the bed with me too. At first on day one, I thought I'd never EVER make it. But as time went by, I realized it was really flying by. Not as fast as I'd hoped, but it was going. I even dropped out of college (from other issues) and couldn't find a job, so I had nothing but time on my hands. All I ever did was write him letters and talk about him and miss him. It sounds miserable, but in a lot of ways it makes the relationship stronger. Hell, he proposed to me for Christmas after he got out of basic! You definitely learn to appreciate the things you used to take for granted. Just enjoy what time you have left with him... you said your boyfriend leaves March 30th, that's about a month from now. I remember having a month left thinking I had all the time in the world and it was gone in an instant. But really, try to spend as much quality time with him as possible, doing the things he loves, and then when he leaves write him every single day! You'll be okay :)

thanks =] i have both actually.. im going for my bachelors degree in nursing.. and its my senior year.. and i work two jobs.. so i dont think the whole staying busy thing will be a problem.. its just how much i am going to miss him.. and the fact that i cannot get it out of my head that it doesnt just end with boot camp.. i feel like i am going to spend my life missing him [i love him so much and i def want to marry him.. ] how long have you been an air force wife? & someone please tell me that it gets better down the road.. cause i feel like if i can atleast look forward to something..

Well, my husband left 4 days after Christmas! The whole time putting up our decor and our tree and buying presents (which I had to be careful about buying for him since he couldn't use ANY OF IT!) really sucked. It was like I would find myself enjoying our family time together and then it would hit me that we wouldn't have him here for much longer. But seriously girl, the time really does fly by. Do you have school or a job? When you keep yourself busy, you'll be on your way to Texas to see him graduate before you know it. There will be some crappy times like sitting around, especially at night because that's the worst, and just missing them so much it makes you sick! But you'll get through it and you'll have a story to tell like not a lot of other girlfriends. That you survived a long separation and you and your bf love each other more than ever! It's an amazing feeling. You'll do ok. Just remember to always look at him like it's the last time. You don't want to take any time you have for granted.