Needing Advice

Hi!  This is only my second post on here, so i figured it might help if i start out with a little background about my bf and i...

We have been together for almost 4 years and we met while we were in college together.  All through school we were inseperable and we graduated together and then while he went to training at Fort Benning, I went to a job in Oklahoma.  We have managed to visit as often as we can and have stayed close and in love through everything.  He is now off to Germany and will deploy to afghanistan in 7 months and I'm off to grad school this fall.
 
Before he left the country, we got to visit one last time and had lots of deep conversations.  One was that neither one of us is quite ready to take the leap into marriage.  We ultimately decided that it might be best for us to take a break, but stay in touch while he is in Germany and see where things go, one day at a time.  He mainly thought this was the best idea because he has never had the chance to be truly on his own (his mom passed away when he was 7 and he was then raised by very strict and overbearing grandparents, a whole nother story in itself).  I completely understand this idea because I don't believe you can truly commit to someone unless you know and understand yourself and your own values first.  However, as soon as we have this discussion, he tells me that he loves me and wants to get married, settle down, and have kids when he gets back.  This is all very confusing to me because I love him with all my heart and just want him to be happy and make his deployment as easy for him as possible.  But, I don't understand how you can say you want to take a break and get married all at the same time.  I feel awful that I keep bringing this up to him because I always get upset, mostly because I feel like I don't truly understand what he wants.  Has anyone been in a situation like this or have any advice on how to handle it?  I've tried talking to friends and family about it, but they just don't seem to comprehend what is going on and I'm hoping there is someone out there that can help me work through it.
akorman12 akorman12
22-25, F
Jul 31, 2010