What's Hard For Me...

Is not having my best friend around.

It just hit me that my best friend has been lost... temporarily I hope. I have a boyfriend still, but I have lost my best friend. He doesn't have time for my problems, to ask or hear about my day, to ask or hear about how I'm doing, how my family is doing, how school is doing. All he has time for is to ***** about how hard he has it, how much stress he's under, how much he has to study and how tired he is. I know that it's all true, he is sooo busy and I appreciate how stressed and tired he is, but I feel so alone... and even forgotten.

I miss having him to talk to about everything that goes on in my life, my daily activities, my thoughts, my concerns, my own stresses. And trust me, there's enough of those going on right now that I could probably write him a 16 page letter on each. I don't complain though, I keep my mouth shut and I encourage him in everything he does and says. But.. that is so draining. I'm the type of person that needs to express everything, every thought and feeling, I can't keep it bottled up and this is just not doing anything for me.

I don't want to put added stress on him because he has it coming from all directions (family, there, etc.) I just don't want to be another added thing to his list. I'm trying my hardest, and I write about it in his letters. I don't know what else to do.

I'm just a little bit broken and sad I think.

Night ladies.

- Lauren

letlovelive letlovelive
22-25, F
2 Responses Apr 13, 2010

Don't worry girl soon he will have more time and a lot less stress! What's really helped me so far is writing in my journal what I'd really like to say and then writing encouraging things in his letters. That way I can still express myself without bringing him down with me and some day when he's done with training I'll prolly make him read it so he can see it's just as hard for us!

Aww hunni, Ive been feeling like this too a little. Yeah Tech is better than BMT because we can talk to them on a daily bases but the conversation isnt what its all cracked up to be! Richards classes havent started yet, but mostly we talk about his day && little bullshit..but nothing about me. He asks did I finish my homework..stuff like that but not all the other stuff that Im use to discussing with him..like how my friends are complete idiots..sooo I understand exactly how you feel. Its just hard because...we really dont have anybody besides the rest of the girlfriends of airmen to talk to and really understand us..then our boyfriends really dont have the time either, so its like wtf? Idk..try not to let it bother you..Im sure if something is reallllly bothering you, he will listen! It will be okay.