Dear Army, I Hate You For Stealing My Boyfriend.So, here I sit, staring at the computer screen at 5:05 in the morning. Everything's been so weird lately. I just want it to go back to the way it was. I want my boyfriend to quit the Army, and come back to me, yes, I know how stupid I sound saying that, but it's true. I hate the Army. Always have. But when he joined, I found an appreciation for all of the work military men do, but I still hate it, because he decided to join. Meaning he had to get up, and leave his girlfriend, family and friends for six months.
The end of Basic training is slowly, but surely approaching, meaning they're busier, MEANING, I rarely get letters. The last letter I got was either last Friday, or Monday of this week, in the time that I get one letter, I send him probably four letters. I know that it's not his fault, or maybe it is, but it drives me completely insane. I come downstairs every morning and either go to get the mail, or ask if somebody already got the mail, and when I don't find a letter, or somebody tells me I didn't get anything I just want to burst into tears. I've been good lately about crying. I haven't cried in a while. But tonight I sobbed like a baby. At around 4:00 I went to bed, and was going to go to sleep. To bad my brain decided to be the most active that it was all day, and all sorts of thoughts raced through my mind. Sleeping has become unusually difficult. I hate it. The last dream I can remember, was like Monday, I had a dream that my baby came home to surprise me on my birthday (which is two months away, won't happen though, I'm aware) and I woke up and shed a few tears, and got up for the day. I was a complete mess that day. I yelled at everybody for everything. I've never been away from him longer than a few days at a time, this is just crazy. Back to my story though, I was laying down, with thoughts racing through my mind, when I closed me eyes, and finally got to sleep, I had a dream that he died, and that me and his mom were talking about what a great guy he was at his funeral. I woke up in tears, and decided I don't need sleep, or want sleep. The thought of that dream makes me cry. That's not even a dream, that's a nightmare. I never thought being away from him would be this hard. My boyfriends friends friend, (lol), has a fiance in the army, and she had his baby while he was deployed. He just got home yesterday and met his son for the first times, looking at the pictures made me so happy for them, but so sad.
Every night I go to sleep, hoping to dream of him, then wake up in the morning to a letter from him, every morning I wake up, and think "I'll have a letter today! I have to have one, it's been a few days!" I'll get myself excited, then whadya know, NO LETTER.
I hate him not being here.
Especially when our anniversary is tomorrow </3
My card won't even get to him on time ):
armyygirlfriendd 16-17, F 13 Responses 1 Jul 10, 2010