Read Read Read Read: Especially You New Ladies :)

Well I was just thinking about how there are so many new girls, and that consequently made made me think about how hard it was when David left and how much of a mess I was, and that consequently made me think about Amber (AJlove) and how supportive she was and how she always left the best comments. So being the creeper that I am haha, I was just going through her stories and found this one and I knew I had to repost it for the new girls, since shes off in Lackland kicking some Air Force butt! She perfectly describes what we all feel, and I think its really amazing!


"Im sorta tired of having people ask me if being in a military relationship is hard. truth is no. not really. i have been thinking a lot about this question and have come to the conclusion that the word "hard" in terms of a relationship means difficult to be around the other or even difficult to want to be in the relationship. i have found that through bmt, tech school, tearful goodbyes, an increased emotional climate, and the incessant need to make your man smile is rather easy. i find nothing "hard" about being in a deep loving and compassionate relationship. hard is the wrong H word. hurt is more accurate. when people think of hurt they think of pain in bad terms. like breaking up or physically creating said pain. this is what i mean by hurt in terms of a military relationship:


your heart hurts every morning you wake up, every night you go to bed and even hurts in your dreams when you realize he isnt home lying next to at night. i have had several dreams where i text my man in them because even asleep i know he isnt home with his arms around me.

your brain hurts trying to think of ways to write him letters everyday of training, what to send him that will make him smile while he is deployed or having a hard week at work and what to wear when he does get to come home=)

time in general hurts. it hurts to look at the clock and think only 67 days 11hours 14 minutes and 25seconds until you get to see him running up to you in the airport. time feels longer and hurts deeper because its the one thing we really have no control over.

your throat hurts everytime you choke out a hard goodbye, or hold back tears saying hello in person for the first time in months. your eyes hurt from holding back those tears struggling to keep them locked up until he leaves and cant see you shed them. it hurts him to watch you cry and you know this because you've had to cry what seems like every time he gets a chance to visit and your eyes were pushed to their limit. it hurts you knowing it hurts him to watch you cry which makes you want to cry even more.

it hurts to feel alone when your with all of your friends and their boyfriends and hurts when you realize you'd rather curl up with a book and get a text from your man whenever he gets a chance.

it hurts knowing your going to have to say goodbye to family and friends once you marry your best friend and go with him everywhere he is told to go. hurts knowing you'll have to make friends and say goodbye to them as soon as you get relocated.

it hurts knowing he is lonely, bored, and missing everyone everyday and there is really nothing you can do but hope those extra hours at work pay off well so you can afford to visit him even with him helping you buy things.

it hurts knowing that sometimes there arent any airports around base for about 30 miles. and hurts knowing that you need military/ government approval to get to those airports so you can get on base.

it hurts seeing other couples holding hands, laughing and kissing and just being cute when you would kill for a phone call even if it were for 30 seconds.

it hurts to know friends dont get anything your talking about because you decided to learn all about the branch he is serving in so you can keep up with what he is saying. and hurts when all your friends consider you "too involved" in your long distance military relationship and get mad at you when you tell them you will probably end up moving to where he is at so you can be closer. it hurts when your friends accuse you of ditching them for "some guy". it hurts when they tell you "you dont really love him... i mean geeze he has been away for how long? cant base a relationship off of distance". it hurts to know you would love to punch your friend in the face.

and through all that hurt you survive by knowing how much he loves you too. knowing one day you will get a chance to wake up to him every morning and give him a kiss. be the cute old couple at walmart walking down the aisle and holding hands. when your so deeply in love with this one person no amount of time, distance, or even hurt will keep you from this future together. its knowing that through everything you will stand by eachother and provide for eachother. your not just boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, you are an invincible team. you know eachother better than anyone else, have memories only both of you know and will ever know, and have this incredible bond between eachother that only true love contains and can contain. and, im sorry rascal flats, what hurts the most is being so close and having everything you can ever want and knowing you will have to wait a long long time to get it. failures you can get past with time, achievments will only be awarded in time on a timeline neither of you can predict and filled to the brim with worry of more time away and even the worst of all our fears. death. but as military couples we stand tall, proud of our men (women for those of you who are military bfs) and faithful every minute of every day. so i guess you could call us emotional masochists. it hurts but we love it=) "




peaceloveandkatie peaceloveandkatie
18-21, F
13 Responses Feb 23, 2010

This helped so much. My boyfriend of 5 years left two days ago for BMT. I'm on pins and needles waiting for his first phone call (I'm the designated address distributor). We pretty much lived together and spent all our time together, now nothing. My head is a mess and it's so hard trying to finishing up my final semester of college. I'm so proud of him.<br />
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My friends don't get it either. "Military wives are crazy." ugh

This was AMAZING. I saved a copy so that i could go re-read it whenever i need to. It was so perfect. :) <br />
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thanks for sharing that with us newbies :)))

Yay Amber!!! :) That is awesome that you re-posted this for the newer people!


:,( wow that was so perfectlly put.. geez it has my crying, i miss my boyfriend, but this gives me hope cause he's gonna come back to me or i'll go to him either way distance wont be an obsticle nope! lol :) Thx for posting this up oh and yeah im new to this experience my bf left about a month ago and its hard :(

OMG this is my first time reading this and I can't stop crying!!!! I love this story so much and thanks for reposting it =D

that's a perfect post for someone new like me, thank you!

This is amazing! Thanks so much for reposting it :) These are the happy tears that I like to have fall from my eyes.

Ahh I miss Amber :( She helped me through A LOT while Nick was in basic. Im actually writing her a letter right now! Haha

Awww, this was pretty much my favorite thing anyone ever posted on here, and I saved it on my computer when she first posted it. =) Thanks for making sure newer people get to read it, too!

aww i love this.. i am soo glad you reposted this.. =D thanks so much

I have prided myself on holding it together fairly well since Greg left. Day in and day out I try my best to be as emotionally stable as possible. I tell myself, no break downs, no bawling, no big pitty fits. Avoid tears at all costs, because chances are once they come, they're not going to stop. This was beautiful. Perfect to a T. And you know what? I've been staring at this screen for 25 minutes bawling my eyes out like im 6 years old and someone took my mother. I don't think this could have been put together any better. Amber, you're amazing. kick some butt girl.

WOW this is the first time I read this, it got me bawling but every word she said is so very true.