The Sheppard Curse?

I don't understand.

We were legally married February 9th, in the midst of planning a real wedding, and it's like all of a sudden I feel like he's tired of me. I believe my last story I was bragging about how amazing our communication is. And still, some of you who read this story might be jealous that I get as much as I do. But it's just strange the way things have happened lately.

A week ago, I got a sweet sweet email from Brent, just saying how much he loved me. Here, I'll post it so you get a better idea:


I woke up this morning with an overwhelming feeling of love. It's amazing feeling but at the same time troubling. Thereason I say that is because it's really difficult because I can't find a good way to convey my thoughts to you and it sort of bottles up in a "needs to be released" sort of way. I meant most of my day thinking of ways to make you realize just how much I care about you and have so far drawn a blank. I have come only foundations but foundations will lead to something great. But for now I can only tell you that you honestly have my heart and I undoubtedly, unmistakably, unconditionally love you. With that in mind I have no doubt that we will have an amazing life together. I want to share every experience with yu for the rest of our lives and further.

I love you girl. I don't shut my eyes once without seeing you and think one thought without loving you.

-Your husband."

He also sent me his dog tags when he sent me the marriage license and another sweet letter. I got it on Monday this week but it was all sent like the 17th.  So he was still being sweet then. But it's like, every night he calls at like 10pm my time, 9pm his. He usually falls asleep at 10. And i've told all of you that we stay on the phone all night, but it's getting to the point where we basically talk about something for 20 minutes and he's dead asleep. And I don't hear from him except 2 or 3 texts in the morning and then not again until 10pm. It's just so ridiculous to me because he used to call me around like 7 or 8, but now it's way later. And even on the weekends during the day he doesn't call me anymore like he used to. I've actually said to him "just because you're my husband now doesn't mean I need you any less or that you can be any less sweet." And every time I say that, he just kind of blows it off, or laughs like it doesn't apply to him.

Maybe I am overreacting, like he likes to say sometimes, but is it too much to ask to talk to me for longer than 20 minutes if he has the time? I don't know. Maybe missing him is just getting to me more and more because it's getting to the point where it's been the longest I've had to be away from him, and I still have a month and a half to go. :( I usually try to be the strongest person, and give advice to people who go through the same thing I do, but I get to this breaking point every once in a while where I don't know what to do...

I just texted him, " You better be extra sweet when you call because there's no excuse for calling me so late. If you miss me so much, you should show it, not ignore me all night." I know that sounds bitter but damn it I feel bitter.



airmanfairclothsbaby airmanfairclothsbaby
18-21, F
17 Responses Feb 25, 2010

Ah he's on F-16s :)

:) what plane? Brent is on C-130s

Nick is a crew chief tooooooooo :D

yeah mallory i know it's gonna be hard, and after i posted this story brent called me and was all sweet lol that's how it always seems to happen... it's not like brent and i really fight or anything it's just missing each other takes such a toll on us and we're so ready to be together, whether it's seeing him 5 hours a day or 5 minutes, as long as i sleep in the same bed with him at night i'll be able to breathe easier. i know being a crew chief he is going to be gone a LOT and then he may also be on mids so that will suck, but we'll just have to see. he wants me to find a job that pertains to his schedule, so we'll see what happens when i make it to arkansas! :)

I didnt read all the replies but matt was like that in tech he was on mids so i worked during the day he slept we could only talk in the morning right after his class for as long as he would stay awake i hated it there was noworse feeling then your future husband falling asleep on you day after day. He would be busy hanging out all the time esp on weekends so i told him to fly me out there and even though we couldnt afford it we scraped by and managed to fly me out there because i was about to call the wedding off i felt so hurt day after day, perfect weekend then went right back to the way it was better but not much.<br />
We are married now and it is worse even though we are in the same house i never see him even when we are on the same schedule. When he isnt working he is sleeping and if not those he is studying for test after test or breifings and classes all the time they dont end at your first base being married to the military us wives that give everything up for our men will always be second they may not admit it (mine rightfully admits i come second to his job) and its not his fault he cant say oh im busy this weekend i cant come in for weekend duty or i cant study i barley see my wife as it is if i knew it would be like this im not sure what i would have done not saying i wouldnt have married him but it never ends and i talk to wives of higher ranks and they say it never ends still weekends and 12s and classes and tests to move up rank i want him out after his 6 but he wants to do 20 plus we will see what happens

nomomisery- you have a very f***** up view of the world.. and thats fine. your entitled to your thoughts because guess what? this is a free country because our MILITARY fights for us to have a free country. but if your going to have your stupid messed up thoughts, please go share them with someone who gives a f*** cause none of us do.. we will stand behind our airman 110%. & if you have such a problem with our country, and the things these men & women fight for- THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR COUNTRY!

I knew he was just busy. Remember how much I was freaking out because of the lack of communication? I thought he hated me, i thought he was going to DUMP me because I threatened his a$$ too. twice. lol. But in the end its simply because they're tired, stressed and or busy. Dont worry girl, he still loves you and you only have a few weeks left until youre with him. ^)^ It'll be better soon....

From the things that you say, you do disrespect military servicemen. And you are one big contradiction, If your grandfather, father, brother, uncles, and stepson serve. You should take everything you say on here and try saying it to your grandmother, your mother, your aunts, and if your stepson has a girlfriend or wife, to her too. I'm sure they would love to hear that "misery loves company" and there are just "not enough guys in the world" that we have to fall in love with the ones who are far away all the time. Don't say things in an anonymous group that you wouldn't say to your family, dude. You're being flagged.

i hate trolls...<br />
<br />
courtney i think most guys just kinda get more and more stressed and bogged down the longer they are at sheppard. it's a really crappy base to be at and it effects all our guys in negative ways. maybe ask him if he doesn't have time to call you just to text you after class and let you know what's up. and ask him to let you know what he does. william and i don't talk for very long periods of time most of the time butttt he does let me know pretty much everything he does all day. "babe i'm on lunch im going to go do this" or "i just got outta PT and im going to shower and eat dinner" or "im studying and then going to watch a movie with murphy" or "im going to go bowling with trahan and tomson" like just tell him you at least wanna know what he's doing and want him to try and talk to you as much as possible because you are missing him so much and really need him. everyone can get just kinda out of it sometimes. and i'm glad he called you and you got to see that he is still the amazing sweet guy you fell in love with and decided to marry. i know it's hard for you because it was hard for me too (i mean william's been at sheppard for 6 months and just graduated today ughhhh and it's felt like FOREVER..that stupid base lol) but we really need to try and remember that as stressed and upset as we get...our guys have it even worse. and they really do try =) just remember this B.S. is temporary and soon you'll have your REAL wedding and live together =)

nomomisery-shut the ******* hell up you nasty piece of ****. how DARE you talk like that! My fiance joined the air force so that WE could have a life without worry! so shove it up your *** and go play in traffic!<br />
<br />
Courtney-me and you seem to be in the exact same predicament with the exception that I'm not married yet. It seems like James doesn't love me anymore and he never makes the time to call me, but he has all the time in the world to drive his new friends around Mississippi. I'm just sitting back and praying it's just a phase and that it won't be like that once we're married...I hope you and your husband get better...just as I hope my future one and I do.

nomomisery- You need to be thankful for the guys that are risking theirs lives to save ours. And not all guys join the military because of a job. My guy who is at BMT right now didn't have to go there. He and his family have plenty of money and he has a college degree. He joined because he wanted to.

nomomisery- You need to be thankful for the guys that are risking theirs lives to save ours. And not all guys join the military because of a job. My guy who is at BMT right now didn't have to go there. He and his family have plenty of money and he has a college degree. He joined because he wanted to.

Thanks girls... yeah... I know I was sort of just overthinking things, because as soon as I posted this story he called me and was sweet and was busy all night with CQ briefings... :/ I felt stupid lol. Sometimes he doesn't call because he's with friends and other times it's because he's doing something that he really can't talk during. It's just the miscommunication where either I forget what he said he'll be doing or he forgets to tell me what he'll be doing. And this morning he called me. I love it when he calls me in the morning lol. Oh man... It's just stress getting to us both. <br />
<br />
Nomomisery - shut the **** up. What do you mean "not enough guys to go around?" MOST of us knew our guys before they even decided to enlist, or at least before they went to basic. And I love how you sit here and have so much to say about what the military does while you sit on your a** probably doing nothing with your life.. Yeah, it's a f*cked up world, like, why doesn't the president fight the war instead of declaring it? But you can't take that out on the military. It's not their fault. And everything the military does and everything military girlfriends/fiances/spouses go through is a hell of a lot more noble than you sitting here telling us it's not, with nothing to back that up. And it's not the LACK of job opportunities that forces our men out of the civilian world and into the military. Yeah, it is hard to find work right now, but long before the job market was ****, lots of our men felt called to do this, whether it be from a childhood dream, a family legacy, or what have you. Nomomisery, you need to take a good look at your life and the things that you criticize, and maybe you will have "nomomisery." Get your facts straight.

I think you're overreacting and shouldn't worry. Scott and I only get to talk for about 20 - 30 minutes when im driving home from work, which is 10 my time, 9 his. And then he falls asleep on the phone too. LOL I get so annoyed and we've fought a lot but then I stop and realize they get up at 4 am and go until 5 pm approximately. That's a long *** day and it doesn't surprise me that they are having a hard time staying awake on the phone. Sometimes we'll talk during the day, but most often then not he is do busy with PT or at the gym and he doesn't answer. I know he feels bad and I'm sure ur guy does too but they have so much to do. Scott only has 3 weeks left so it's crunch time and he's been having a lot of exams so maybe your guys in the same boat with a month and a half left. Sooo just wait it out :)

Courtney, Brent loves you. I mean, hell, the guy married you! Im sure he's just feeling an unwanted amount of stress because he's close to graduating. I wouldnt take it personal at all. He wouldnt send you an email like that if he didnt mean every word he said. I kind of know how you feel, there are days when I just NEED Nick to be the sweetest thing in the world to me. And some days I get that, but others I dont. He always tells me that I should know that he loves me and that he doesnt need to swoon over me all of the time. Blah blah blah. Guys dont seem to understand that we girls just need a little over the top lovin' every once in a while :) I wouldnt stress about it at all. You're his wife, and he loves you. You're still the last person he thinks about before he goes to bed at night :)<br />
<br />
On another note, I am super excited to see your wedding pictures! Does that make me sound creepy? Lol Seeing the pictures of the beach house and reading about all of your sounds like its going to be SO cute and fun!

Anyways, back on topic... that e-mail was so sweet! Don't take it personally if he's not talking to you as much - I'm sure he's just exhausted and it has nothing to do with you. It's understandable to be upset though - of course you are! You miss him! But keep in mind he's missing you even more, plus all the added stress he's dealing with. Hang in there, once he has more energy again, I'm sure he'll be sweeter than ever!

^ F*** off :)