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Seeing A Guy With Ptsd! Help Me Figure Him Out...i'm Lost.

So, I was well kind of seeing this guy. We met two months ago, after a month he asked me to move in. I did. It was amazing in all aspects. Told me he loved me, wanted to get married, have kids, and even went house hunting. Then, a few days ago he tells me he wants to be alone and that he prefers it that way. He's more comfortable. Also, something about how his schedule was being changed around and he didn't like it. He was a sweet guy, but wouldn't really cuddle...? I'm very affectionate, he's not. How do I deal with that?  When he was ending it with me, he was a complete 180*, he would not look at me and told me he regretting asking me to move in and told me to get out. I did. He says he hasn't been the same since he returned from Iraq two years ago. Now, he wants me back but to take things slow...what do I do here? We are talking again, but I told him I would only give him the time of day if he was serious about being with me. How do I make it a solid this time? I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to make him feel pressured...
jriggle jriggle 18-21, F 3 Responses May 22, 2010

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Good advice. The VA can help if the person wants help. I tried to tough it out on my own and just push all the memories away. It doesn't work. I've had a long time to get over the war that I was in and yet, some of the stuff still is there. I saw a shrink and we tried a lot of ideas but it's mainly up to me to deal with issues. I wish you all the best. If you change it a bit and say, for example, he's a great guy but every once in a while he breaks all the furniture in the house...how would you react to that? Everyone needs love but there are limits to what you should have to put up with. Especially, moving in with someone after such a short time knowing them sounds scary. Sometimes, moving out is hard to do.

everything she said above is true and great advice. my bf had (has) ptsd. we aren't together anymore but we're still part of each other's lives. to be honest...this is something that's causing him to not be ready for a serious relationship. so don't take offense to what your bf is saying. he's pulling back because he knows he isn't right. he wants to be with you but doesn't understand what's going on with himself. he should definitely be talking to a therapist about it. this isn't something that he can handle by himself and it will take a long time to heal from, depending on how severe his ptsd is. my man has it pretty bad but he's finally getting help. and i have to say that the change is already huge. but it's just like i told him....it will take a long time so you have to be patient. if you ever need anything please message me. xoxo<br />
Stella

My boyfriend hasnt been deployed yet and hopefully we wont have to go through this...but I come from a military family, all and I do mean ALL of my uncles were in the military and a aunt was in. One of them came back from Iraq and retired about a year or so ago and he has PTSD. We had to "learn" how to be around him again and be sensitive to certian things..like he couldnt be around a whole bunch of noise, we weren't allowed to wear scarves of ANY kind and we werent allowed to watch the news around him, he didnt allow it in his home. My advice to you is to be sensitive to him right because he honestly had gone through a lot being wherever he was deployed at. Like I said, just be sensitive, take things slowly, but dont forget about you and YOUR feelings.