Not Ready To Say Goodbye

In the past week..i've had mini breakdowns everyday. I say goodbye to Andrew on sunday. He leaves for afghanistan soon and my heart hurts. Every bad thought you can possibly imagine goes through my mind. I can't imagine having to give him that last hug and last kiss and last adoring glance his way for  6, 7 months.  He doesnt seem to want to talk about it at all. but he has no choice this weekend, because i'll be a mess. the flight back is going to be painful. pray for me..i'll need it all girls :*(
alliej05 alliej05
22-25, F
4 Responses Jul 12, 2010

thank you so much girls! it def doesn't take much for me to have tears trickling down my cheeks. it's a daily thing. and he hasnt even left yet! .hopeully it will get better. i'm used to only seeing him once a month or two..so the first 2 months will be okay..but after that will be hard :-/ <br />
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Jay96xgirl: that's a crazy story! but i'm glad everyone was so helpful for u and supportive. <br />
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It's one thing to be away from our men for such a long time..but then the danger is added on and u can't help but fear something bad could happen. bahhh can't think that! and you girls are right..it's not goodbye..and i wont say that word to him.

I know how you feel. My soldier left 6 days ago and the first 2 or 3 days I would cry at random no matter where I was, at the store, ordering food and my biggest melt down was at the DEERS office on post ( we just got married so I went to sign up as his dependent and get an ID card). He told me just to go to the office and get everything taken care of. Piece of cake right? OH NO first of all I got lost on post on my way over there, then you must have an appointment.... which I did not have, then I was missing some paper work. The lady was looking at me like I was stupid for not magically knowing all of this. And I lost it . I just started crying, in front of 3 or 4 soldiers and their families and in front of the ladies that work there. She said " what is the matter with you?" and all I could say was " He's gone and I'm lost, I just don't know what to do!" Well her attitude changed quickly and she came around the desk and gave me a hug and told me that everything would be ok. She also gave me her number in case I needed to talk to anyone. I didn't really mean that I was lost and didn't know what to do with myself since my soldiers gone ( even though it does feel that way sometimes) I just meant I didn't know what to do about the Army and all of it's damn paperwork!! lol It's funny to me now . The first few days are terrible but you will get through it! keep your chin up ! I'm here if you need to talk!

Hey girl, you'll defintely be in my thoughts and prayers. My Andrew has been deployed however we weren't together then so I haven't had to go through it with him yet, but the title of this story is "Not Ready to Say Goodbye"...but don't think of it as goodbye. Because it isn't goodbye, it's "see you later." =]....goodluck, i'm thinking of you.

I am in your exact situation girl. You'll be in my thoughts. It is hard but we have to stay strong for our boys. <3 It's the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but if you two can make it through a deployment....everything else will be nothing. :)