Missing My Man More Than Words Can Describe

Wow this feels to good to just be able to write about my story and how I am feeling. None of my friends or family understands how it feels to love somebody that you cannot see or speak to for who knows how long. I really need help with this so I am open to any advice but alright here it goes:
                           I am an extremely proud Army girlfriend. When my boyfriend started to throw around the idea I never thought he was seriously until he showed me his papers of when he will be leaving for BT which was November 1st (what a one year anniversary gift huh). He is at Fort Benning, Ga and so far all I have gotten was a quick 3 min phone call saying he made it safe and he loves and misses me already. I literally have cried myself to sleep so far for the past week. I have been looking for another job just to keep my mind preoccupied but so far no matter what I find myself thinking of him constantly with everything I see or any song me and him would jam out to on the radio. This is the longest we have been apart and he we still have 8 weeks to go. I'm waiting on the letter from his Sergeant so I can at least have some form of communication with him. He won't be home for thanksgiving but I'm praying for the best gift which would be him getting leave for Christmas. I love this boy and I can handle us being apart since I have always been a independent gal but the real probably is I am just so worried about him. I couldn't bare if anything happened to him. He has always had the best personality and I'm worried (from horror stories) about him changing? I know they make them army strong and into men but do they really get abusive and violent?  I know this is what he really wants to do and who am I to stop him. I fully support him and every decision he makes and I made sure before he left that he knew that I am sitting here waiting for him no matter what. He had concerns about cheating but that quickly got removed from his mind. I am extremely faithful and the way he has me hooked Why would I do anything to ruin that. Blahh I love this man. Anybody that has any advice or can explain to me whats it going to be like after BT and AIT it would be wonderful. I just need somebody to talk to that understands and isn't going to look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them holding back tears my boyfriend, my best friend, is now taken by the Army.
                                                                                                            Love Abby
P.S. Sorry that was so long but please read if you get it. And has this site helped you? because even if I dint get any replies just venting that little bit helped.
aesque123 aesque123
18-21, F
36 Responses Nov 6, 2010

I am a wife now and actually not basic, afghanistan.... Try looking at the dates and thinking about the timeline of a soldier (since you are the only military wife dealing with her husband gone you should know it well) before you write a comment. But thanks for your totally unneccessary rude ungracious woah is me comment. Much appreciated. God bless you and your family. Have a wonderful life and try not to blame your kid for you getting knocked up and having hardships, assuming thats what you meant by hardships because if you, being such the army wife you are, you would be proud of your soldier and obviously by marrying him you should of most definitely been well prepared to know what you are getting yourself into which isnt counted as a hardship. So maybe lower your pride to these "Girlfriends" that are still dealing with their man being away and let us not compare hardships.

Basic training serious? thats nothing. get over it you all are just girlfriends. try being a WIFE and having a baby and then you can tell me all about your hardships. But if your just a girlfriend you really can't say anything because you have no idea what it is really like.

My boyfriend is a US Marine and we have been together for about a year now. He was deployed in October for Afghanistan, and I thought I was going to die. I went through Iraq with him as his best friend, but Afghanistan he told me is much worst, and that he'd actually be fighting. With that said, I cried before he left like I've never cried before. He told me he knew that it would be much harder for me than him because he would always know he was safe, whereas I would always be wondering. Now, here I am, 3 months after he left, I havent seen him in 200 days and I have only 100 more until he's going to be safe on American soil. I'm making the 3 day drive to California to be able to see him arrive home, and I cant even express my emotions. I'm nervous, excited, and anxious all because I know he's going to be home for good. No more overseas.

I probably cried every single night the month before he left. It sucked. We have been together for a year now. Nov. 1 the day he left to basic was our one year. what is the chances of that. But of course I cried said my goodbyes and now here I am. managing but still hurting. I really am waiting to get his address to send off letters I have already written and to just see he is okay. You dont have to be an army girlfriend or wife to know it hurts. You sound like you are really in love with him so trust me you have to stay strong just as much as I do. The only difference is a title. The good thing for you though is you still have an opportunity to go out and mingle. I cannot and do not even think about doing this. My time is mostly thinking about him. work. school. staying in shape. and what new thing can I tell him about. Im really not anticipating the day he says he is getting deployed because I know just like a relapse of all the terrible emotions that comes when your man first leaves is going to hit me like a train and I really hate being that down in the slums. Im really glad I found this site to be able to talk and listen to the stories of other amazingly strong females that are going through the same thing. We live a different life and nobody gets why we do it but we do. We know we love our men and well for me I know he is the one. So I want to see him pursue his dreams and goals and in the outcome this will be a great beneficial thing for us in the future. Just like he made me go to high school (when we met I was a senior) everyday he still encourages me to go to college. Our men only have us because we dont love them like there momma does(be kinda wierd) its a whole different kind of physical, mental, and deep love. They are worth it and they need us just like we need them.

I'm only 18 years old and i fell in love with my soldier in the airforce, we have been through a hell of a lot in the past known him for the past 5 years. Been there through think and thing with him, and havn't given up. We are not dating, and he's stationed in Germany. He comes home from leave in Febuary and its so hard not being able to just give him a hug and tell him i love him to his face. I get to talk to him a lot on skpype which is nice. Until the other day he told me that he volunteered to deploy. I was currently on skype with him and i told him i needed to get off. As soon as i did i started to cry. Its one thing knowing he is safe in germany, but a tottally different thing knowing he might deploy in May for afganastan. I couldn't stop shaking. I told him i was sorry, but his responce back to me was, I might be fighting, but as a soldiers girlfriend, soon to be wife. its much harder for you. I melted. I love him more then anything, and there are nights like these where i can't even fall asleep without writing him a letter which thoughts that i know he already knows. I fee blessed having him be here for me ever step of the way. I know he is the one for me at such a young age and it takes me by surprise.


thankss girl. and oh trust me I already am starting that figured 2 jobs.full time student. and exercise will keep my mind busy. make me smart. pay my bills. and look good for the man i love. ;p And I got a call today and a few quick pics of him in uniform and all shaven with no hair (compared to what he had) and It literally was the best 5 min of my life. All I can do is support him which I have been doing and will always do. But Im still trying to get over me being selfish and wanting him there all the time. I know now Army is #1 I will soon come to except this but its so new to me. Im use to being his #1 but Im trying to work on it.

Well luckily we have exciting paper and colorful pens now. lol But I dont get to see my army man I would never dare to write him about depressing little things when he is learning how to fight for our country with extensive training and who knows what else you guys have to endure. I want him to think of me with a smile on my face when he reads my letters when he claims I look the best not sad and puffy eyed when I think I look the worse but he opposes. lol Thanks so much Edward. You give us the input from the other side. The side that we really have no idea what they are really feeling or thinking when they receive our letters. Even if he didnt appreciate them he would have to deal with me sending them all the time.... ohhhh welll ;p

Grin. PLease understand that you are not alone - and you're going through a process that has been going on, probably since some Chaldean gal was looking at clay tablets. All my experience is at the other side of the letters - I spent 28 years in, going from E-1 to O-4 before I retired.<br />
I can't tell you HOW much those letters mean when you're downrange. Just letters about some trivial BS, stuff thats going on back home, don't get heavy and metaphysical, just stuff like what your dog or cat or younger siblings did, stuff like that. Just in your handwriting, and with a little of your favorite perfume can keep a guy plowing on for days. Trust me - been there, done that.<br />
Rock on, lady! HOAH!

aw. That's so cute. Sorry. :) I saw that and it made me smile.

a.k.a my job :)

That's awesome. Then every time he gets one they will make him smile. :)

lol Im just a dork like that and I told him he would never get a boring letter from me!

I'm so glad you have already found something to write about. :D I remember being back in that boat a while ago.

I can't wait to write back to him. I have so much to tell him.. all positive things. leave the negative to myself for now. And we have so many goofy jokes and insiders Im just going to fill it up with that.

Yeah you will. But the first letter was my favorite. Bad part was I had no idea what to put back.

Oh okay. Well I guess I'll figure it out soon enough..blah

It worked as he sent out the first letter with instructions on how to mail letters back. That's how I started writing him. But depending where hes at it might be different.

He is going for infantry I think he did really well on his pt so he is going in as an E-3 he was really excited telling me about this before he left I do know that lol it was cute. And I honestly believe it really is just going to make us closer. I don't even want to go out with friends... is that normal? all I want to do is is college. Work. hang out with his family who i have grown so close too and when I am able to write him.

As long as I know he is okay every once in awhile I will be okay. well its going to suck if that is the case but I would understand. But with him in BT when do i get the mailing address? or does he send me the first letter? or is it the sargent who sends all the info? lol I feel like I have so much to learn still.

You won't be forgotten. Believe me. Most people lose their relationships when they go off to boot camp but when he did it made ours stronger and that it will continue to get stronger. When you get that address write. If you feel as if no one understands do what I do I started a journal from the day before he left and I will keep it until he gets back about my feelings emotions etc. It helps me a lot plus it will fill him in on what he missed when he wasn't home. Same here...Never saw the boy cry until the day he had to leave for boot camp. :( So what is he going to be in the Army might I ask?

My soldier just finished basic and ait last week, and this week he was home on leave. I actually had to drop him at the airport today so he could fly across the country to his duty station :(. One thing about AIT though is even though they may get there phones at Benning they're rlly tough on them so it gets taken away easily. My soldier got his phone for a week and 1/2 and then had it taken away up until he graduated. AIT for me was the hardest because they are soooo busy and he had no time to write me letters, so I basically didn't hear from him for like 3 weeks. I doubt thts the case with most companies/platoons in basic cause I heard his drill sergeants were extra tough on his platoon.

One of my biggest fear is being forgotten. So I made him pinky promise which a huge deal between us he wouldnt. he said it was unnecessary to make him promise because he never could do that. but exactly they did choose it. I just hope mark doesnt regret it in any way. which Im pretty sure he wont. But girl it was the first time I have ever seen him cry when he wouldnt let go of me when i had to drop him off. I mean man tears you know not our balling but tears falling. it broke my heart to see him that sad and kid happy because it really showed how much he loves me.

Aw. I love songs that remind me of him and memories of before he left. They always bring a smile to my face. :D A big cheesy smile too. I know the feeling...You know what I have learned...You know the feeling we feel like being lonely and sad and everything...They feel it too. They miss home and loved ones and it was sad the other night Jacob didn't want to go to sleep because he didn't want to dream about home or me. It was the saddest thing I have heard. But there isn't really anything we can do he chose it. But it is probably because he's been gone longer than most people would have with basic and AIT

That is so true. I know Im new to it but honestly it already has made me a stronger person. I have always been independent but with him we spent every moment together and for somebody you love having to say good bye or see you later which i prefer is one of the toughest things ever. Its funny because I'll would be in classes texting him while he was at work then we would talk every night and see each other pretty much everyday and now my phone doesnt even move. Its crazy lol. He is my world no matter what. Aww im listening to my playlist and I need you by tim mcgraw and faith hill came on...Its our song

I hate people who say that to me. I say flat out to them because I love this kid and I somebody has to be stronger enough to love soldiers. Until you love one don't tell me I am over reacting and crying myself to sleep because I miss him for no reason. I'd like to see you try doing this. and that is what I say. but you know my favorite quote is God found some of the strongest women and paired them with soldiers. :)

Well hotter.. In my eyes he is already one handsome devil but I know the army is going to help with his beer gut lol. And oh my goodness me too. This is probably the first night Im not bawling. Feels so good to be able to get this all out and not have the response be a crazy look like "why do you put yourself through that just break up and problem solved." Gets so aggravating.

I know the feeling. The wait is gonna be TOTALLY worth it. :D And life would be different without him. :) Come on now where would be the fun in it for us. If they Army didn't make them hott and a trophy for us. lol. :) Just kidding. I'm so excited that I finally met and talked to someone who understands my problem with missing him.

Very very true. But its worth it. I promised I would be waiting for him and honestly I couldn't imagine not. Life wouldn't be the same without him. And this is what he wants to do. He supports me so of course I support him. Lol that is so funny that is exactly what I told him. I was like jeesh baby you gonna be really benefiting me by going. So hurry up and go. Get it done with. So I can walk around showing off my new trophy boyfriend :p (kinda had to lighten up the water works the last night before he left.)

Yeah AIT does get better. Well we really don't have any other choice than to put on our big girl pants. :) but the phone calls make the day so much better for both him and you. :D They were my favorite part about Sundays. :) And thanks I will ask him today if I'm getting a visit from the Army Santa. lol :) Also I know right I told him that. I said basic worked out great for me. You're gonna be soo HOTT when you get back. :D His response...."what? thanks em."

I think I will deal with this so much better when he gets to AIT. As you say put on my big girl pants now and deal with that 3 min call i got mon. lol But just now I have to replay his voice in my head. I miss it so much. And I haven't had the honor to see him in it yet. But I can only imagine how amazingly sexy he is going to look. lol. And you can use it anytime lol.

I was so disappointed when I found out the news it was pushed back but I tell him I do it Army style in dealing with it. I will suck it up deal with and put on my big girl pants and that always makes him laugh. I also understand no one getting it, everyone sees how nice he treats me but doesn't think I should do it because he's in the Army. My response I like him in his ACU's I mean what's not to love about a man in uniform. :) Well at AIT he has his cell phone so he can text and call me when he has personal time so I mean I have text, letters and phone calls but I still can't wait. I'm gonna use that one. I hope both you and I get a visit from the Army Santa that would be the best thing ever. :)

I also just found this sight. Nobody (friends and family) gets it lol. Im really waiting to get the address so I can start. seeing his handwriting will be proof that he is safe and will give me security. It has been so rough this week. I have been a blubbering mess. I dont think I have not ever cared how I looked this much before. lol Im glad there is other girls that fully understand it and Im really praying now for you that you will get to see your army man for christmas because I can only imagine how it must of been with the date of you seeing him get pushed back. Hopefully The Army Santa will be real nice to us and any army girlfriend,wife,other half for christmas. =]

I'm currently dealing with somewhat of the same situation. He left in June I haven't seen him since then and it is November. He was supposed to be back in October but he had a held up at basic and then it moved to November about Thanksgiving. But yet again, he got recycled because his knee gave out. So we are hoping Christmas....But well see where that goes. I just finally got my life back on track and he's been gone so long. Supporting him is the best thing you can do, love him. Never stop writing letters ever. :) Letters are everything the two of you are going to have for awhile. I'm so excited to see this kid in December it will be six months of not seeing him when I see him again. So I hope everything works out for you. If you need anyone to talk to you can message me. And I have no idea about the website just found it tonight and wanted to know that I wasn't the only one feeling the way I do that he is gone. :)<br />
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Aww thank you! See this just made me tear up. I don't think I have ever been this emotional. lol. Its really awesome hearing stuff like this. Im expecting it to be rough but I know this will just make us stronger. How long has your army man been in the service for?

I felt the exact same way when my boyfriend left for bt. He was also at Benning. First week he was gone I was like a zombie, and had no clue what to do with myself. I was so afraid that he'd either get hurt there, decide he couldn't handle the distance and break up with me, or my biggest fear was that he'd change into a completely different person. I was so relieved when I went to see him family weekend that despite everything he'd been through he was the same guy I fell in love with. Within the first 10 minutes of being with him again he punched me for a volkswagon lol which is something we did constantly before he left. Don't be afraid that he'll change cause no matter what happens he'll always be tht same guy that he was before he left. Sometimes it just takes alittle while to see it. There are subtle changes that I notice but nothing bad. If anything he'll gain confidence in himself. Sorry this is sooo long but I'll sum it up lol. Basic is the hardest and he proli won't get mail for the first three weeks, but AIT is def better and he'll proli get his phone back. This website can be really helpful for either asking questions or plain venting. It'll get better and he's gonna love you even more for waiting for him :) Stay strong girl and if you need anything just send me a msg :)