Dear Army, I Hate You For Stealing My Boyfriend.

So, here I sit, staring at the computer screen at 5:05 in the morning. Everything's been so weird lately. I just want it to go back to the way it was. I want my boyfriend to quit the Army, and come back to me, yes, I know how stupid I sound saying that, but it's true. I hate the Army. Always have. But when he joined, I found an appreciation for all of the work military men do, but I still hate it, because he decided to join. Meaning he had to get up, and leave his girlfriend, family and friends for six months. 
The end of Basic training is slowly, but surely approaching, meaning they're busier, MEANING, I rarely get letters. The last letter I got was either last Friday, or Monday of this week, in the time that I get one letter, I send him probably four letters. I know that it's not his fault, or maybe it is, but it drives me completely insane. I come downstairs every morning and either go to get the mail, or ask if somebody already got the mail, and when I don't find a letter, or somebody tells me I didn't get anything I just want to burst into tears. I've been good lately about crying. I haven't cried in a while. But tonight I sobbed like a baby. At around 4:00 I went to bed, and was going to go to sleep. To bad my brain decided to be the most active that it was all day, and all sorts of thoughts raced through my mind. Sleeping has become unusually difficult. I hate it. The last dream I can remember, was like Monday, I had a dream that my baby came home to surprise me on my birthday (which is two months away, won't happen though, I'm aware) and I woke up and shed a few tears, and got up for the day. I was a complete mess that day. I yelled at everybody for everything. I've never been away from him longer than a few days at a time, this is just crazy. Back to my story though, I was laying down, with thoughts racing through my mind, when I closed me eyes, and finally got to sleep, I had a dream that he died, and that me and his mom were talking about what a great guy he was at his funeral. I woke up in tears, and decided I don't need sleep, or want sleep. The thought of that dream makes me cry. That's not even a dream, that's a nightmare. I never thought being away from him would be this hard. My boyfriends friends friend, (lol), has a fiance in the army, and she had his baby while he was deployed. He just got home yesterday and met his son for the first times, looking at the pictures made me so happy for them, but so sad. 
Every night I go to sleep, hoping to dream of him, then wake up in the morning to a letter from him, every morning I wake up, and think "I'll have a letter today! I have to have one, it's been a few days!" I'll get myself excited, then whadya know, NO LETTER. 
I hate him not being here.

Especially when our anniversary is tomorrow </3
My card won't even get to him on time ):

armyygirlfriendd armyygirlfriendd
18-21, F
11 Responses Jul 10, 2010

reading the first part of your story i could relate EXACTLY lol....yes i hate the army i love seeing people in inform and i would always run to the mailbox i run to my phone but dont get to mad about not getting letters because they are SO busy they cant just get right back to boyfriend didnt even get the last letter i sent i have NO clue where it is i guess he wasnt able to get it when dealing with basic know it's a little funny how we running to the mailbox it reminds me of the movie "p.s i love you". i hope you can have peace dreams and NOT nightmares!

I know the feeling I've got a six month old daughter and were engaged but it's ruining us. I can't deal with it. It's worse than been single. Knowing u have someone and you can't see them. I hate it. So maybe I'll be better off on my own? I don't know cause I love him more than anything but do I really want to be miserable and live like this? I want my family back to the way it was, but it isn't going to happen so do I put up with the heartbreak for however many years he's in? Or get over the heartbreak sooner and just not be with him? I'm so confused :(

ive just sat here, reading through all these comments crying my eyes out, my boyfriends in the army, and its hard, but we've gotta be there for them:) chin up though<3.

awe, i know.<br />
he finally has his phone so i get to talk to him.<br />
but yeah.. i hate the army. lmao

I have been having the same problem. I already had problems sleeping but since he left I've been going bed between 4 and 7 in the morning. I have dreams he came back for me, he colored his hair, I went to his graduation, all of that. There are good dreams and then terrible ones. And I haven't had a letter in a long time. He's sooo busy and I send him a letter ever day but I like to do that. I get up in the morning and ask if anyone has got the mail and if not I go get it. I tell myself I don't have a letter so I don't get let down but deep inside there's that evil part of me that says I do have a letter. So I always get disappointed. Today my mom and I were cleaning out our fridge and found a bottle of wasabi sauce that we bought for him to eat. My mom asked if she could throw it away and I started tearing up. I didn't fully cry, only a few tears came out and my mom kept the wasabi...haha. But just think, one day you'll be able to fall asleep and wake up next to him! It may be a long way away but that's what gets me through this. I never liked the idea of the army before my boyfriend joined but I do have major respect and thanks for soldiers. I said I hated the army many times and still do but I still let him know I'm proud.

you're welcome! thank YOU!<br />
will do, sounds wonderful!

awwh thanks sweetie! hope everything goes great for ya too! message me anytime! keep in touch :)

Awe! Moving to germany should be interesting! Lol. Congrats on getting married! I hope everything goes WONDERFUL with the move and everything.<br />
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Thank you so much & the same goes for you!! :)

hang in there sweetie... i know its difficult having our soldiers away but in the mean time, we gotta do our best to stay busy and keep ourselves distracted. i cry myself to sleep sometimes too, so i totally understand how that goes. he'll be done with his training and before you know it, you'll be able to call him, text him, and see him again and you won't have to rely on letters everyday. each day that goes by is a day closer till you get to see him again! yay!<br />
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i totally know how you feel... my husband left to germany right after we got married at the end of march this year and we're still in the waiting process to get me over there. we have about one more month to go till i move to germany (woah!) and the paperwork will be finally done next week.... but this waiting game is taking its toll on me too :,( <br />
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if you need to talk or anything, feel free to message me :)

I know it's going to be okay, he texted me today and I told him about last night and he LAUGHED AT ME. He said "Haha :) Keep your head up. It'll be okay." then I said "don't laugh hoee." then we talked about other stuff. I know everybody feels this way at some point, I understand. I'm doing a little better since I got to talk to him for 15 minutes today. But once he has to go it always rushes back to being sad. I'm good about sending him letters(: He said he just sent me some, and a few had pictures, so I'm excited!. I'll be sure to message you if I feel like being a debbie downer! lol<br />
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Thank you so much!(:

It's going to be okay!! i know you've heard that, like, 1,000,000,000 times!!!!! I know I did when I went through this, but please, PLEASE believe it!!! He needs you to stay strong for him and to support his Army career. I know it sucks - I get those feelings, too. I remember saying the same thing - that I hated the Army for taking my soldier away from me. But, my soldier returned home to me and I have to understand it was just a really rough time for me. I felt like no one understood my feelings and like I was going crazy, so i understand where you are coming from!!! Just keep pushing through and keep sending him those letters. I'm sorry, girly, that you are sad. I hope you are doing okay today. I'm thinking about you and I'm here to message if you need someone to talk to. Good luck and keep on pushing to his return date!!!!!