I Hate Tech.

I'm frustrated. I keep typing up an entry and not posting it because I know I'm being silly and my impatientness is getting to me. I know that tons of girls have been here before. I know there's nothing wrong and I just have to hold it together a little bit longer. It was the same reason the other day when I freaked out. I never get to talk to Jeremy. The first few days after we first spoke there was at least some sort of contact made. A text, a couple minutes on facebook talking, a quick phone call... And I know I've been in Germany, (which may I say was amazing), and he had his first week of classes. I guess its more that I understand and WILL wait, of course, but really need to say how I feel to someone who understands, I guess. Gosh it sounds so selfish of me. I just hate that I don't know what he's doing at all, what his schedule is like, how tired he really is. And my mind keeps jumping to awful conclusions but I'm trying my best to push those thoughts out.

 

I also had my meltdown the other day because I wanted to talk to him before I left for Germany. Even if it was quick. I asked my cousin, who is pretty good at understanding and giving advice, if I had any rights, not being his girlfriend, to ask to talk to him. To request some of his time. And she said I didn't, not till I saw him in person and he started calling me regularly. And I guess it set me off. I felt like I was back to the very very begining, before he left, not knowing what I meant to him. Basic was easier. I don't even have his address to write anymore. I don't even get to talk AT him in a letter. I hate it. I just needed to share it with you guys. Writing it only in my journal doesn't help.

 

I did get him the coolest souvenir from Berlin, though. Haha

 

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2802/4392419289_893c0805e8.jpg

emilyroze emilyroze
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 27, 2010

It'll get better hon I bet he's just really busy now. The first few weeks are a bit hectic. After that everything will hopefully slow down so you can communicate again. <br />
<br />
Keep us updated Allie!!

i concur with devon. it's just hard and stressful and they need time to get used to it and fall into somewhat of a routine. but writing him letters sounds like a good idea =) the thing is..if they don't check their mailboxes often then it will be taken away from them where they can't get any mail or packages. it's really annoying. if i remember correctly it happened to amber when jacob was in tech school. might wanna make sure he knows about that but he should! lol and try to hang in there. i think you definitely have the right ask to talk to him. i mean you obviously care for him and have been there for him and he's shown he cares for you too. so you have more of a right than anyone. you've been amazing and so so patient. try to hang in there just a little longer! lol it feels like that's all i ever get done saying to myself =p but it's what us crazy girls have to do!

Hm, nah it's not really sendable. Its sort of fragile and I think sending stuff from here would cost a fortune. Even my letters were about 3 dollars each. It's awful how expensive London is. Thanks though! I'll try his mom for his address.

Thanks Devon! Yeah, I had a feeling this was something that typically happens, but I can't remember certain posts about it so I figured writing a post finally could help out. I definitely know he's busy. I always make sure he knows that I don't expect him or need him to talk to me, just that if he could I would really like it. Then I get selfish and want to be like, talk to me now!! Haha Waiting is so annoying. But if I must.. lol <br />
<br />
I may try to get his address and write still. I think it would be nice. He said he saved a few of my letters from BMT so he'd read them when he could at Tech so maybe having a letter would be easier for him. I send him facebook messages, well I did, but he never responded so I stopped. We'll see. Only time will tell, I guess.

You will definitely fall into a routine and everything will be a lot better. Just hold out a few more days (maybe weeks) and you will begin to get accustomed to the times that you do get to talk to him. I don't recall posting any stories about tech school, because I didn't really hate it until now. But that's because my airman is almost done and that base is giving him so much **** to do! But I hope you get to talk a lot more often here soon. And you can always call the base he's located at and ask for his address :) It would be cool to send his gift to him (if it's sendable). Best of luck girl!

The first week of tech school was really really hard for me. I dont think you got to read that story though...I deleted it pretty quick because it actually ended up on Facebook. And not by me. Ha. Whatever though.<br />
I felt like he didnt care anymore and that there were no positive changes and he had no time for me. I freaked out....I tend to do this a lot....ha. But the thing is, tech school is stressful like bmt, but its a whole different kind of stress. And to top it all off, they're once again in a different place with new people and new rules. Its probably pretty overwhelming. As soon as Nick fell into a routine he relaxed A LOT. And everything got a lot better. I know its tough for you to be patient after being SO patient with Jeremy for two months....but that might be the case...and Im sure he'll come around.<br />
<br />
As for it not being your place to want to talk to him, I completely disagree. You were there for him all through basic. You wrote him, thought about him. Of course you want to be recognized for it with a little attention. You could try emailing him and telling him everything you're feeling and see how he reacts to that? I find that when I really have something I need to say, its a lot easier for me to write it all out instead of saying it. Just hang in there girl! Im sending happy thoughts!