When He Isn't Writing You...

Cory, my boyfriend, left for Basic on July 5th. I haven't heard from him. I don't want to lose hope, I don't want to think he doesn't want me any longer, that this is his easy way of saying, you know what, let's not be with each other...He seemed like he wanted it to last, that he and I would be in this for the long haul. I knew it would be weeks before I heard from him. But I just talked to his dad, and they got a letter from him LAST WEEK. I don't know what to think about that. I don't know how I should feel. I feel like somehow along the road of our relationship I did something that has made him decide to end things.

Is it over?

22days 22days
5 Responses Jul 19, 2010

Do not fret too much. Upon arrival to the reception center, the military is indoctrinating you to their standards and time fr<x>ames and getting you used to being in the military. We were allowed a brief note home to indicate our safe arrival at the base. Our civilian clothes had to be passed in and uniforms were issued. Basically, they were taking away our freedom (not a negative comment) and getting us use to military rules, regulations and hours. When Basic Training began, there was no contact allowed and no weekend passes issued to get off base for the first six weeks and no calls for the first four weeks, unless there was an emergency. Mail in an out was slow, but did trickle in after a few weeks. Keep checking your mail, but the system is slow and the lack of communication is not intentional. Chin up!

Actually his dad is giving me his address, the thing is we weren't together very long before he left. His dad is an amazing person (though I've only met him once) and is so sweet, he wants to give me some labels he printed up with the address so I can save time! He even offered to get them to me at work, and all of this he did without my asking for the address. I'm doing well, I spent time with friends tonight, and I really appreciate finding this website and finding all of you amazing, supportive women! I know how strong our relationship can grow through this, and that's what I'm hoping and praying to happen.

Keep your chin up sweetheart! Try not to read too much into it. As one of the ladies has already said, the boys are usually given very, VERY little free time, though they are told to write to their parents to say that they are safe. Keep in mind, now matter how bad it is on our end ( and yes- its AWFUL sometimes) it is usually much worse on their end- especially in basic. Believe it or not, thinking of you is probably what is getting him through this hard time, and dreaming of you is probably the best part of his day- at least that is what my man told me after he got home. Just try to remember that he probably isn't ignoring you, he probably wants to write, but he is in a place where what he wants matters very little. If you are anxious, you could always ask his dad to give you his address, & write him an encouraging letting telling him how much you look forward to hearing from him.

No girly! Usually when they first get to basic, they send a letter to their parents to let them know that they arrived there safely. (Or at least last year when my guy went to basic that is what they did.) And it usually takes a while for letters to arrive anyways. I am sure you have nothing to worry about and that you'll get a letter soon! Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk!

Don't lose hope! He probably didn't have much personal time once he got to his barracks at basic. It's probably not because he doesn't want to be with you! Just give it time. "Hurry up and wait," is sort of a motto in the military. They aren't supposed to send letters until a certain point so maybe he just sneaked that letter by. Just stay positive and hold your head up and trust your relationship. We all know it is very difficult but he will be home before you know it! We are all here to talk if you need someone to lend an ear!<br />
I hope this helps!