Total Non Topic Venting

I just need to get this off my chest. It has nothing to do with the af or even Ryan.

My parents divorced with I was 5 and my brother was 3. My mom raised us along with the help of my amazing grandparents. It didn't take long for my father to stop paying child support. They had to garnish his wages (I later learned). When it came time for my brother to start school, my mom told my father that he could shop for my brother for school and she would shop for me. There would be a 200 limit for each of us. Well, it was clear that Justin got more than 200 worth of stuff. He was coming home with designer things and I was getting bargain basement deals that my mom could afford on her tupperware income. That was just the beginning.

A few years down the road, I think I was 7, I went with my dad and brother to get a pair of shoes for my brother for school, and I saw them. The most beautiful pair of red cowgirl boots. They were gorgeous and they fit perfect. I wanted them so badly and I begged my dad for them and he said that he would get them for me for christmas. Well, of course Christmas came and went, and guess what? No boots. When I was 15, my dad promised me that he would get me a car for my birthday. Well, I turned 16, and then I turned 17, and later 21 and now I'm almost 29 and guess what? No car.  Is anyone surprised?

For my brothers entire life, he has been favored by my dads entire family and I have been ostracized. The outcast, black sheep whatever you want to call it. They see me as the devil. They see me as my mom. Which I consider a compliment, but they see her as a horrid person who missed her mommy and had to run back home. Which couldnt be further from the truth. She didn't want to raise her children in a home where their father was drunk or high all the time. She didn't want them coming into the living room while their father was dropping acid or snorting coke.

So for Christmas, my dad told me that instead of giving me money, he was going to buy me the KitchenAid mixer that I have wanted for SIX YEARS. The Martha Stewart (my rockstar lol) edition mixer. I love the color. It reminds me of Tiffany's and spring. Two of my favorite things. I have never wanted anything so badly in my life. Well it's almost March and I still haven't gotten that mixer.

I got a facebook message from my dad this morning asking where the nearest Sam's Club to me is and I sent him the address. Well, if you know Sam's they don't have all the colours that KitchenAid makes. Red, black, white and chrome. So not only did my dad wait 3 months to buy it (when there were plenty of sales on the mixers. I have been watching prices), he is being a cheap bastard (at least there is consistancy with his behaviour) and he is not getting me what I asked for. It's like the red boots all over again.  Will this ever end? Where I, as the first born, finally get treated as such. Is it selfish for me to feel this way? Is it horrible for me to feel like I should finally be treated with a little respect and for me to want to feel loved by my fathers side of the family instead of feeling like I'm just someone they know?

Ahh. It feels good to have that off my chest. 

erdriscoll erdriscoll
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 24, 2010

Shortly after I posted the story, my stepsister called me. She is my father's wife's youngest daughter. I have never had any issues with either of my stepsisters, and Sam has given me a beautiful niece and two amazingly adorable nephews, but we aren't very close. I was so good to have someone to commiserate with about the family. And what's funny is that I'm not the only one who feels that way. Its both me and my stepsisters. Pretty sad when the kids see what the parent's can't. Especially when the kids are mid 20's to almost 30...<br />
I sure wish I had you girls to ***** to when I was younger lol! I don't think I have ever had anyone to vent to about this. I mean there was my mom, but after a while, I just stopped talking to her about it because it was like beating a dead horse. There was nothing she could do about it and she always just told me to ignore it and to take myself out of the situation. Well I did, but it still affected me. <br />
Thank you girls for sharing. It does feel better to vent and it feels better to know that someone else is dealing with this and it's not just me.

i can kind of relate. My father was never there for me. My parents were never married they were together for 5 years perfectly but when my mother had me my father changed and cheated on my mother. my mother was going to give me up for adoption but said she and i were going to stick it out no matter what. my mother had to literally beg for the little she did get from him. i never got school supplies presents necessities anything all that was supplied to me by my mom. he has has 3 children with two other women but i consider my self to be an only child. I use to cry about my father neglecting me. until i was 7 years old. After a while a wouldn't and didnt care if he does anything for me. because i know i have my mother who would give with thing she owned for my well being. and for me thats more than enough. Just know that your mothers is playing the role of mother and father to the best of her abilities and you are not alone. <br />
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Feel free to rant more if you need to. i did so a few weeks ago. it helps doesnt it? lol

Okay. First off. You are not the only one here. I can kinda relate. My parents were married for fifteen yrs and divorced when I was ten. Im my Moms only child but my Dad has two others from a previos marriage. My brother Derek and my Sister Wendy. Now. My sister always gave my Mom the hardest way to go all her life as a child and mildly when she got older. Now that she has kids of her own she looks at my Mom as her Mom. Which fine whatever bc I know my Mom loves me more and that I mean more. Anyways. It all started when I was old enough to realize that I was getting the **** end of the stick here with my Dad bc my Sister was the favorite. My Dad is an alcoholic by the way and so is my sister they share that unhealthy addiction together. Not to the point where he gets physically abusive but its still bad. Anyways. First thing that ade me think this way was my Grandma my Dads Mom. When she died I was all alone at the funeral and at the burial. While across the way my Dad is holding my sister bc she was so damn upset. Well. Wtf about me ?? Shes my Grandma too. So I was next to a tree this entire time while she was getting love and support. Nice right?? Oh I not done. So then the time comes where I met someone at the time and we oved into together. My Dad was always over our house always wanting to be with me and my bf at the time. She had the decency to call my house asking if Dad was there and what he was doing. I said yes hes here with me and hes having fun not that its any of your business. My Dad had surgery yrs ago. She drove him there and was in charge of everything I had no say in anything. In all this mind you that certain family members of my Dads side disliked me too bc I was my Moms daughter and for the record Im proud to be her daugher and they can stick it. Well. Yrs go by and my Dad got laid off and he lost our house and he had no where to go at all. Guess who came along and saved the day. Thats right. Wendy. Nice right. So in that time my Dad and I werent really close bc she controlled his life and he let her. Time went on and my Dad got a job and eventually got his own place. She was pissed. Bc he was no longer under her finger and he asked me to move in with him and I did. SHe was so mad and stopped talking to my Dad for almost a yr. I then decided to stand up to all this and I wrote her a not so nice letter. I let her know that the way she treats Dad and is wrong on all levels and the way she treats me needs to stop too bc Ive done nothing to her. All in all I got y point across and said what I had to say and she didnt like it. She then calls me and proceeds to tell me that I did do things wrong. She said you were born. I was like wow. Really?? Real mature and nice. And said that I need to mind my own business and I said you should talk. I also said that hes my Dad just as much as hes your Dad and its not about sides and hatrid. So please stop. She said once again you being born was a mistake and I hate you. Okay. Fine. Whatever. A few more yrs past and then Wendy comes to Dad about her getting a divorce bc she cheated on her husband with the neighbor across the street. Her high school sweetheart and father of her kids mind you. I was like oh man. This should be good and interesting. She then comes over and wants to make a mends with me after all these yrs. Im like okay but if you blow this Im done with you for good. So we were cool for about a whole few months if that. She goes out of town with her kids and wants me to housesit and watch the dog. My parents both said dont do it bc they had a bad funny feeling about it all. I said no its fine. WRONG!!!!!! She comes home from her trip and Im at work and I get a call with her yelling at me cursing at me and doing everything you can think of. She starts accusing of me of trashing her house stealing hers my niece and my nephews clothes. They are twelve and thirteen. Now. Im twenty five. What in the hell would I do with hers and the kids belongings?? And why would I steal from her?? I know. Bc I didnt it never happened and never would. Her house was a pig sty when I arrived and it disgusted me bc Im a clean person. I had to clean it. So I actually did her a favor. In all this she starts stalking me at my job and blowing up the house phone. My Dad final said thats it. He told her off and yelled at her like something Ive never seen before. Now. Here it goes. My Dad took my side. After all these yrs he finally realized how she really was and stood up for me with her and she got so mad. I was like FINALLY. Lol. So now all three of us dont talk and she pretty much told my Dad that she doesnt have a Dad and if something were to happen to him that she dont care and dont want know. She said alot of hurtful things and it really bothered my Dad for awhile but hes grown to realize thats she not normal and has major issues. Wow. Feels good to let all this out after all these yrs. So see I was bewildered as a id bc she was a terrible person and now my Dad knows right and apologizes to e everyday about the past. I forgive my Dad bc he means the world to me but as far as y Sister goes. Not a chance in hell. So I kinda know where youre coming from. Im sry you went through all that and even more sry you still are. Im here if you need to ever talk. Please know that.