Am I Cliche?

Oh my army boy...he left for Basic Training at Fort Benning on July 5th. It felt so ridiculous, Independence Day was our last night together! I had work until late and he was spending the day at a family barbecue and watching fireworks. We eventually got to be together, the tension was a presence we both tried to ignore. Because we haven't been dating for very long...To be honest, July 30th will be our one month anniversary, so you do the math.

I met him over a year ago, we know each other through mutual friends, a couple who desperately tried to push us together through a series of awkward "double dates" that made it clear that Cory and I were NOT meant to be a couple. He was just so stand offish, I took it as him making it perfectly clear he wasn't interested in me. And at the time I felt like I could do better, I didn't have the patience to get to know him, much less the humility to pursue him myself. So I wrote him off, and every single time Kayla would say, "What about Cory?" I'd roll my eyes. 

Then I saw him at her graduation party, and I realized how handsome he is, how his seeming ignoring me is actually shyness. So I tested things out, sitting down next to him, hardly even flirting, just smiling, talking, accidentally on purpose hitting him in the pool...I then off handedly invited him to my own graduation party, "It's just next week...you should come,"

And he came. Oh, he came in his button up shirt and met everyone who matters to me. And everyone asking me who the heck is this kid? My friend had told me he planned to ask for my number, so I encouraged him of course, flirting, smiling, I don't know. And he made me wait for it, until finally everyone else was out of the room and he got up on the arm of the couch, said, "Um..." and fell over, I guess he was nervous! "Can I have your number?"

Would any red blooded American girl say no? I gave it to him.

That same night he texted, asking when we'd see each other again. And we planned our first date.

The next morning I got out a calender, and discovered that he would be leaving me in 22 days.

But I went on that date, and from then on we spent all the time we possibly could together. And we fell for each other. He was my first boyfriend, my first real kiss...he became my friend, my guy...and I tried to be rational, tried to force him into admitting that I shouldn't take this seriously, that he was only after one thing, and would forget me. He swore up and down, getting angry, that that isn't the case. That he couldn't possibly forget about me, that I wouldn't get out of it so easily. That leaving was hard for him, that he'd miss me, miss spending time with me...

For someone who started out practically silent, he sure said a lot of sweet, wonderful things. He said enough to make me promise, to myself, to wait for him, to wait for the letter that hasn't arrived yet!

I have so many "should haves" piled up I think I'm going crazy. I should have established some parameters...where are we going? Could this become marriage? What does he want from me? What do I want? What does he think? What do I think?

And the thing is I can't pick up a phone and call him with my worries, he's knee deep in Georgia dirt in his full military uniform getting yelled at with a gun in his hand and sweat dripping down his face...

Yeah, you're thinking, "Dear John" much? I'm getting a little tired of the reference too!

So I'm an army girlfriend, I NEVER meant for this to happen. But I really, really care about this boy. I want to make it work. I want him.
22days 22days
18-21
Jul 16, 2010