Do I Tell Him?

So last night i was hanging out with some friends and when we got home one of my guy friends that my bf hates started trying to do stuff with me. He had been drinking a lot and he was like rubbing my leg and he kept grabbing my hand and then all of a sudden he started kissing my neck and stuff. I told him no and to leave me alone but after that I just got really upset. And the thing is my bf was really stressing before he left that this guy would try something on me. And he did. So do i tell him? I don't want him to stress out and be worried and distracted while he is in training, but I want to tell him what happened. And I don't want to tell him in a letter because it will take too long to get a response from him and I know that will really stress him out. And I don't really want to waste our 5 minute phone call on Sunday talking about this. So what do I do? I know nothing really happened but what happened was too much and he does need to know eventually,because we don't keep anything from each other. So help please!! What would you girls do?
ilovemyarmyhero ilovemyarmyhero
18-21, F
9 Responses Aug 7, 2010

and by the way i did tell him and even though he was upset and angry (not at me, but at the guy) he said he was glad that i had told him now instead of waiting. again, thank you everyone who gave me good advice, it really helped.

the only reason i was with that guy was because he is my best friends friend and he happened to be there. and i was not drinking and "partying it up." and i would never try to "make him jealous in my own immature way." that is just plain rude. and i am serious about being with him. we are getting married the end of this year. and he is only in training he is not deployed right now. and i respect him so much you have no idea. you had no right to say those things to me. and thank you everyone else for being supportive and actually giving me good advice and not judging me for something you know nothing about

I would wait until a time he is not so far away, and avoid this other guy like the plague. Sorry if that messes things up, but clearly you can't trust the other guy. He already tried something once so if it happens again, and you had knowingly hung out with him it is your fault. Other than that some things are better left for after deployment. It is hard enough that they miss us and stress about things. I am never one to say be dishonest with him, so if he asks you straight out if something like this happened, I would fess up and just tell him you have stopped chilling with the other guy, and figured it was not worth it to stress him out. Honestly all he will do is obssess about how he cannot do anything to keep the other guy off of you. Good luck

I would really like to know why your hanging out with this guy if your boyfriend felt that he was going to try to hit on you anyway? NO you dont tell him while he is deployed unless your trying to make him jealous in your own immature way. You dont realize what your boyfriend is going through while deployed. You think you know but you have NO idea, then you want to tell him this?? This is the last thing he needs to hear about. If you love him you will respect him WHILE he is gone, if you cant do that you dont need to be with him. Seriously. Maybe this was a lesson for you to learn. Don't tell him, please wait until he gets home if you last that long together because seriously the rate your going it does not sound like your serious about wanting to be with him if your going to party it up like that while he is gone....I'm just sayin....

From a guys perspective. Tell him. To not waste your call write a letter and explain it in there. Let him know that the letter is comming and it has some important stuff you needed to tell him.<br />
Since he is in training he can work off the stress during his PT and combat exercises. His trust in you should go up since you rejected the advances. <br />
<br />
Also what drewsmith said. He comes from the infantry side so heed his words as well.

I have so many things to tell my bf, and not wanting to stress him at basic, Im waiting... but if something like that happened I know he would want to know. I know what you mean about using up your call. theres never enough time to say everything, but If I were in your shoes I'd tell my bf. It would be worth a phone call or wating on a letter to get it off your chest.

Definetly tell him because even though he may get upset, you dont want him to find out about it later and think you were keeping it from him.

tell him and let him know you dont want to stress him but its important he knows what occured. Honesty is best.

If it were me, I would tell him. I mean, yeah he's gonna be upset but as long as you keep your cool about it and explain it to him, I'm sure he would get it. You don't want him to find out way later cause then he would think you're keeping things from him when you just don't want to stress him out and blow it way out of proportion. If you two have an open communication with each other, it makes everything better. I tell my boyfriend things that sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have while he's away but I felt so much better afterwards and it never turned out as bad as I thought I would. <br />
<br />
Just be open with him. It would probably stress him a little bit knowing that you were hanging out with him but if you just explain everything clearly and tell him what you're gonna do about it, I think he would understand.