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Love Has No Boundaries, No Barriers, No Distance

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost eight months. Five of those eight months have seen our relationship defying normal standards of love. My boyfriend is in the army and I am a freshman at college in a sorority. Seemingly these two identities cannot coexist. I am supposed to be busy spending my days concentrating on studying and my nights worrilessly partying; he is supposed to be valiently focused on only his training while spending his time off living out his youth, drinking too much and approaching love wrecklessly. We are not like these stereotypes though. Not at all. We never have been. We never will be.

I've always been way too obsessed with love. I'd give anyone a chance as long as they could make me laugh or think. To give you an idea of what I'm getting at, when I first met my boyfriend Zach, I was in a relationship with a former drug dealer, current pothead, and constant failure that went to the local community college. I spent way too much time on him because I thought there was more to him than his destructive habits. I wanted to save him from himself. Not surprisingly, I didn't. I was always trying to force someone into some glamourous role in an excessively elaborate story that I'd construct in my mind. Although I didn't realize it at the time, Zach was the first person I'd ever met that I didn't have to endow with the qualities I wanted. He had them on his own.

I met him at a mutual friend's birthday party where he was pretending to be an announcer of an ongoing game of beer pong. He was so silly. He made me laugh so effortlessly. It was easy to talk to him. It was the perfect first encounter. I didn't think anything of it. The next day, he signed his contract for a commitment of six years to the United States Army.

As I became closer to his tightknit group of friends, me and Zach began meeting on random occasions. Then the meetings became planned. His persistance was unfaltering. Not long after, I broke up with my waste of a boyfriend because it was becoming impossible to pretend it was what I wanted when it was easy to see I had just found it. We started dating a week before senior prom even though we already had dates and other obligations. Zach and I always ignored obstructions like that. We fell in love even though he'd ship out for basic training in less than three months.

The time we spent together before he left was amazing. It'd be impossible to describe the impact it made on me. Zach shook my world up. He took all my preconceived ideas on love and shattered them. I was scared out of my mind. He created that fear and also absolved it. Loving him was never an option. He made sure of that. Not forcefully, but gently. I didn't stand a chance.

That is our past. This is our present. Less than twelve hours ago, Zach just left our hometown to go back to Fort Gordon. He had been home on leave for two weeks. I feel like I'll never adjust to the changing roles I have to play across changing distances. I'm the rock he depends on, I'm the scapegoat of the regret of a lost carefree youth, I'm the cause of added stress, I'm the love of his life.

I suppose every relationship struggles with this constant changing, but I feel like ours is so much harder. How many people in love have had to write letters to each other for two months as the only source of contact? That was our two months while he was in basic. Now that he's in AIT, we have more luxeries, but we still miss out on so much that couples take for granted. While my friends plan out intimate and romantic dates with their boyfriends, I charge my phone to talk on the phone with mine. While others can rely on a quiet night in with their love after a bad day, I learn to hit the gym or read a good book. I can't talk to him whenever I want. I can't hold him whenever I need him. I can't kiss him. I can't hug him. I can't even hold his hand. Despite how strongly I feel connected to him by my immeasurable love, I am alone in actuality. It's the loneliest kind of love possible.

I know I'm young, but I know I will never love anybody the way I love him. I feel like I'm nothing without him. My life is tied to my love.

Having an army boyfriend is impossibly difficult to face. If anybody feels the way I do, in the slightest way, I am here for you. It's one of the situations that is only understandable through experience. I am so glad I've found a place to share it. I'd love to hear your story too. =)
ClareTheresa ClareTheresa 22-25, F 94 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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that's how i felt right now.. i cried a lot last night, because i thought that i was just his past time.. actually, we met if we have a spare time to each other, but if we can't i always keep on touch with him.. he said that "he loves me" but most of the time i'm with him, he lot of text mate that he entertain and i felt like i was just a dummy on his side..

i am still enduring this situation for me to overcome this circumstances that we had.. i am still hoping that it will work out into good.

I'm going through the same thing also. It's so hard, but we all have to hang in there and have faith that things will get better.

I see that your post is from quite a while ago. I'm going through a very similar situation now, but my relationship didn't start until after he was stationed in Korea for a year. He's half way through, mind I ask how your relationship is going?

Wow your story is amazing. I can relate to that in sooo many ways. My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months and he just enlisted a few weeks ago. Like you, I have always been that person to try and see the best in people, not even noticing that some of those relationships were toxic. Thank you for sharing your story. Now I don't feel so alone in the world. :)

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months, going on 6. We've known each other for 9 years. It's not the easiest thing to take on and I'm glad I found somewhere where people can relate. ❤

OMG finally I feel slight relief. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months but we met in college so I have known him about 5 years now. He is leaving to go to a training for four months then coming back home, but may possibly leave again for six months. I dont know what to do or how to feel. Im lost without him and he is not only my boyfriend but my bestfriend. I am sad because I have to go on as if it doesnt bother me when truth is I have been stressing over it the last four months. He leaves in two weeks so now I really feel the depression has set in

Finally...i dnt feel like im alone... Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We are both seniors in high school so he hasn't left for basic training yet...but im so scared. I've had countless sleepless nights..I've cried so many times. It would be really awesome to have someone to talk to who understands my situation...

Reading all of these stories make me feel so much better about my situation...but they are also good preparation for the future. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months, and his past is not one that has a lot of happy moments in it, but he's been stationed close by to my college for about 4 months now and he loves it here. Being a college freshman i was "supposed" to start dating someone in my classes and hangout in dorm rooms, go to football games, etc... but now i'm finding myself taking train rides or cabs to base so I can spend my weekends with him while we're both so busy during the week. it's hard explaining all of this to my friends who don't understand the military and have all these preconceived notions about guys who are in the military, and it breaks my heart that they are so wary about giving him a chance. I love Nick and for some reason he loves me too, and that makes all the difference in the world. I can't imagine him getting deployed, but when that time comes I know I'll be as supportive as possible for the future he's creating for himself. I'm scared of loosing him to the military though, i'm scared of what all of this pressure might do to him and if he will change because of it. He talks about defending our country and the people he loves, but I still struggle with the idea of him killing someone. I'm so proud of everything he's accomplished, the rank he has, and the plans he hopes to achieve, but it's hard sometimes feeling like I come in second place.

I feel like I can't call myself an "Army Girlfriend" because I've only been with my boyfriend for a total of about 6 months, and he hasn't been deployed yet. Also, he was already in the military when we met.

However, the struggles are still very real. My boyfriend is in Special Forces medic training and it is extremely time consuming and intense. I am also a freshman in college, so we only get to see each other on the weekends and holidays, IF that. I know that not getting to talk to him much during the week or seeing him on only the weekend doesn't compare to the fear of girls whose men are on deployment and face peril every waking moment, but it's still hard. And its even harder to think that it might be me sooner than I am ready to acknowledge. I feel very empty when he leaves me Sunday evening. And talking about the future is hard. I like to pretend we are both keeping it light and going with the flow, but I am very much in love with him and I know that he loves me too. I can't imagine what I will do once he graduates. I am extremely proud of him, so much that it makes my heart ache. But I'm also terrified for him.

It never gets easier, we just learn to cope better. So what are some coping strategies you girls have found?

I am in a very similar situation. My boyfriend and I were together for about a year before he left. He told me he was joining the Army the night after I graduated high school. I will never forget it. A couple months after, I went to college and the next March, he left for combined basic training and AIT for 4 months... it was so hard but 4 months doesn't seem so long now that I'm about to face a 9 month deployment in March. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world.. I'm really scared for his deployment but right now I'm just focusing on seeing him at Thanksgiving... hopefully :(

I know just how you feel! My boyfriend of about 10 months was gone for a month, came home for three days and is gone again for another two weeks. I am also a freshman in college and my boyfriend is starting his last year in school. After he graduates he will be going into active duty. He wants to make a career out of the army. <br />
I've been known to be able to handle the long distance so far but lately it has been getting harder. I try my best to let my boyfriend know I am doing just fine, but it gets so hard at times. I will never admit that to him though, I don't want him worrying while he's gone. It is nice to know I have someone going through the same situation, all we can do is stay strong.

beyond just inspiring! reading this really makes me feel lucky to have the man i have. i've always been proud to say im an Army girlfriend, or at the time future soldier girlfriend, but now im looking at things completely different. this is an amazing story. good luck with everything. our stories are similar and reading this made my day :) so thank you

Your story was very moving, i know how you feel because i have a similar one. my boyfriend and i have been dating over a year and 7 months into the relationship he signed on with the army, and one month ago a day after our 1 yr ann. he left for basic.we are high school sweethearts and i will be a freshman in college this fall. people dont really know that the kind of love we have for our boyfriends are different,equally loving but 50 times more challenging. i hope things worked out for you and i wish the same for myself. thanks for your inspiring story

This story is so perfect for just about any military relationship. We go through so much to be with the ones that we love. While "normal" relationships cherish the time they get to be alone we cherish every second we get to spend with our soldiers.

This is incredible. I hope you're in school for some sort of English or writing degree! we sound like we have a lot in common. I did the same thing wasting my time on potheads I thought I could fix with a little TLC. Wrong. They're usually douchebags for a reason. This is the first time I've ever been on this site, I just googled it and your story was the first one I read. My boyfriend of over two years and I are graduating in about a month, then he's shipping off to basic and following the career of an Airborne Ranger in October. It'd be great if we could connect in some way, if anything for moral support :)

I did not expect to find someones story so incredibly close to the one my boyfriend and I share. I can't express how everything you have said hit home... its so weird to think that I'm not alone in the world of being an ARMY girlfriend, since none of my friends at home really have any clue what I'm struggling with. The incredible highs I get from the love my boyfriend has for me but also the lows that I face everyday of missing him and longing to be by his side. <br />
<br />
I too had the drug dealer boyfriend, that I thought I could change, but recently just got out of jail. I am going to soon be a freshman in college. I know the struggles of down time to read, workout, take naps, and wait for a moment when he can call, or we can have a short Skype date, even though 8 other guys are in the room... I know the crying myself to sleep and worrying about everything possible that could happen to him. I've heard the stories of his friends cheating and believing with everything in me that he would never do that... I have recently had to accept the fact that he will be deployed in just a few months... I actually would love to talk more with you? Your story really hits home.

My story is so similar! My last boyfriend was someone who was hopelessly addicted to many things, yet I wanted so badly to "fix" him and bring out the good that I "knew" was there. Huge waste of time. Then I met my soldier. When there was nothing about him that needed fixing and I didn't have to beg him to stay sober for just one night, I was shocked. It is so amazing when you find a good man! I love him with all my heart! Good luck girl!

This is well-written and honest.<br />
I'm just an airman's girlfriend but I understand what you mean.<br />
People don't understand how different it is. :/<br />
You just deal with it. It's not a choice. It's not a burden. It's just something you MUST do.

Your story makes me feel so much better because of you can do it I know I can. I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend is being deployed to afghanistan sometime around April. It's so hard for me cause I see couples at my school so happy and in love. It makes me feel so lonely like I have no one & everyone tells me "aren't you scared", "I don't know how you can do it" It just makes me feel weak when I hear it. I wish that someday I could be okay enough not cry every time I think about him leaving me.

Wow, I am speechless. I really don't think I could have said this any better myself. Me and my boyfriend met the summer before my junior year of high school and he very quickly swept me off my feet. We became inseparable. We spent two straight years together falling even more in love with each other, but come the end of the summer after my senior year we were put to the ultimate test as far as I can see it. What to do now? I would be leaving for college 5 hours from our home town and two months later he was leaving for basic training. We knew it would be hard, but we also both knew it would be worth it if we kept ourselves together and mustered through. He left for basic in October and we, like you guys, could only communicate through written letters. I would check my mail box EVERY day and when those letters came those were the best days. It really helped me to appreciate the simple things we used to so often take for granted. He got his phone here and there for fifteen, twenty minutes at a time every couple of weeks and I really learned how much I appreciated just hearing him say I love you out loud. I saw him for a week and a half over Christmas break because they were given Exodus and saying good bye all over again was the hardest thing I had to do. With a month and a half left of training we were back to letters.<br />
My boyfriend graduates from basic training this Thursday and I finally get to go see him. All that separates us now is 3 days and a twenty hour car ride.<br />
Being the girlfriend of an army infantryman has been a roller coaster ride thus far, but hearing stories like yours are so uplifting. I know that Im not alone in these feelings. <br />
Seeing couples walking around holding hands on campus, or hearing about my friends date nights isn't always easy.. but we will just have to make things work our own way.<br />
We already have Valentines Day planned out. A movie date and hot chocolate on skype :) haha. Most of my friends think it's cheesy, but im sure you guys would understand.. I almost have to say that I enjoy the freshness of making things work our own way. Keeping our love alive on completely different sides of the country.<br />
The girlfriends of soldiers don't get enough credit in my opinion, so to those of you who are fighting this battle I want to say congratulations. The rewards truly are great<3

I just wanted to say that while I was reading this I thought you might have been talking about my life! I am now dating a soldier, he is in the middle of basic and before I met him I was with a drug addict, thought I was good for him and that I can change him. Like you said that wasn't the case! I finally realized he wasn't the one for me and I left him. A few months later I was at my best friends birthday party and her boyfriends friend was there, now he's my boyfriend and we've been together for a little over a year. I haven't talked to him since January 8th and miss him like crazy, I have gotten letters but there is nothing like being able to hear his voice and hold him. It's so crazy how similar our stories are, just thought i'd share!

Your story is very similar to mine, I always picked the bad boy to date, but after my last terrible break up I didn't want to date anymore but my friend convinced me that there is a guy out there so she and I decided to do online dating and I met my soldier online. I was in love with him after a very short time, although I've never actually been able to kiss my soldier but he comes home in May and I can't wait. We have been happily together for 4 months now, he keeps my picture in his pocket and his picture is on my phone, we are always together no matter the distance!

This paragraph from your story:<br />
<br />
<br />
"I suppose every relationship struggles with this constant changing, but I feel like ours is so much harder. How many people in love have had to write letters to each other for two months as the only source of contact? That was our two months while he was in basic. Now that he's in AIT, we have more luxeries, but we still miss out on so much that couples take for granted. While my friends plan out intimate and romantic dates with their boyfriends, I charge my phone to talk on the phone with mine. While others can rely on a quiet night in with their love after a bad day, I learn to hit the gym or read a good book. I can't talk to him whenever I want. I can't hold him whenever I need him. I can't kiss him. I can't hug him. I can't even hold his hand. Despite how strongly I feel connected to him by my immeasurable love, I am alone in actuality. It's the loneliest kind of love possible."<br />
<br />
is absolute perfection. I totally agree and empathize 110%

Thank you so much for posting this. First of all, you are a phenomenal writer. Your word choice and writing stye is absolutely captivating. Second, you perfectly described exactly how I feel about my boyfriend Justin. He's serving 3 years, and it will be 1 year since he left in a few weeks. Maybe it's because i'm new to these support groups, but I guess I didn't know that the way I'm feeling, and have been feeling the past year, is normal. Just knowing that there is at least someone who understands how I feel makes me feel a lot less alone.

YOU ARE Sweet. <br />
I dont know what your beliefs are but god will surely be taking care of you and your boyfriend. Dont forget your own words because i am 110 percent sure everyone who has made a comment here has felt the same way you have. You inspire lots of ppl.<br />
KEEP writing! (about your love, or best date with him or the best letter and all that stuff) you are really good at it! it might help you get your mind of the "day by day" without him and it might help some of us get distracted from our "day by day" with out him. :D <br />
Stay Strong.

Ive been in the army since 01 been married since 05 , 06-07 deployed ,08-10,drill sgt time you will not always have ample time to spend with your soldier and you two will miss each other allot ,your story is very nice to read and gives me hope for humanity keep on loveing cause its all we have <br />
<br />
take care ,<br />
Some guy

I am new to this site, I actually just found it while I was looking at civilian jobs. My bf and best friend of 10 months is leaving for basic training and AIT in November. I am scared out of my mind! We have been part long distance because I am away at school, but being only 4hrs away we get to see each other a lot. I feel kind of alone because I feel like none of my friends or family have any idea what I'm about to go through. I am really glad I found this site! :)

I always tell my boyfriend that the time apart is a small price to pay for what will be when he gets back. Months apart is not much if we will spend a lifetime together.

I loved your story. And you are a great writer! Everything is so true. And I know all the other army girlfriends will agree with me when I say I hate when girls cry cause they haven't seen their boyfriends in a week. We barley get to see ours, yet you don't see us complaining about it all day every day. Us girls gotta stick together.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, and I'm only 16 and he's 18. I'm just starting 11th grade and he decides to go into National Guard so he can earn the income to buy me the luxuries he wants for us in the future: A big house in the country and an artist studio for me. He's told me all the time how much he loves me and he clearly wants to spoil me. Before he graduated highschool, he even said that my class ring would be replaced by his ring to me someday. Of course happy moments like that keep me in a good mood for at least a week or two. But if he gets accepted into National Guard (and he was born with only 1 kidney) it will worry me. Problem is, he said he would call me Sunday, which was yesterday, and tell me if he got in or not. It's now the next day, and he hasn't called me! <br />
How do I know if he made it or not? If he did, I won't know where he is, I can't call him, and I won't see him for 9 weeks! Our 1-year anniversary comes into play somewhere in those nine weeks and now I really don't know what to do.<br />
My friends are the only ones to keep me from thinking about him but school stress as a junior could really pack on the worries.<br />
Does anybody know how to deal with all of this?

I loved the story.. I am new to this site and also to the army girlfriend life...I have some questions that I would like to ask...if it is no problem...please email me if you would like to chat =)

That's exactly how I've been feeling and no one has understood it all. I would die if it weren't for skype, because then we can still see each other's face.

Good story!

Our stories are strikingly almost the same. I was with an ex-drug dealer/ pothead. But we had broken up months before I met my boyfriend. I am so glad that I found this website. Just being able to read other stories gives me some comfort and hope.

wow i decided to join this site and right when i started reading your story it is the story of my life mindless my ex was way different, this actually made me cry i am glad there are actually other people out there just like me...

girl you are good. <br />
this is probably one of best written stories i've seen on here. <br />
& what a BEAUTIFUL one at that!<br />
the way you intricately and so plainly but magnificently describe the love you have for your boyfriend, & the love he has for you… it's… WOW!<br />
& I FEEL YOU on the charging your phone to talk to him, learning to go the gym READ A GOOD BOOK-i don't remember the last time i made time to finish a book in one week outside of school. <br />
hahaha oh man, you are an exquisite writer, thank you SO MUCH for sharing!<br />
praying that all goes well!<br />
from the look of it, everything will be just fine:)<br />
thanks again!

try him being deployed...i felt this way, and so did he, and now he is completely shutting me out

My boyfriend and i have only been together for four months and he leaves at the end of august for basic. I struggled for months to decide to wait for him, and at this point I just realized that I can no longer picture my future without him and that this is forever. I am a sophomore in college and this first separation is going to be hard on both of us but we are determined to make it work. My boyfriend and I went to high school together but each fell into a serious three year relationship with someone else that left both of us broken hearted and scared to try again. As hard as I tried to disregard our relationship as a summer romance to avoid getting hurt, I can't. He is the only person I've ever known that can break down my fears and reassure me in every way possible. He has shown me how love can feel, and I don't ever want to let this go. I am terrified of the separation but I want to do everything I can to support him. Any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated, and I am so glad I found people who are dealing with the same situation.<br />
<br />
A

We have been together for a month. We have known each other for a year. He deploys overseas in a month and has spent the last three weeks doing final training in the states.<br />
<br />
I met Dillon through an old boyfriend. We all used to party together. The boyfriend ceased to be, and Dill and I kept talking. I then got with an ex-junkie that claimed me to be his anti-drug and he was going to move me out of our hometown like I wanted. He was very dramatic and controlled my free spirit as much as he could, and I just kind of took it because I knew he would get me out of town, and once out, I would be able to stand on my own two feet. This relationship went on for nine months. Every time he tried to kick me out and make me feel like ****, Dill was there. I cannot count how many nights I spent texting or on a drive crying about how all I wanted to do was leave town and I couldn't do it alone, but I didn't feel like I could do it with this guy. Dill then finds out in January (during a good time in my relationship) that he's deploying in May. We keep talking of hanging out and spending a ton of time together before he leaves. We go to a party one night and I tell him to write me (he had no girlfriend to write). He asks me what the boyfriend would think and I told him he can take a leap and he needed me more. Dill smiled and told me to watch myself but he would totally write. March comes around, he turns 21 we spend a couple nights dancing at the bar, nothing huge. April rolls around, things get bad in my relationship and it suddenly hits me I'm loosing Dill in a month. <br />
<br />
The boyfriend mad, and he tells me he's not leaving town and that he already told the roommate we were going to have up there that he wasn't leaving, and that he was done with me. And I do what I always do, call Dill hysterical about the latest piece of crap situation I got myself into, and he tells me to crunch the numbers and try to do it on my own. Sure enough, I can do it. Within one week I was lined up to sign a lease an hour away from home. Dill and I become inseparable with my new found freedom. I tell him as a thank you for everything he's done for me that until he gets his affairs in order after deployment, he can stay at my place if he wants to end up in the area. All of a sudden, I'm showing up at his aunt's going away party for him and we start talking about a relationship when he gets back. I lay there one night thinking about everything those couple weeks had brought us through and realized one thing: as my life was falling apart around me and I was scared and angry and hurt, he was there, even when it wasn't because of him that I felt these things. That, even though we were both crazy (we liked to go to clubbing and dance on poles together) that we did okay and that I could depend on him, and that now, it was my turn. After everything he had done for me and helped me through, he needed me to be that person, and he didn't even ask it of me once. I drove him up to the closest ba<x>se for his two week training and when he got his two day pass, we decided to make it official. <br />
<br />
He's now on a 45 day training before he goes overseas. The transition has been hard on both of us. Since he has been gone I have moved an hour away from both our families and am living in a new city alone, and working fulltime to pay the bills. He still has his phone so we can text and I get a phone call every couple days, and slowly, it starts sinking in the journey I'm about to embark on, and it's scary. But everyday is a countdown until I see him again. He's already planning everything we are going to do when he gets his five day pass. At first we thought he was going to have to say within fifty miles of where they released him, but we just found out he gets to move up here, so he gets to see my apartment!

Thank you so much for your story! My bf hasn't left yet and I can already relate so much. If you ever need to talk/vent feel free to email. I'll be in your same position in 15 short weeks.

I believe wholeheartedly that love can indeed overcome all obstacles. My Army man is currently living in Louisiana while I am in VA. I've known him for 8 years, but haven't seen him in over 4. We dated in middle school, then he moved, and we reconnected recently. And even though I have yet to see him, our connection is stronger than anyone I've ever been with. I am right there with you with trying to "save" guys I've dated. Especially my ex. he cheated on me and was a compulsive liar, alcoholic, and i stayed with him for an additional 6 months after learning all this, lying to myself and others saying there was a "heart" in there somewhere and he would change. Needless to say, that didn't happen and my Army man actually was the one who saved me from that. He is indeed my best friend, and I believe he is my soul mate.The distance doesn't challenges us, although it is a major inconvenience. We can deal with it,since we've always managed to have a long distance relationship, and I'm looking at a grad school in LA so I can be with him after he completes his deployment, which will begin Jan/Feb of 2012. My favorite part about him is where I don't have to make up better qualities in my head to deal with it. He is perfect, all on his own, without my help or imagination. And knowing that I wont just wake up one day and see everything for what it really is, is such a relief.

My boyfriend just left yesterday for his BCT. Im already missing him crazy. if you dont mind I'd like to talk more. And hear how you made it through his absence while at training. Message me sometime if you'd like. best wishes to you and your soldier. God Bless.

My boyfriend left for OSUT ten days ago.. let me tell you, these are so far some of the hardest days of my life. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 years and we spent every waking morning with eachother, and now all of a sudden he is just gone.. It breaks my heart to know that i will not see him for another 14 weeks, but i know that my love for him will get me through this;

Hi, my name is Adriana, and I can relate a lot with you... I am a sorority girl too, I am a sophomore almost a junior in college, and my high school sweetheart is a military man. I came to this website to find some support, because 'normal' couples just cant get it. I have had some of my friends complain that they havent seen their bfs in 2 days... and its like, women, I havent seen mine for 4 months! But yeah, I read your story, and I was so happy that I was not the only one... You finally make me feel connected to another couple. For that I thank you.

I totally understand what you are talking about. I met my boyfriend on New Year's eve 2009. He's stationed in GA and I went to graduate school there. In May of last year (2010) I graduated and moved back home to NY. It was tough leaving him behind, but he was also set to deploy in a few months after I left. It is really hard being so far away from each other, especially because we met so far away from where each of us are from. He's from Illinois and I'm from New York, that especially makes his R&R hard. But we worked it out, he flew me to his hometown so he could be with me and his family at the same time. It was so nice to meet everyone, and spend the entire leave with him, yet it was so hard to leave him again.<br />
<br />
I completely agree when you said that "normal couples" take things for granted, it's very true. We don't get to talk very often, with our schedules and the time difference (maybe once or twice a week, and usually fb chat). I truely miss the little things: holding his hand, kissing him, hugging him, among other things.<br />
<br />
It takes a lot of strength to do what we do, as Army girlfriends, fiancees, and wives. While I am somewhat new to the Army / deployment thing myself, I am here if anyone needs to talk. : )

I totally understand what you are talking about. I met my boyfriend on New Year's eve 2009. He's stationed in GA and I went to graduate school there. In May of last year (2010) I graduated and moved back home to NY. It was tough leaving him behind, but he was also set to deploy in a few months after I left. It is really hard being so far away from each other, especially because we met so far away from where each of us are from. He's from Illinois and I'm from New York, that especially makes his R&R hard. But we worked it out, he flew me to his hometown so he could be with me and his family at the same time. It was so nice to meet everyone, and spend the entire leave with him, yet it was so hard to leave him again.<br />
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I completely agree when you said that "normal couples" take things for granted, it's very true. We don't get to talk very often, with our schedules and the time difference (maybe once or twice a week, and usually fb chat). I truely miss the little things: holding his hand, kissing him, hugging him, among other things.<br />
<br />
It takes a lot of strength to do what we do, as Army girlfriends, fiancees, and wives. While I am somewhat new to the Army / deployment thing myself, I am here if anyone needs to talk. : )

I just joined experience project and this was the first article i read and it brought me to tears. Well written and wonderfully expresses.

I am a new army girlfriend of about 2 and a half months now. Only two weeks of which i got to spend with him. But those were the best two weeks of my life. I wouldn't trade the life that we have for anything. Your story was very touching and heartfelt. You described what it was like to be an army girlfriend exactly!

I am new to this website but your story really touched me as I have been searching for support to help me get through the loneliness of dealing with my boyfriend in basic. He warned me how hard it would be and thought I could get through it, be tough, not cry but that is not true. When you go from talking to someone all day everyday and seeing them all the time to nothing, it's like a dagger to the heart. I hope secretely one day I will get a text from him saying hey they let me use my phone for the day or take a little vacation, but I know it is not true. He will only be gone 2 months and then 2 more for AIT but it seems like forever. We are a fairly new relationship still in that puppy dog stage, but we love each other more than anything. I have talked to him once so far when they let him use the phone for 5 min, but it seems like all I do now is sit around and wait for his call while everyone else is going out having fun. I am committed to this every step of the way and know it will help us in the long run, I just wish it was easier. Just looking forward to that day he comes home and into my arms. Thanks for the support.

i'm new at this sight and something about your blog caught my eye, i was in a very abusive relationship with my sons dad when i met my boyfriend now chris, Chris was leaving in 2 weeks for basic in kentucky but i knew i wanted to be with him more than anything in the world.. basic was very hard i know exactly how you feel.. being at home just to wait for the mail to come to see if he sent a letter? or having your phone in your hand 24/7 and right next to your ear when sleeping at night just incase he can make a call.. i've been with chris now for a little over 2 years and we have had so much to deal with in life, when it came to AIT yes they get a little bit more of what they call "freedom".. by being able to call and talk to you more instead of a letter.. but as you may maybe know.. you can only talk so much before you run out of things to talk about, Chris is going to be signing up again his plan is to retire from the ARMY but here's a big catch.. I'm pregnant with our daughter my 2nd child and his 1st... it's very difficult and has made things hard and very stressful in our relationship.. i know how you feel i wish girls would understand a little bit more like you do?

I am sobbing right now ! I'm 19 and my boyfriend just left to basic. We met 5 months ago at a friend's party also. I had recently just broken up with my exboyfriend. We have been together everyday since then I never thought it would have been this hard! I dont know when im going to get the next letter or when i can hear his voice again. Your story is so similar to mine, thank you for posting this !

I am sobbing right now ! I'm 19 and my boyfriend just left to basic. We met 5 months ago at a friend's party also. I had recently just broken up with my exboyfriend. We have been together everyday since then I never thought it would have been this hard! I dont know when im going to get the next letter or when i can hear his voice again. Your story is so similar to mine, thank you for posting this !

Hey as i read your story its like im reading my own life. my boyfirend, well now finance, was just home on holiday block leave for 19 days then he went back to Fort Benning were his Basic Training was. I even went down with his parents to watch him graduate. Then we drove him to Fort Gordon for his AIT. He will be there till the middle of june. Before my finance left he was my entire life....we spent every single day together. It was the happiest i have ever been. The two months that he was gone every place i went i wished that he was there with me. It was like my best friend was just taken away from me and all i wanted was him back. Then he came home for the holidays and we got engaged.,. then all the pressures started to way in my mind. DId i truly love him enough to get married, what if i didnt feel the same when he got back, what if i didnt reconized him ne more (Cuz i really didnt with his hair being cut soo short i didnt really have time to adjust to it.). Also the part that kinda scared me the most was that he was the one person that i could just tell everything to even if it was just about my day and now i feel like thats kinda lost since i dont get to see him every day. So now i have this anxiety i carry around with me everywhere...everytime i think about him or talk to him i sit there and try to make myself feel the way he did beofre he left and i know that things cant go back to the way things were but i miss those times so much, I miss how we used to be together...unseparatable and now we are always separte its a big adjustment and i did handle it the right way... But my hope is that when he gets home that we rekindle our love and make it stronger but untill then im just stuck here worrying and questioning everything...cuz ill be like that for the next six months that he is away. I dont know if this is normal or not but everytime i know that he will get to call or video chat i get so anxious and nervous cause my feelings are so out of wack these days. It doesnt help that im only 17 years old and still in high school trying to figure all this stuff out. So i hope that you and him make it though this time in yuor lives cause they tell me if the relationship can last though this then you guys will be able to make it though basically anything.

"I can't talk to him whenever I want. I can't hold him whenever I need him. I can't kiss him. I can't hug him. I can't even hold his hand. Despite how strongly I feel connected to him by my immeasurable love, I am alone in actuality. It's the loneliest kind of love possible."<br />
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This part is what stood out to me. Being a female in the Army and seeing it from a different angle, I can say we (those of us who are in) feel the same way. Talking with my fellow soldiers and officers you learn the different love stories. To all of you i say STAY STRONG. There is nothing like that support of someones love back home. For us who are in, it is a GREAT fear to ever receive a letter saying i can't take it anymore I want out.<br />
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I commend each of you for your sacrifice and your service. I too miss not being able to see my boyfriend. To kiss him or just be held or even hold him. Enjoy your moments with him. He knows it hurts. It's ok to let him know, but try not and dwell on it. We want to keep our military HIGHLY MOITIVATED. HHHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO EVERYONE, MY BOYFRIEND JUST LEFT FOR HIS A.I.T IN THE ARMY LAST SUNDAY. I AM GOING TO HIS GRADUATION NEXT MONTH AND I CAN'T WAIT. I AM JUST HERE TO ENCOUARAGE ALL THOSE ARMY GIRLFRIENDS OUT THERE. DO NOT BE AFRAID BECAUSE GOD IS IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING IN OUR LIVES. GOD IS STILL WITH US EVEN WHEN OUR SOLDIERS LEAVE TO GO AND FIGHT FOR OUR COUNRTY. GOD WILL NEVER GIVE US ANYTHING THAT WE CANNOT HANDLE AND GOD WILL NOT LEAVE US ALL ALONE. PUT ALL YOUR FOCUS AND HEART TOWARDS GOD BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH WITH THE SACRAFICES OF BEING AN ARMY GIRLFRIEND.<br />
ARMY GIRLFRIEND......CHERRYANN

Your story instantly made me think of my life. I have liked this guy named CJ since 9th grade and i am now a SR in high school. We are talking and are gonna possibly date soon. He inlisted into the army about 8 months ago and will be going to basic in June after graduation. I love him with all of my heart and im gonna be in the same position as you i will be a freshmen in college when he is in basic. Its gonna be so hard not being 5 1/2 hrs away from him and only being able to write letters and not get to do the normal things like go on dates and things like that but i think its worth it because ive never felt like this about ne one in my entire life.

I met my boyfriend when I was a senior in highschool ast a mutual friend's party. He is a couple years older than me, but we got along perfectly. Now I am a freshman in college and he is at Fort Benning preparing for his second tour of Afghanistan. I agreed with everything you said! It's hard when I want to talk to him and I can't, and the lonliness can be so awful! He means the world to me and I can't wait for his next two week break before deployment. I understand completely with you on everything. It's nice to know their are other girls in college going through the same thing.

My boyfriend and I just started dating in September so we have only been together for two months. We me in High School and we have been very close friends since. Through everything he was always there we have always kept in touch. While he was in Cuba we talk, while he was in Spain we talked, while he was in Virginia we talked! I have been through so much and although he has been far away he has been there for me as much as he could. When he was home in September we hung out every day until he left. I even stayed up way super late even tho I had to work the next day. He can have his phone but he doesn't get good service where he is at so we text all the time and talk once a week because the two days that he is off work i'm usually working. It sucks that he has to be so far away. I can't wait to be able to see him this friday when he finally gets two days off and then when he comes home for a month. But after that he is going to be going to Afghanastan which is so nerve wrecking I don't know what i'm going to do! If you want to talk that would be wonderful! Let me know =) Hope everything goes well!!!!!

This one is the first one that made me cry too- thank you for sharing the beautiful story of your love. You are an excellent writer and express your emotions so clearly.

Hey, I'm really glad i got to read this story. The same exact situation is happening to me right now and my boyfriend left for basic training a week ago. We have been dating for 6 months now, and i know that's not a long time, but were in love. Im a mess, and i love him. I dont know how im going to adapt with this, and i know i need to stay strong for his sake too. It really scary, and none of my friends understand. The only problem is that we have been having issues involving his ex-girlfriend the day before he left, and i love him so much but there's no way of me talking to him about it. What am i supposed to do when i find out that the love of my life, was talking to his ex-girlfriend behind my back, and im the idiot waiting for him. I'm going crazy and i know he loves without a doubt, but this whole situtation makes me so questionable. Theres no way of me finding out who is lieing... his psycho ex or him. I want to ignore it and act like it never happened but its not possible. i haven't been able to sleep or eat and ive been surrounding myself with people everyday so i dont sit home and cry. My friends are supportive, but im only 17 and this sounds like such a ridiculous leap of faith. Ive became close with him and his family, and i would NEVER expect something like this to happen. Him not being here is a major transition from being with him everyday and night. He is majorly protective as well, and i wonder if i should even spend my teenage years waiting for someone who lied to me right before he left. The way it sounds is ridiculous but i just cant let him go and deal with all of this alone in the army. When he comes back for christmas im hoping to make a decision by then... but i want to just leave this situation alone and stay with him forever. But its already wearing me down and its only been a week, and the only thing i feel like i can do is find people in the same place as me to talk too. I hope while hes away at training and has all this time to himself he really learns to appreciate everything im doing for him, and stops being so angry at me for being the best girlfriend i can. ive written a letter to him everyday, but thats not enough! theres no perfect way to describe how i feel right now... but i guess i just have to wait it out /: any advice...

Your story makes me see that I am not trully alone because next month me nad my boyfriend will have been dating for 6 months an dthe large majority of our relationship he has ben away and only have words on a paper to keep a relationship is a challenge in itself so I do understand completly what you mean by having to write letters. I am also in college myself and soon to graduate an dtransfer but instead of reading books i read and reread his letters over and over. its impossible at times to be able to concentrate with having him gone an djust wantin so badly to be around him or even near him. I am new to this site but your story really spoke to me i hope since we have things in common maybe we can get to know one another and make this life a little easier

wow, I can so relate to all of this. Me and my boyfriend have been dating just two months and we are falling in love with each other more and more everyday. He just went off to ranger school and there is little to no communication what so ever and its so hard! its so hard to not be able to talk to him or hug him or cuddle with him whenever i want like other girls can with their boyfriends. we met through my best friend. her husband is a ranger with my boyfriend and she hooked us up one night. she gave him my number and told him to text me and he did and ever since then. a few weeks after she hooked us up he had leave for two weeks and went home to see his family in ohio. i live in pa and one day he told me that he just had to meet me in person so the last 4 days of his leave he came out here and we hung out the whole time and just clicked. that first night he was here he asked me to be his girl friend and then the day he got back down to georgia where he is stationed they told him he was going to ranger school in two weeks. so after dating for 3 weeks august 22 he left for ranger school and at first we could talk every weekend but now the time we have to talk to each other is getting slimmer and slimmer. Over labor day weekend he had off though and he called me and asked if i would fly down and i did and the trip was amazing. its incredible how distance and then coming back together again can bring you so much closer. those four days were the best of my life and i really feel like i found my soul mate. the person i have been waiting for all my life. we have been talking about getting engaged, just not sure when yet. I love him so much and it sucks that the thing that makes me the happiest is so far away and i cant even talk to him. i prey all the time that he stays safe and i worry constantly. so i can def relate to all this. and i am here for anyone who wants to share their stories with me. <3

wow, I can so relate to all of this. Me and my boyfriend have been dating just two months and we are falling in love with each other more and more everyday. He just went off to ranger school and there is little to no communication what so ever and its so hard! its so hard to not be able to talk to him or hug him or cuddle with him whenever i want like other girls can with their boyfriends. we met through my best friend. her husband is a ranger with my boyfriend and she hooked us up one night. she gave him my number and told him to text me and he did and ever since then. a few weeks after she hooked us up he had leave for two weeks and went home to see his family in ohio. i live in pa and one day he told me that he just had to meet me in person so the last 4 days of his leave he came out here and we hung out the whole time and just clicked. that first night he was here he asked me to be his girl friend and then the day he got back down to georgia where he is stationed they told him he was going to ranger school in two weeks. so after dating for 3 weeks august 22 he left for ranger school and at first we could talk every weekend but now the time we have to talk to each other is getting slimmer and slimmer. Over labor day weekend he had off though and he called me and asked if i would fly down and i did and the trip was amazing. its incredible how distance and then coming back together again can bring you so much closer. those four days were the best of my life and i really feel like i found my soul mate. the person i have been waiting for all my life. we have been talking about getting engaged, just not sure when yet. I love him so much and it sucks that the thing that makes me the happiest is so far away and i cant even talk to him. i prey all the time that he stays safe and i worry constantly. so i can def relate to all this. and i am here for anyone who wants to share their stories with me. <3

i know exactly how you feel. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost two months now. we started talking for a month and then we started dating at the end of july. i knew he was joining the army and i knew he had to leave for basic at the beginning of september, but i fell in love with him fast. i have never felt this kind of love before. we have known each other for a couple years now, but i never thought that we would actually be together one day. then when i got back from vacation we hung out. we started hanging out alot then he asked me out. i was soo happy. but i still knew he had to leave for basic very soon. so we hung out every single day no matter if it was for 30 minutes or for the whole day, we hung out every day for a month straight. every day got better than the last. i was falling in love with him soo fast. he makes me soo happy. then came the second week of september. he had to leave to go to his moms in NC. i rode with him and his little brother and step mom to meet his mom halfway. i was fine on the way up there, laughing and holding his hand. then we got off the exit where we met his mom. i started balling crying. i didnt want to let go of him for anything. we got out of the car and stood there for about 20 minutes talking to his mom. the whole time i was hugging him and cryingg. i really didnt know what to do. i didnt want to let go of him for anything. then he had to leave. he gave me my last hug and kiss. :( i was so sad. the way back home i still cried my eyes out. his stepmom said you will be fine and so will he. i told her that i knew everything was going to be alright but it was just really hard for me to do. ive never had to let go of someone like this before. it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do. i had the weekend left to talk to him before tuesday morning when he left for basic. i talked to him as much as i could. then he sent me a text saying "i have to go now baby, i love you and ill write you <3." i asked him if i could talk to him on the phone for one last time and he said he couldnt. i immediately went to my knees and did nothing but cry cry cry. i didnt get to hear his voice for the last time. then i went home and at 10 pm i heard his ringtone on my phone. he was calling me. i got soo excited and happy. i got to talk to him for like 10 minutes, wasnt long but it was enough for me. he told me he loved me and that he would write me in the next week. when i got off the phone with him i cried but i was also smiling because i had gotten to at least talk to him for the last time and not just have to say goodbye over a text. a week ago i got a letter from him. i was so excited to open it up and read it. he told me how much he missed me and how tired he was from waking up so early and going to bed late. he told me that he absolutely loved it there and that he was going to come home a completely different person, but in a good way. he said i am his strength to get him through his problems and that he thinks about me all day and night and he wishes he could just be here with me. i read it over and over and i cried everytime. i wrote him back immediately that night (two page long letter, front and back).. lol. i havent got another one from him yet but i dont expect them immediately. i miss him so much and i cant wait for him to come home to me. it has almost been a month since he has been gone. i have till christmas till he comes home. i take it one day at a time trying my hardest not to cry. but sometimes ill just think about him and how much i miss him and i just start crying, even cry myself to sleep sometimes. he is my heart and im going to wait for him until he gets home. before he left he was talking to his dad and telling him that he was hoping that i wouldnt leave him since he was going to be gone for so long. i told him not to even think like that. because i wasnt going to leave him. i knew he was going to into the army since before we started dating, but yet i still stayed with him and wanted to be with him because i love him. i now know how hard it is to not have your boyfriend there whenever you want him to be. hes not there to hold your hand, to kiss you, hug you, to cuddle with, or to just laugh with and have a good time. i really miss all the things we did together. i see couples every day at school holding hands and laughing together. it just makes me sad to not have that. but i know when he gets back that he wont be leaving me. im just waiting for that day to get here that i will get to jump into his arms and hug and kiss him. that day will probably be the best day of my life. i pray for him every night that he is doing well. i just trust God to keep my baby safe. i love him so much! <3

Hello doll... are you my clone just younger? I would love to hear your stories. My boyfriend just enlisted and I am beside myself. We have known each other for a couple years and have been dating for 10 months now. We both graduated with chemistry degrees from Ball State University... I would love to talk to someone. aaeverett@bsu.edu

hey guys, im not sure if ur ok to entertain other nationality in this site..<br />
if yes, ill be glad to be a part of it.. if no, well i need to respect ur decision..<br />
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I've read all the stories and i could say that all of them are among the best stories i ever read in regards to such relationship. they are all very well said!!! 2 thumbs up..<br />
Believe it or not i am highly in to it since i discovered the site. everytime i feel like im giving up, ill open it and start reading again..its like that im pulling out my strength from all u guys, from these stories..though there some differences between ur man and my man since we came from other country, but the life is the same perhaps..<br />
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God bless us all.. and my prayers to our heroes and to their families....

it is hard... i met my boyfriend, fell in love, he left to basic, i found out i was pregnant... that was tough. he and i both wanted him here for my pregnancy, it was both our first baby. all the new exciting things about being pregnant he wasnt there for it.. but i had the wonderful support from my family and friends.. a month before he graduated out of AIT i had our beautiful daughter. he came home for two weeks met her, fell in love with her, then had to leave to korea... it is extremely hard... not to mention the 14 hr time difference.. but on the positive side we do skype almost everyday for a little bit, i try and show our daughter that that is daddy but shes only a few months old so she doesnt understand.. it is extremely hard being away from the one you are in love with, but he is doing the right thing . waiting for him is 150% worth it. <3

This is written beautifully. <br />
I can tell that you guys have an amazing relationship, and that's sometimes hard to find. <br />
<br />
I joined this website because my boyfriend is about to enroll in the army in a week. <br />
And I'm terrified. <br />
We've been together for about a month, but I'm just so scared. <br />
He's my best friend. And I can't imagine him being gone for so long. <br />
And the thought of him going to fight, if he ever did... <br />
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I'm just curious, how do you guys keep you relationship so strong?<br />
I'm worried that when he leaves we're going to drift apart.<br />
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Thanks for reading :) and good luck with your relationship!<br />
-Michelle

Kudos. I can tell you handle your man being away alot better than i did. This time around the deployment I need to do what you did- keep yourself busy. <br />
The last deployment my man had was way rough. I felt sick everyday, and cried everytime i heard from him. Bad idea. <br />
I now realize the kind of girl you NEED to be for your man. A strong supporting woman. You really are inspiring :) <br />
Every soldier deserves a girl who will wait and be there for him! Go army girlfriends!

wow your story is amazing. i know the same feeling. My Boyfriend had been dating on and off threw high school. Although i am still in high school he graduated two years ago. He is my best friend, when he told me that he was deploying i was heart broken. we had talked about him signing up a few years ago but i never thought he would actually sing up. Last year when he left i was still in just my junior year of high school worrying about all the drama you face in high school but at the same time i was scared to death of what if something went wrong when he went to training. i would stay up all hours of the night just waiting to talk to him on aol im chat! it was so hard not being able to come home and see his big smile if i had a bad day at school. instead i just had to wait. sometimes i went weeks at a time not talking to him. it was so hard. Once he got out of basic training for a few months he came home! that was the best time of my life! i finally got to see Ian and just hold him so tight and hope that he would never leave! But he only stayed for a few months and then was deployed to Germany :( Ian is currently in Germany now. I stay up so late now because of the time difference. Then when he calls every friday i get so happy just because i can hear his voice! Gosh i love him so much. i dont know what i would do without him. that thought goes threw my head all the time like what would i do if something went wrong.

I feel the same way! i'm in college and my boyfriend is deployed, but our love seems to be like no one else's our age. It' so good to know there are people out there who understand!

Thank you so much. I'm fairly new to this and my boyfriend recently reported back to base from a 45 day leave. Unfortunately I have been hit from every direction with bad news and today was a horrible day for me. With everything on me all I wanted was to be in his arms and I kinda let my overwhelmness spill over to him and that's exactly what i DON'T want to do. I want to be strong for him at most times. I want him to be able to focus on his duties and not worry about me crumbling back home. This isn't as easy as I thought it to be and I can really use so advice, encouragement, ect.

i so understand where your comin from...it is really hard but some of us do have to stay strong for them or else who would. I would have to say the hardest parts are the fights cause i hate to even get mad at my boyfriend cause its not like you can call him back when ever to try to fix things. Im young as well and ive only been with my boyfriend for bout 9 mths so i understand where your coming from.

Very well worded and this goes for married and umarri9end souses or the backbone of our soldiers,<br />
Sounds to me you could a start a support group online or in your area! Because there are so many newlywed wife's/Husbands that are going through this but in a more intense way!<br />
<br />
THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR STORY!<br />
<br />
E

Wow. this made me cry. You are a beautiful writer and this is a beautiful story. I felt like I could relate so much to it. I miss by boyfriend of 11 months like crazy, he is at basic training right now. I have learned to live off his letters like they are my food. It breaks my heart that we will hit a year and he won't be here to share it with me, and that I most likely won't even get to hear his voice. This is all so new to me and I am so glad to have things like this that allow me to find others going through similar things

The best gift we can give each other across the distance is positive thinking. Focusing on the day to day normal things in your conversations with one another is important. Instead of repeating how much you miss and love each other make jokes about more mundane topics. Leave the more emotional topics for emails or letters. I know this may sound impersonal but it will allow you to enjoy your time speaking with one another more. The fact of the matter is you both know you love and miss each other already. (don’t make it a terrible sad conversation) Focusing on the negative parts of your relationship while you are talking is going to create a pattern of negative thinking every time you interact. I try to talk about funny parts in movies or show we have both recently seen. Asking each other about friends and relatives and just talking about family can be fun and positive. Getting caught up in a countdown can also add stress and anxiety. REMEMBER: Stay focused on yourself if you take care of yourself you will be able to more easily support your bf through his time away. <br />
I think that Clare and Zach's story is beautiful. I appreciate the commitment you both share. I pray that you as well as all of the relationships spread across the distance can find peace. A wife pulled me aside in one of the army parties I recently attended. She was well aware that I was a gf and also new to the "army" scene. I have only been with my bf since june 09. She explained to me that the worst thing a woman can to her man while he is away and I quote "to start boo hooing" on the phone. Her name is Cassandra and I swear whenever I begin to well up I think of her strength. She has been an Army wife for over 15 years. The way she spoke to me with such authority and intelligence was inspiring. When my bf and I were sitting in the deployment ceremony in the gym many people were crying. It was very difficult for both of us, but I DID NOT cry. I think that by smiling laughing and joking about how tough we were allowed him to leave happy. ( or as happy as someone on the way to Iraq can be) My bf says " this is my life and this is my career" basically he is just saying you can’t complain about something you choose. As for us Army gf's we can’t complain if we agree to the circumstances. Every day that passes that I don’t become emotionally swept into tears is a victory for both of us. It allows me to be truly supportive. If we can find the strength within ourselves and fortify mentally then we can remain emotionally positive. That is the best gift we can give our bf's. The gift of knowing that we are safe, happy, and healthy and emotionally stable is the best support. When I feel the overwhelming sadness pulling at my heart I evoke the spirit of Cassandra and tell myself no boo hooing!

This is the first time ive been on this website. The woman who wrote this is the love of my life! she projects our story so well. Ive currently been deployed for a little over 7 months. Things have gotten very difficult on both ends. Me, i hate being away from home even at least the USA. Clare has been dealing with alot since she wrote this story. She changed her degree, transferred schools twice, works 2 jobs, and is currently dealing with me being away. I guess what im trying to say is that since this young woman was able to give all of you some inspiration during your time of need, i think she needs some of her own. After being apart for so long people tend to lose sight of the big picture and the future that your making for yourself. Its very easy to do that at our young ages. But there are the exceptions and mine and clares love is unbreakable. It just needs a swift kick in the ***. Revived. I love this woman with all my heart. All im asking is for all of you to help us and her out (me to). Thank you. And im glad this story was able to help some of you out.

You described my situation perfectly. My boyfriend's been deployed for 3 months now and boy was the first one hard. The good thing about being an army girlfriend is that you're able to adjust to so many different things. The best part of it all, is that it makes you a stronger woman. Having my boyfriend Tom gone has helped me mature and not take so many things for granted. Little things like emails, postings on my facebook wall, and 30 minute calls mean so much!!! It is tough at times, but those are few of the many things one will do when they're in love :)

You put this together so well it is awesome, I am going through the same thing and this made me cry!!!

"I suppose every relationship struggles with this constant changing, but I feel like ours is so much harder. How many people in love have had to write letters to each other for two months as the only source of contact?" --- I think this exact thing everyday when I write to my boyfriend. He is in basic training at Fort Benning and I miss him more than anything. In a few more weeks he will be at AIT and I can't wait for more "privileges." To any of my friends it sounds lame, but you couldn't be more correct. We can't just call whenever we want and I feel like a lot of people take their time together for granted. This is the loneliest kind of love possible, but in the end it will all be worth it :)

as everyone else has said you honestly write so well and you explain the life of an army girl to a t. My fiance and I have been dating since June and a few days after we started talking, he jokingly said he was joining the army. I thought it was just going to be one of those summer flings..seeing as I hadn't had a boyfriend since that last august. I was in the same boat as you..I had been dating a guy that I had met in high school and I always made excuses as to why he wasn't going anywhere in life. he didnt go onto college so i made an excuse for that, he broke my heart i blamed it on me, he would break up with me and i'd take him back thinking i couldn't find anything else. Well I was wrong. I was so scared of what would come out of this new relationship. All i had known was heartache and pain. Not happiness and all this joy. Im so in love with my soldier and I wouldn't have it any other way. He is the complete opposite of my ex. He opens doors and sends me flowers just because he misses me. He thinks about me before he thinks about himself. I have never had that happen. Now everyone thinks its too soon to get married but, once you find that one you just know. And the distance and time apart almost make it more noticeable when you find the one..if a love can last through all this time and distance..all the lonely nights and endless tears...there isn't a stronger love then that. <br />
if you need to talk im here also :)

Im glad to hear your story. My boyfriend is leaving for AIT tomorrow, and im so afraid to stay in this relationship im a junior in high school. If you could maybe tell me what it's like during AIT? i mean i already got through basic training . Any advice would be totally appreciated and would help me out TREMEDOUSLY!!

Your story is WONDERFUL! <br />
I am currently going through the samething you are. I'm a freshmen in college, living in the dorms, and my boyfriend is across the country. Your story truly touched me! It gives me hope...it inspires me greatly!

I agree with you all the way. its not an easy job being a military girlfriend. my boyfriend is currently deployed in iraq and its hard. everyday is jsut one more day feeling alone not having the one person you care and love the most right there with you. the long night worrying he's okay, but then having the late night phone calls that you cherish so much. being an army girlfriend for me definitely isnt easy, but i cherish every minute i have with him. Weve been together for nearly 3 years now hlf of it hes been away so me and him are used to the distance now but each time he goes away is just as hard as the first. its scary not being there with them and not knowing if he's okay. but just hearing his voice on the phone or seeing his face through webchats is such a blessing. i feel for everybody that has to go through a deployment, or they going away. its hard. but know there a re people here that know exactly what youre going through. if anybody needs someone to talk to im here. dont hesitate to message me, im very friendly. i too need someone to talk to. theres not really anyone where i live that gets what i go through.

Wow. You described what its like to be an army girlfriend so well. And im sure you already know this, but you write very well also. haha. My boyfriend recently deployed and its been so much harder than i expected. And yes, us army girlfriends definitely dont take anything forgranted that other girlfriends do, we cherish every moment, touch, feeling, kiss. All of us army girlfriends are dedicated to love our man, and those sacrifices and dedication shows well do anything for the true love we have with our soldiers.

wow you really described it all to well being in love with an army guy is the most difficult but also the most amazing love to experience because of exactly the reasons you explained you have to overcome so much to make it work but at the same time it is almost effortless because there isn't a reason out there that I wouldn't do anything to hold onto the love i feel towards him :)

i am new to this site. and i just came across it somehow, i just read your story. and all i can say is wow. it like touched my heart cause i related to it in soo many ways. also i absolutely loved how you wrote and how your worded things. i have never been one to actully read stuff. i have no patience. but i just decided to read your story and i couldnt be happier that i took the time to. i am a sucker for love, and i cant get over how reading that blew my mind for somereason. it truly inspired me.

I second everyone elses comments your story is amazing and really resounds everything that I'm going through now and went through before. My soldier and I have been together for almost two years and our relationship will be tested now while he's in basic and ait...thank you for sharing your story...it was really amazing.

I completely understand what you're going through. My bf left for basic 3 weeks ago and it's summer time, the national dating season. But as the old saying goes: good things come to those who wait. or at least i hope it does.

Hearing your story is so inspiring and true to my life as well. I loved the part about the lonliest kind of love. That is so true and most people don't understand that and its really nice to finally find someone that gets that. Its really nice to find somoene that can articulate exactly how it is to deal with being an army girlfriend. Its one of those kinds of things that when you try to explain to people they just don't get the magnitude of it. Thanks for writing this. It really helps.