Advice? Pleaseee.

I'm having mixed emotions about these fights my boyfriend and I have been having. He has two months (and two days [just saying]) until he leaves for basic. And trust me, he reminds me everyday. Like I need reminding?

But anyway.. back on subject. Im going crazy because I feel like he doesnt trust me at all. The truth is, I hate all the girls (except for my best friend, Rae) around here, because I've been effed over so many times by people I considered my best friends. So I hang out with guys. Its not like theyre random guys I JUST met. I've known them all for YEARS. If I havent known them as long as other friends, its the guys at the firehouse that we run at TOGETHER. I consider them all big brothers, and he knows them all. EVERY time I hang out with one of my guy friends he gets mad, and its not often that I do. It seems like he's expecting me to cheat on him. I don't know what Ive done for him not to trust me. He was so mad at me tonight for hanging out with a friend of mine while he was at work. My friend Zack asked me if I was allowed out to talk, because he just got out of a two year relationship and he was feeling like crap. I told him before hand, so he couldnt get mad about me not telling him, but it turned into a huggeee fight because I was "hanging out with some dude I used to hook up with." (just to be clear this was when I was in eighth grade, and I'm now about to go into my freshman year of college). He started asking where he lives and what's his address. Apparently it was suspicious?

I understand where he's coming from, but it kills me that he doesnt trust me enough to let me have guy friends. I'm mad because no matter how many times I tell him I am madly in love with him and I'll never ever ever in a gah-jillion billion years even think about leaving him, he doesnt seem to whole-heartedly believe me. I just want him to trust me while he's away.

I hate fighting with my baby, but should I not be allowed to have guy friends?
Did any of your men do this before they left? Uggh. I don't know what to do.

I hope you all are doing well, and your brave, strong, amazing men are okay.
melaniekateee melaniekateee
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 9, 2010

well... the differences you and your boyfriend are going through are pretty common. i mean, you always have to consider both sides in this equation, you love your boyfriend and want to reassure him that you will stay loyal/faithful to him and he on the other hand is worried because he is away at work and will soon be away for his basic training, so that in itself can explain why he's feeling a little threatened. you also have to consider the fact too, how would you feel if he had other friends that were "girls" that he hung out with occasionally too? and if that's something you're completely okay with, then let him know that so it makes things fair, you know? and maybe when you hang out with your guy friends, invite your boyfriend along sometimes so he is more comfortable with the idea. if he personally knew the guys you are friends with, maybe he would deal with the issue alot better. however, i know boys will still be boys though and have their jealous moments no matter what you do or say...<br />
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my husband (who is in germany and i will be moving there in about a month, woohoo!) still has those same worries about me from time to time and sometimes we have our arguments over it too. and i, like you, find myself reassuring him over and over again that i am loyal to him and i ABSOLUTELY love and ADORE him. i have lots of guy friends too and he knows it. however, i am totally comfortable with him having friends that are girls too and i don't mind if he hangs out or talks to them ...because i trust that he loves me and ONLY me, you know? <br />
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hang in there girly... and stay strong :)