Only Two Weeks Left :)

So, in exactly two weeks I will be in San Antonio, and I am so excited that its getting closer to me seeing my boy :) ....But for some reason, the past week has been SO much harder for me. It was really hard on me the first week he left.... and then i was fine...and now Ive been crying at night and missing him even more. Maybe its because I know Im so close to seeing him. I really think its starting to get hard on me though because im getting all excited about going to see him...but its only for a weekend, and part of me doesnt want to accept the fact that things arent going back to how they were before he left, i dont want to accept that im still going to be alone at night or that hes not going to be coming home this summer for dinners with our families and all that stuff that im sooo used to. :( dont get me wrong, i am 100% thankful for getting even the shortest time in the world to see him....and the weekend will be looking forward to it more than anything.... I guess Im just down n out because once I get to san antonio that means im 4 days closer to having to say goodbye again and doing the whole process over :( i hate goodbyes.... i hate having to walk away from him knowing that there is absolutely nothing i can do to change the situation, and i hate knowing that it will be months before i see him again. so hopefully this is just a short phase that has hit me for a few days and tomorrow i'll be back to my cheery self, counting down the days til im in his arms :) sorry that this post was all rambling and probably didnt make much since. i just had to vent because none of my friends understand and they say all the wrong things at all the wrong times.

hmb1290 hmb1290
18-21, F
7 Responses Apr 7, 2010

i still havent found out how long his tech school is going to be, whats your bfs job going to be?

I feel EXACTLY the same way!!! I will be in San Antonio in 2 weeks too!! Is your bf at Lackland? When does he graduate? I agree with you. The first week was super hard and then I was pretty good the middle weeks and now I am a mess again and I feel so depressed and alone lately. Its getting so hard knowing its only 2 weeks, but 2 weeks seems so long too. I also know what you mean about seeing him for 4 days and then not being able to have him come home with me and starting over. I feel like this is over when he graduates but really my bf still has 6 months of tech school. I am going to see him as much as I can but I know that wont be alot :(...But in 2 weeks I will get to see him. Im so mad about the no affection rule though, but just to see him I know is going to be so amazing!!

these girls pretty much said it all. <br />
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tech school is wayyyyy better than basic though. i have talked to zach everyday and it still gets to me sometimes that we get to talk so much. when i went to see him at his graduation he bought me a web cam so we skype pretty much everynight that we can. its wonderful :) <br />
dont stress about saying goodbye to him just enjoy the time you have because it seriously does fly by. be excited that your almost there!!!

You sound kinda like me. I'm alllllways thinking things like "YAY! I get to see you in 2 weeks! But....then in 3 weeks we have to be apart again." And Tom is always yelling at me for it. It's not good tot think like that! Try to only only only think about getting to see him. I know it's kinda impossible most of the time, but try. =)<br />
I think this is also probably about the same time it hit ME that even though basic was over, that didn't mean things were going to be normal again. But over time you adjust to that, too. =) And then it'll be alright again. I'm wicked bad with change. I hate it. And my best friend just went into the military, too, so I'm trying to get used to HIM not being around all the time as well, and it's really hard...but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, and right now, we just have to get used to it. *shrug* But it'll be okay! 'Cause we have our men. =) And we know it, and really, in the end, that's all we need.

I was like that the last few weeks too. It just comes from being SO darn anxious to see him. The whole time he was in basic all I could think about was how things weren't going to be same. How, "our relationship isnt going to be how it was." But life happens. Things change. I, for one, am NOT a big fan of change. But I'd do anything for the boy :) We're both growing up and with that growing up comes a more mature relationship. I have to sacrifice to gain, ya know? Its hard now, but I can already tell how worth it this all is. And believe me, those 4 days with him are going to be more than you can ask for! You're going to have an absolutely amazing time! Focus on looking forward to it instead of dreading it. And remember, you arent saying goodbye. Goodbye is a forever thing. You're simply saying, "see you soon." Because he wont be gone forever and the nights alone are far from permanent :) I hope you feel better!

thanks, it just hit me out of nowhere. i plan on moving wherever he gets stationed after tech school, so hopefully his tech school isnt one of the extremely long ones. how long has your boyfriend been in tech?

It's normal..I did that the last few weeks too while my roommate was in the shower or in class... it's really hard, and i can't say how worth it it really is bc I haven't seen James since basic. But I have a feeling it's REALLY worth it. Hang in there girl...