Brand Spankin' New Af Girlfriend

My boyfriend of 3 years leaves tomorrow for Basic Training, though our sappy-tear-filled goodbye was yeterday. I go to college in Georgia (I'm 19, almost 20, and he's 23) and he lives back home in Virginia. His parents flew me down so I could spend his last weekend home with him as their going away gift to him (so sweet of them!!). It was totally amazing, and he was SO thankful I was able to come down and stay with him those last few days. Saying goodbye last night was the saddest thing in the world- while we were in the parking lot of the airport he kept saying he wished he could keep me with him longer and make me miss my flight just to spend a few more hours with me. He almost cried and I was doing my best not to sob.

He left today to go stay at a hotel near the MEPS and leaves tomorrow for Texas. I get to talk to him a little tonight and he said he might have time while waiting for the plane tomorrow, but other than that....no more. I'm starting to feel really down, and really lonely. Even though we're already used to being somewhat long distance, the longest we've gone without seeing eachother is a month. And even then, we've had skype/webcam, instant messaging, the phone, etc. We talk ALL the time and I just don't know what it's going to be like without him around. I promised I'd write him every day and he said he'd do everything he could to write me as much as possible.

He's going to call me this next upcoming weekend to give me his address and all of that-I've heard it's something like a 3 minute phonecall. I'm planning on keeping my phone fused to my body with a post it note and pen in pocket. I'm not missing that damn phonecall!

We have a really solid relationship...he talks about what it will be like when we live together, or when we're married. He also told me about different military weddings....so, wondering if he may pop the question in the next 4 years. :) I kind of implied I'd like to wait until we can actually live together when I'm out of school, but he said he's already started planning out what he's going to say to me. Hehehe.

So...any tips? Advice? Words of comfort? I don't know what I'm going to do without him around.. :(

uberlove uberlove
18-21, F
19 Responses Mar 1, 2010

Hey girly<br />
My boyfriend just left this morning at around 5am :( definitely one of the saddest days of my life. I ended up getting a hotel room at where he was staying and that morning after he left I was feeling SOOO lonely and luckily I stumbled upon this group and I am sooo happy :). He is going to San Antonio texas for BMT then tech school in San Antonio for 1 month so not too long! Im just hoping he gets stationed here. Hes 22 and I am 20 so somewhat close in age. <br />
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All you can really do is stay as positive as you can and keep busy busy thats what I am planning on doing. I am going to write him all the time and make a to do list to keep me busy. Even though I will probably be crying every night for awhile I know we will be able to get through it! Keep me updated on how things go maybe your boyfriend and mine are in the same place that would be ironic :). He graduates April 30th and let me know when you get your first call :D I cant wait for mine :).

Hey :) I'm glad to read your story. My boyfriend just left today as well and we're the same age as you and your boyfriend. It's been a bit difficult for me, but I've been able to cope pretty well so far. I'd like to be in contact with you, if you don't mind. We could help each other along since we're going through the 9 weeks together.

Yesss, we are planning on getting married when he gets done with tech school in May! :) He's been in tech for a little over a month now. And his first duty station is Minot, ND. It'lll be SO cold up there :/ But we're not having a wedding just yet. we don't have much time, plus we don't exactly have the money either, so we decided to just wait it out and get married in the courthouse for now. I heard that's what a lot of military couples end up doing.<br />
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BMT definitely boosted my boy's confidence. He's always like, "I'm a badass airman now!" haha It was nice seeing him during graduation weekend because you can just see the pride and happiness in them :) He might become a bit anal though, lol. Jordan has turned into a complete neat freak, always picking off lint and clipping strings because their uniform has to be absolutely perfect and in line. It's not really a bad thing, lol. They don't get all stiff and serious, I think it's more the Army or Marines that really messes people up sometimes. The Air Force can still be tough, but isn't too harsh.<br />
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And yes, they can get internet while in tech school. Jordan can't afford a laptop right now, but he uses the internet on his phone for Facebook. I know a lot of girls here like to go on webcam dates on the weekends and skype. I just have to stick with texting and phone calls. But once he's in Tech school, you will be able to talk to him everyday :)<br />
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Feel free to add me on Facebook as well. I saw your name on Shannon's reply, but there were like 500 Amber Smith's lol. So I think it'd be easier for you to find me. My name's Mariah Liongco :)

I went through AF BMT in '08. I wonder if it's longer for him or you? It seemed to last forever for myself. I got a couple letters from my mother. I never had time to write her back though. No time at all. 3 minute phone call? For me it was 10 seconds.<br />
Two months is a long time. Saying it isn't would be saying I don't cherish time.<br />
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Good luck!

I know im REALLY late but welcome to the group!!! I know its hard at first but it will get better over time. Be sure to write him every single day if possible. It really helps keeps you from falling into a pit of despair. lol. Feel free to come here whenever you have something on your mind. ^)^

Hahaha :)! I make him corny stuff all the time, I'm a crazy art kid so he's come to expect these kinds of things...and he loves it too, lol. He's kept like everything I've ever made him. It'll be so much fun going through these letters years and years from now. Hehe. <br />
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And I definitely will be venting, and praying his TI is not the spawn of satan. Thanks for the welcome. :)

Welcomeeeeeeeeee =) (smiles and hugs) Like you probably heard, it will most likely be about three weeks before you hear from him =( but yes write as much as possible, i loveeee writing now. It helps me get through all of this. my boyfriend is like my real-life size diary!!! They appreciate and look forward to the letters soo much. Try not to be very sad in your letters..it will bring him down..BUT its ok to let him know what your going through. since Richards been gone, he really has turned into my bestfriend!! Stayyy busy as much as possible. And yes, pray that he has a nice TI..Richard's TI is pretty cool. He lets them call every weekend, and Richard was able to start writing after the 2nd week I believe. me & Richard were long distance for the most part. I was going to school two hours away from home..but i would always come home. When sending him stuff..get creative!!! and being corny is cool too!! lol. it will make him laugh. I send loveee cards all the time, send him lyrics to songs i know he likes..and today I made him a calendar and wrote something on just about everyday...like....love you hubby!!..say your prayers..etc. Things to make him smile. when you get your first call or letter, everything will be worth it!! And vent to us whenever you want to!!

Awwww wow, I read your story. That's really great, and impressive, how BMT worked things out. So do you think you guys will have a crazy military wedding if you get married (which it's sounding like you probably will)? :)<br />
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I'm just glad the TI's don't kill the goofyness permanently, hehehe. I feel like BMT will be really good for my boyfriend because he kind of has some low self esteem and confidence issues, which I think will totally change....but as you said, it's a good kind of change.<br />
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And I don't want to come off as a shallow person- but I can't help but be kind of excited about the muscles, lol. Can't wait to see my mighty-fine airman!!<br />
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So one more question- I forget, but is your guy in tech school now or is he out of it? I saw your story about the dream sheet but I just forgot what stage your guy was in. I've seen a lot of different answers, but I was just wondering if your man had internet at tech school? Internet makes long distance relationships much easier (though that's not saying much, because they're never actually easy) but I was just curious.

Well I reaaally hope it does work out for you! *crosses fingers* They have plenty of time to think about it!<br />
As far as looks go, his arm muscles did get bigger from all the pushups they had to do because his flight got in trouble quite a bit. It was funny because in some of the letters he wrote me, he said he thought he was getting fat. Like he was afraid i wouldn't think he was attractive anymore if he got fat, which is absurd, lol. And I guess somewhere in basic he gained some weight, but he somehow lost it all because in the middle of basic they get fitted for their blues (formal wear) and then come graduation time, his pants were way too big for him, lol. The hair does make a difference since they are pretty much bald, and I was not used to that. But they end up looking mighty fine :) <br />
As far as personality, with my experience, he did change, but it was in a gooood way. He was still the same goofy person, but he had a sort of pride about him, and was more respectful. He might march as he walks too because they get used to it. I thought it was cute. And he had better posture. My story "How the Air Force Saved my Relationship" goes into a lot more detail about how he changed. But it is VERY detailed and lengthy, lol. Basically, I still had my same fun loving, goofy Jordan, just with some added improvement :)

I know technically they can't really stop me, but....they're splitting paying for college with me and I couldn't do it without them, so I still have to keep that kind of stuff in mind..though I'd REALLYYY have to anger my parents for them to pull shenanigans like that (not helping pay for my education). <br />
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So, I definitely do think it'll work out. And yes, going to graduation would make me the freakin' happiest girl on the planet. I'm sure that's how everyone feels when they get to see their man after 8.5 weeks at graduation. :)<br />
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And yeah, exactly...I know my boyfriend is fine but there are plenty of stupid people likely to screw their flights over in some fashion, I just hope he doesn't get too many of them! <br />
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So.....did your guy look/act a lot different? Of course the short, short hair is different (my guy had looong hair and cut most of it off before he left, it was so shocking to see it so short!!! he can pull it off though), but what about..muscles? hehehe. My guy's in good shape but I'm kind of excited/intrigued by seeing what he'll look like after 8.5 weeks of all that intense training. *drools a little* ;P I'm also a little afraid of the crazy TI's making him less goofy, if that makes sense. We have all these stupid inside jokes and just really, well, goofy things we do..and I don't want him to change into a totally different person. :(

Well you are almost 20, so since his parents are willing to pay, could they really stop you from going? lol I think they should be okay with it though, they should understand what this would mean to you. I mean, that's all parents really want, is for us to be happy, right? Seeing each other after 8 1/2 weeks of very little contact would make you VERY happy :) lol<br />
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Yeah, he'll definitely be okay then. I just heard a guy not get his because he failed his room inspection, but I don't think your boy will have a problem with that at all. The thing that sucks though is how they treat the whole flight as one. So one person screws up, everyone gets punished. But that doesn't apply to getting the passes taken away, just having to do a sh*t load of situps or pushups, lol. It sucks when they get jackasses in their flight.<br />
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The PDA thing isn't TOO horrible. Like in the car rides to places we still got to hold hands and snuck in little kisses while out in public. As long as you're not having a huge makeout session in public, you'll be okay. lol

Yeah, at least HIS parents are....My mom loves him, but I've had the insanely over protective scary father type who's practically hated my boyfriend for the past couple of years (due to me initially lying about my boyfriend and our age difference. that's pretty much the only reason; my man isn't some hooligan or anything. haha. who knew my dad could hold such grudges!). I kind of brought up going to Basic Graduation with my dad a few weeks ago briefly, and he didn't immediately say "HELL NO!" so that's a really good sign in my book. :) And the fact that his parents are paying for it and will be down there with me (so I'm not in some strange city alone) should be enough to let him say yes. He's my only obstacle, but when I get home for spring break we'll sort it out. He's finally started to accept my boyfriend- I think joining the air force won him some big brownie points too. <br />
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And I'm totally not worried about my boyfriend getting in trouble- he's definitely not that type of guy at all. He's the quiet, reserved type and spent several years in ROTC back in high school so he knows how to follow orders. :) I'm just concerned about OTHER people screwing up, lol. They better behave themselves. I want all the time I can get with my man, even if I can't hold hands with him! At least we can lock arms, that's still some contact (which is nice!). But yeah, definitely sounds like a tease!!

It's great that he has such supportive parents of you two :) It sounds to me like there's nothing stopping you from going! 3 day weekend, and his parents are even willing to pay for the ticket, lol. I don't know if you know this already, but Thursday is the actual coin ceremony, which you can go to and he'll have base liberty afterwards. I wasn't able to make it Thursday. But Friday is his graduation ceremony and after that he'll have his town pass. And Saturday he'll have a town pass pretty much all day.i have a horrible memory, but I think it was from like 9am-8pm? Something like that. lol and Sunday is back to base liberty. Not to scare you or anything, but I've heard that sometimes they can take their passes away if they get in trouble, but he should be okay. One thing that really sucked about it was no PDA, aside from locking arms as if he is excorting you. I mean you're not even allowed to hold hands! You can give him a huge hug and a kiss when you first see him, but after that, nothing excessive. It's a tease. lol

Always try and see the good things and don't dwell on the "what ifs"! The worst is sometimes you will go sometime (mine was 22 days!) without hearing anything. No letters and no calls. Always remember that letter writing an phone calls are not up to them and its all decided by their TI. If you don't hear anything from him, its not always a bad thing. It can just mean he is busy and working to graduate! Seeing him at graduation for the first time in 8 weeks is an amazing feeling! Try your best to make it! Unfortonatly it can be expensive but it is a really good ceremony and nice to see what they have been doing for the past 8 weeks. Try and stay busy while he's gone, easyir said than done! I took up cooking while my guy was a basic. I would write him letters about my adventures burning things and ordering take because things would come out terrible at first, and now that he is back we can do it together! Like the other girls said WRITE EVERYDAY! They lovvvvvvve it! Even if you sound silly, they love hearing from their friends from home. I wrote silly stories about dates we went on and things we did together. He liked it because it got his mind off of where he was. <br />
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If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask! message me or put up a post. Everyone is really helpful on here. Feel better!!

nettsgirl- I'm SO glad I found this place. I know I'm going to have a rough time with all this so I'm really thankful to have found such a great group. And yeah...my boyfriend said to print out pictures so they TI's wouldn't be able to feel around for photos, haha. :) and I definitely am going to do everything I can do go- luckily my college is crazy and we have 3 day weekends, so it's totally going to work out. My boyfriend's parents insist on paying for my plane ticket and everything too, so being a poor college kid won't be an issue.

Well they basically summed it all up! lol this is such an awesome group full of wonderful, strong ladies. My boyfriend graduated from basic Jan 15. I wish I had known about it while my boyfriend was in basic because I didn't really have anyone to talk to. But the girls on here are so great and helpful, you've come to the right place :) I guess the most important thing is to write, write, write. That will be the best part of their day. My boyfriend said everyone in his flight was always jealous of him cause he always got at least one letter everyday. And sending pictures is good too. I'm sure your boyfriend would LOVE to see your lovely face while he's stuck with 50+ guys for 8 1/2 weeks. Remember to always keep it simple and don't send anything to make him stand out, the plainer, the better. Like Shannon said, really do try your hardest to go to his BMT graduation. It was literally the best weekend of my life, and i know you're boyfriend would definitely be SO happy to see you there. We're all here for you! It'll be tough, but you'll make it through, just like the rest of us :)

Thank you both so, so much. I really needed to hear some words of encouragement. I don't know anyone else in my group of friends and family who've ever gone through anything like this, so it's really good to hear from people who have. <br />
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Smako-<br />
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That's awesome that you two are in such a similar position, I DEFINITELY want to keep in touch! I feel like I have so many questions even though I've done loads of my own research. If you see an "Amber Smith" trying to add you on facebook, that'd be me. :)<br />
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Lizzie- Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement. It means a lot.

Same exact story almost, I've been waiting for someone to come on here with almost the similar scenario as me! Michael is 23 & I'm 19 almost 20! I am in college in Orlando & he used to go to UGA.<br />
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Listen to me, BMT is not easy but if you can make it through that (& you WILL) then you can make it through anything they throw at you (which will be a lot). This experience is difficult but it will be more rewarding than anything you've done before.<br />
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Words of advice: <br />
1) KEEP your phone on you ALWAYS. Always? Always. I didn't get many phone calls but I never missed one. Everytime my phone rang and it was a 210 number, my phone was ALWAYS in my hand. I became a woman posessed by my phone but it was absolutely worth it.<br />
2) Check the mailbox everyday...even when you don't want to. Make a roommate/friend do it if you think you can't suffer from disappointment any longer. It's worth every second you're away from him when you see a little blue envelope with the world's worst handwriting on it & a letter full of how much he misses/loves you.<br />
3) Send letters in PLAIN white envelopes without anything sketchy on it (i.e. no colored envelopes, no cute stickers). The plainer the outside of the envelope is the less likely that the MTI will open it up & make your boyfriend read it, or read it outloud himself. <br />
4) Send PICTURES (a lot of them) but I waited a week or two before I did this because I was told to. The first two weeks I only sent letters. The MTI will feel the outside of the envelope to see if there are pictures in there, if there are he will probably open it. AND your pictures WILL be passed around to every AB in the squadron so obviously send appropriate ones<br />
5) Stay encouraging. I wrote letters when Michael was in BMT about how much I hated this life & how much I didn't think I could do it anymore & then I ripped them up & threw them out & wrote letters about how proud I was of him. I always ended a letter in a quote about being strong/brave & how proud I was of him. <br />
6) Do everything you can to go to BMT graduation, it's a once in a lifetime experience & if you're like me & don't really have a strong understanding about what the military is all about it's definitely an eye opening experience.<br />
7) Stay busy while he's gone...since you're in school like me, it shouldn't be too hard for you either. I always made sure I was working or doing school work & the only time I really had any "time" to miss him was before I went to bed at night & when I woke up in the AM.<br />
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I know I wrote a lot & I could probably go on & on about all this but I know YOU CAN DO THIS. You're going to be a strong & beautiful AFGF now. Any questions you have feel free to look me up on Facebook: Shannon Makowski <br />
Your boyfriend loves you so much & everything is going to work out!! =]

my bf just graduated from basic training this weekend. sweety leaving was so hard for me too. but this weekend was great. here are some things i didnt know berfore that i can help u with. depending on what MTI he gets depends on if he will be able to write. mine had a girl MTI who was nice enough to let him write every weekend. his friend had a guy MTI who was a jerk and he only got to write 4 letters the entire time. it will be atleast a week before he can call and give his address. when he does it will be fast and u might not get all of it correct but dont worry even if u miss the call a postcard should come in with his address on it. hoiwever he can only send it to one person so if it doesnt come to you check with his parents. Remember the first two weeks are going to be the hardest on him. they actually made mine write a letter telling me how big of a piece of S*** he was and even threatened to make him call me and read it to me. so ifhe doesnt write then remember that it might not be his fault. they can only send mail on sundays so u will get some two or three at a time. u can send pictures and greeting cards but no packages/ money/ or gift cards of any sort. letters are what help them make it through the whole thing. my bf said he couldnt have done it without me and i wrote him everyday. even sent two on monday because mail doesnt run on sundays. they have to study and do everything right because they can take hours off his weekend of graduation if he messes up or answers a question wrong. one guy got 12 hours taken off his weekend all at one time. if u have any questions u can go to the basictraining.af.mil website and it has lots of helpful information there. any questions im here. good luck.