New To The Army Experience. Advice And Encouragement Is Welcome!

My name is Alli, and in the past serving in the Military was always a deal breaker for me. That was until I met Andrew. Andrew and I have been dating for just over a month now and he has three years of active duty left. When I began spending time with  Andrew I had no intention of pursuing a relationship with him because I knew he was in the Army. The more time I spent with him the more I found myself falling for him, I've never been the type to rush into things head first but with Andrew all I wanted was to be his grilfriend so we made it official. Now he is 1512 miles from me for two weeks and it's all because of the Army. I'm not having second thoughts because I've never been happier in my life than I am when he's holding my hand. I know now that I could never break up with him just because of the Army. I made the Army-deal-breaker rule out of ignorance, when I'm holding his hand with his uniform on I'm the proudest girlfriend in the entire world. However, I've never had the experience of not being able to go see someone when I wanted to. No boyfriend has ever been 1512 miles from me for any length of time and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lost, alone, and sad. Thankfully I met him after his deployment because I don't know how I would ever deal with that...but I'm looking for some advice, support, or anything an experienced Army girlfriend can give to a new army girlfriend. Thanks!

Alli =]
aicrabb aicrabb
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Thank you both soooooo sooooo very much!

Well the good thing is that everyone here knows exactly what you are going through! It is hard but so very worth it. My soldier just deployed 2 days ago and it is so very hard, but you just have to stay positive and try and think about everything that you have to look forward to when he is close to you again. Keep your chin up and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me.

Well, I've been an Army girlfriend for almost 2 years. My soldier only has about 10 months of active duty left until his contract is finally up. We've faced a lot of separations together, so I understand what you are feeling right now when you say you feel "lost, alone, and sad". I feel that way every time my soldier leaves. The worst was when my soldier left for OCS and was 650 miles away with no phone or computer privileges. felt as if I was going to just lose my mind. But we both made it through together. The best advice I can give you as an experienced Army girlfriend is to always keep your schedule as busy as possible. I'm a senior in college and an avid runner, so I'm always busy with classes, papers, etc. plus going on my nightly runs, which last about 3 to 6 miles. When I'm not studying or running, I'm either on the phone with my mom or spending time at her home with her (if it's the weekend), going for walks, hanging out with a few good friends, biking trails, etc. I just keep busy because I know if I have any spare time on my hands, I will spend them thinking of how much I miss my soldier. Just take everything one step at a time. It's hard to just drive right into being an Army girlfriend. You have to test the waters and learn how the Army works. Expect unexpected orders for your soldier to leave when he is home with you. Understand that there will be more separations just like this one in the future, even though you may not know when they'll be. But the best advice I can give you is to support your soldier 100% - that's what being an Army girlfriend is all about. Although being away from him sucks and it hurts, although you wish you could just have a normal life with him sometimes, as much as you may begin to dread or hate the Army because they take your soldier away from, you must stand by him always and understand that love knows not distance and time, only strength and perseverance. Love your soldier and know he's coming back to you - and only you. Good luck, girl. Message me anytime if you're going through a rough patch and need someone to talk to.