Fears About Him Leaving For Basic

Hi, i'm Cody, i'm new on here! I came on here to find support of people who are in a similar situtation. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 months and we have an amazing relationship. We get along so great && we know we belong with eachother. When i first met him (in october) the whole idea of being in the airforce was never mentioned. Once it was, i knew things were going to start to get hard between us. At first i was very against it and we had many arguments over it, when he turned 18 he went to go sign up but they were full, so he had to start planning a different future, he wasn't happy at all, but i was very excited because our new plan was to go to college near/with eachother, and possibly live together. A few weeks later his recruiter called him to tell him there was an opening, i was heartbroken. i had gotten so used to the new plan and excited for it i was so sad to hear it was back to the old one. We again started the arguing over it, and i'll be honest, i tried to talk him out of it MANY times. This past week he went to take the oath and get the date for when he has to leave for basic (july 6th) 3 days before our 6th month! Once it got set in stone i knew i needed to change my attitude about it, so now i'm trying to support him but  i can't help but be sad when i think of him being gone,and the weeks during basic when i won't talk to him, and how things will be after basic, as well as all the things he's gonna miss out on, i came on here and read alot of your stories before i joined, reading alot of your stories really helped me to be more confident that it will be okay. I still have many fears and in fact today i was hanging out with him before he had to go to work, and when he had to leave i cried, because now i'm really appreciating every moment we have together and i really don't want to be away from him. Granted, we have a long distance relationship now (45 mins) but it really isnt a problem we see eachother at least 2  times a week, if not more.  As well as were texting 24/7 . The fact that soon he'll be gone MILES away, really scares me. There's only one base remotely close to our area, so he'll most likely be very far away. I know the whole airforce thing makes him ridiculously happy, so i'm trying really hard to support him, but deep down it makes me miserable. I know at the moment i am lucky to have him cause he's not gone quite yet, but i have many fears and worries about how things are going to be, so i'd love to make some friends on here that can maybe help me understand what to expect && other such things. (:

sunshineloviieexo sunshineloviieexo
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 13, 2010

he wont be able to take a scrapbook or anything like that with him, they are allowed to bring a few photos but that is it, he cant receive packages in the mail once he gets there either, only letters and cards (not singing cards tho). Once he gets there you can mail him more pictures i think. It would still be nice to make a scrapbook tho and give it to him to look at before he leaves, or bring it to him when he graduates basic and he can take it with him to tech school. his recruiter should give him a list of what he is allowed to bring to basic. if not then he can find it online.

thanks you guys (: I'm definitely glad i joined this! haha, It's relieving to see that other people are dealing with the pretty much same exact things and that things are going somewhat well, I'm really looking forward to having you guys to talk to cause my friends don't understand at all nor do they really care when i try to talk to them about why im feeling down about it. We haven't had any fights lately about it because i've told myself to stop being so selfish, but i feel like its CONSTANTLY on my mind. I definitely do plan on being with him forever, it's kind of shocking how much i care about him. It def makes it alot easier when its thought of as "a little piece of forever" and i try to tell myself that i do really love him && my hearts set on him so its just something that we need to go through. Although it's always in the back of my head "why can't he just have chosen to go to college?!" haha . We always take alot of pictures && i had even made a scrapbook of us for valentines day so that he could have it. Can they bring anything to Basic (other than the essentials)? i wanna give him something to just remind him that i love him && support him. I'm also very uneducated about alot of this airforce stuff and how it works so some of my question might sound dumb lol

Hello =] i know exactly what you are feeling. .my boyfriend leaves for basic in 2 weeks.. but when he first started thinking about joining, it broke my heart.. i felt like he was making a decision that was ruining our relationship.. when he actually joined, i started to look at the big picture like getting married and having kids.. and i started getting really depressed cause all i could think about was how we wouldnt be able to have the wedding we talked about. and how he might not even get to see the birth of our kids & he is obviously going to miss some big moments in our life.. but i have learned that it is best to take this a day at a time. i will deal with those issues when they come. so right now i am focusing on getting the most out of our time together.. i try to memorize his smile, take lots of pictures... and even write down some of the sweet things he says to me so that while hes gone, i have something to remind me of our love. Im not going to say its easier because now that the deadline is almost here, i have found myself crying myself to sleep- ALOT! but i also have realized that i need to stop being so selfish about this.. he LOVES that he is going into the air force- he loves that he got a fire fighting job- and he loves that he will always be able to support me & in the future our family.. so i try to remember these things & try to support him as much as possible. I also try to talk to him about all these feelings.. i told him numerous times how hard this is on me- because he honestly knows me so well(we have been dating for over 2 years) that he saw it by himself.. so me talking to him about my feelings & my fears has helped alot.. just try to enjoy your time.. and try to find a way to support him even if its killing you inside.. & remeber you always have this site to help you if you need to just talk.. because believe me- we know what your going through.. hope this helps a little bit<br />
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ps. sorry if i rambled.. lol i tend to do that sometimes.

:) yup! like hmb1290 said its really effing hard at first :/ the days will go slow. BUT! you have to make tthe time you have with him special my advice would be not to fight :( its hard when theres always somwthing stupid that comes up but dont let that get in the way seriously ^_^ i was sad/depressed/mad that he was leaving but that fact was he was leaving, so i tried to be happy *which was hard* haha actaully the last 2 weeks i think, the idea hit me harder and i cried my lil heart out like crazy :(((( like whenever he left bam! started crying :( its tough but try to be happy for him, hes happ and i bet he doesnt want to see you miserable especailly before he leaves :) so just take your time one day at a time, lol im not saying your never gonna fight but ^_^ its nice to have more good memories then bad ^__^ lol sorry i started to rant lol but yeah if you ever need to talk to anyone here dont hesitate to ask/talk ^__^ the girls here are amazing and thier really helpful! lol my bf been in BMT for 6 weeks now so yay! almost graduation :D <br />
im not sure wat to expect after but ^_^ i have hope that everything will work out ^__^ for you too ofcourse :D

Welcome to EP! We all know exactly what you are going through. Nobody likes the idea of being away from their boyfriend with very little communication. But my advice to you would be to support him, no matter how hard it is, because this is what he wants. Im not going to lie, it is extremely tough at first, but things get better. You still have a while until he leaves, so make the best out of every single moment with him because time will fly. The first week of him being at basic is the hardest, but after that it goes by faster. My boyfriend has been gone for 2 1/2 weeks and i thought I was going to die at first. The first week went by terribly slow, but now things are getting better. You just have to keep telling yourself that it will all be worth it in the end. I wanted to pick fights with my boyfriend before he left because I didn't want him to go, but DONT, because it is such a waste of time. I look back and wish I wouldnt have made such a fuss about stupid little things. He always told me "Its going to suck being apart for these few months, and then being apart while im in tech school, but we have FOREVER to be together". which is true, if you really picture yourself being with him forever then this is only a very small chunk of forever. Just try to stay positive and talk to any of us whenever you feel the need to, these girls are all wonderful and we are all going through the same thing. So good luck and keep your head up because him going into the air force will be awesome for your guys' future!