A Little Help Please?

My boyfriend is at meps at the moment. He only just left today and will be shipped out to basic tomorrow. I was real sad and cried when we had our last moment together and I feel a bit sad at the moment, but haven't been too sad today. Mostly I'm trying to stay positive and think of all the things I want to do for him while he's away... I'm going to make him something to match a gift I gave him for Christmas and I'll fill out a journal for him til he gets back. just stuff like that. But, should I feel sadder? Is there something wrong with me? We talked on the phone today and I feel like I love him so much. What if I'm wrong?

I don't have feelings for other guys at all. Nor do I want to have feelings for other guys. Can somebody help me make sense of my feelings?

SaranghaeKisses SaranghaeKisses
18-21, F
12 Responses Mar 1, 2010

Well he was in the airport. Once he called again it lasted 32 seconds. Lol.<br />
But even better news!!! I've been able to figure myself out. For the first time in years since my depression, I've been able to come to terms with myself and what I want. And I realize that with Joe in the Air Force it's not a question of whether I love him enough. It's a question of, "What do I do for 7 months?"<br />
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I'm so happy I finally sat down and thought everything out and came to the conclusion that I do love him! Thank you, everyone who helped me. I'm so grateful.

talked to him for almost two hours ?!<br />
i only got 20 minute calls.

Hey girls! I have some great news :)<br />
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Joe called me today. It was in the middle of my midterm so I was super worried about missing his call. But eventually, I was able to call him back and talk to him for almost 2 hours!<br />
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Talking to him made me realize how comfortable I am with him, how much fun I have with him, and just how good we are together. I smiled so much during our talk. I'm not sad right now, but believe me I cried during the exam earlier because I thought I'd missed his call and the professor wouldn't let me leave. <br />
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I'm actually feeling real hopeful for a future with him. I trust him, he trusts me. But at the same time, I still wonder why I'm not feeling sadder. Maybe I'm just good at coping? I wasn't with him 24/7 before he left. We lived about an hour apart and could only be with each other some weekends and a couple days a week.<br />
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The only real bad news I have right now is that I don't know when we'll be able to talk again. But that's not so bad, because at least I get to look forward to hearing from him again :)

I would just give it time. Distance with either make your love for each other grow or make you realize that its not what you want. My boyfriend has been gone for a week and its killing me to be apart from him, but I dont necessarily think its a bad thing that you aren't sad yet. I have a really hard time with separation, especially since I spent 24 hours a day with my boyfriend before he left. Thats why all of this is so hard for me. Some girls have an easier time waiting than others. I feel that being away from him has made my love grow much deeper. So give it some time and you'll realize if you cant live without him. I would also suggest waiting for your first phone call or letter, once I heard my boyfriends voice for that 3 minute phone call I immediately missed him ten times more. And from what a lot of other girls say, the first letter from him will be amazing. Hopefully his words will make you realize how much you love him (or dont). Good luck and keep us updated!

Wow. I'm glad you've got things figured out. But I also sort of envy you. I'm sorry. It's a bad thing to have envy. But at this point, I'm pretty depressed because I'm not sure how much I love my boyfriend. I don't know if it's stress or just the fact that I'm usually unsure in a relationship due to a very hurtful past, but I just feel so damn hopeless at the moment. How am I supposed to know if he's the one for me?

My relationship has definitely changed for the better :) Ive seen absolutely nothing but positive changes in Nick. Nothing negative has come out of him joining the military at all. He definitely appreciates me a lot more. We've definitely grown as a couple and we're sooooo much closer than we were before he left, and I didnt even think that was possible because we were super close then lol He also appreciates all of the little things. Like a simple good night text or a two hour webcam session :)<br />
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The last time I saw him was at his bmt graduation in early January for four days. I hope to fly out to see him at tech school over my spring break, but plane tickets from Oregon to Texas are ridiculously expensive, so it looks like that might not happen. He graduates from tech school in mid May and then goes to Arizona for three weeks for some extra training. When he's all done with that in early June, he'll be able to be home on leave for 15 days before moving to his first duty station in Phoenix, Arizona :) And since he'll be so close, I'll be able to fly down there often to see him :) We hoooope to get married as soon as I graduate with my degree in 3 years. And as soon as we're married, I'll move down there with him. Its definitely a long distance relationship with a lot of waiting. But its soooo worth it :)

Thanks deevon :)<br />
I'm so grateful to have people to relate to.<br />
How is your relationship different (both better and worse) now that your boyfriend is out of basic. Do you get to see him much?

Hey girl! It seems like Nik answered all of your questions :) My boyfriend has been out of basic and in tech school for just about two months now. So if you have any other questions, Ive been there and done that so just let me know :) Youre definitely in the right place! Nik and all of the other girls on here are amazing and are sure to help you out with anything! Welcome to the group :)

Thank you! I can relate to you perfectly. I want to work on myself, become a better person both for myself and him. I'm so happy I found this website because it helps so much. Thank you once again GirlRich =)

I feel like during this time apart from him, you are going to realize exactly what you want. Before Richard left, i was soooo ready to be done with him and work on myself and get my life together. But with him leaving i realized thats exactly where my heart is and no other guy compares. And this time apart has done nothing but make me closer to him and our relationship has grown soo much stronger. He is growing as a man and me and as woman. So what your going through is totally normal hunni.

Thank you so much, GirlRich! I've been super depressed lately from things not related to my relationship and just need someone to turn to. I feel like I really love my boyfriend but I need to work on myself so much more to get rid of all the bad feelings left over from my past. I love him so much, but I feel horrible for the fact that I haven't been sad or crying more. Should I be more sad than I am now?

Hey hun, what your going through is TOTALLY normal, for sure!! I had those exact same feelings once my boy left. Keeping busy is the best way to get through this...the first couple of weeks will be the hardest. Then it will get easier. But start writing him now. How long have you guys been together?? While he is away, he will discover alot of feelings that he thought he may never had. You just have to be there for him through this and everything will be worth it in the end. Im on week 4 and i already notice a difference & even though I miss him terribly and cry all the time...Im soo happy that he made this decision. But things will get easier...I promise. Vent to us as much as possible.