He Left A Week Ago...

It took a little while for me to come back on this site. I was in complete denial that he was leaving. I didn't want to face it...and it was hard reading all the stories you girls wrote and see how much pain everyone is going through. But at the same time, it's unavoidable at this point, and I'd rather have someone to talk to about it, than be alone. It's been a week and I'm devastated. I feel out of sorts just knowing he's so far away surrounded by danger.  I had a day or two where i got text messages because he wasn't in Kandahar yet. Now that he's there, I don't hear from him. I hope the days get easier and I will be able to smile more. I need to keep living...and be independent. After spending our last few days together, It just became so apparent how much I love him. He told me that he appreciates how strong I'm being throughout all this. I even learned a lot already from being in this long distance relationship for over a year. I don't take any small gesture from him for granted. He can do or say the most insignificant thing, and it still means the world to me. He always expresses to me how much he loves me.

I just want to be with him, and I can't.  I know the best things in life are worth waiting for. A year is just a year...and I know everything will be amazing once he's home for good.

I came to realize that even though this may be one of the hardest things for me to deal with, it is the most amazing, exciting, memorable experiences of his life. Sure it's scary at the same time, but he's out there doing what he was trained to do. He worked so hard, and I'm so happy that he is finally using his knowledge. ..............................................

I'm just exhausted I just don't even know what to say anymore...my heart hurts. 
alliej05 alliej05
22-25, F
Aug 2, 2010