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Im A Wreck

Hello ladies! Havent written on here in FOREVER. I kinda learned to cope with the deployment the best i can. Hes been gone almost 5 months now. Seems much longer to me though. But i guess i "got used" to it... But i was able to talk to him everyday for the most part which i know helped me a lot. And now, they took down their phones and internet. So for the next 3 months, i have absolutely no contact with him. The only thing is he will use his friends personal internet once a week for about 5 minutes. And if im not on then, i wont be able to talk to him. This is killing me. I dont see how its fair that we have to go that long not hearing from our loved one. 3 months. Our one year is next month...and we wont be able to even TALK to each other. Its literally killing me. I broke down in the middle of school yesterday and twice at work due to everyone asking what was wrong, as i am no longer my happy self. I just need some insight as to what to do about this and how to cope. I am busy a lot, and it helps, but only for a little bit. My mind still drifts back to him. And hows hes handling it, because he depends on being able to talk to family and everything to get him through the deployment and he cant do that now. Any advice is appreciated. I try to tell myself itll go by fast, with holidays coming up but that also makes me sad that hes not gonna be home with his family for it and we cant even send him anything because they got rid of the post office over there recently he said. Im doing my best to be positive but its pretty tough thinking the next about 100 days....i cant talk to the man i love :(
sparksfly13 sparksfly13 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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Thank you both so much. Even just knowing other people going through it and how they handle it helps. You dont feel as alone. He got on today for a few minutes, but i was out and just happened to check fb on my phone and its affecting him SO much. its changed him :/ hes not happy. and that kills me more then me being upset. i dont care how much pain im in as long as hes ok, but i can tell he isnt. So whats "helping me" is knowing he NEEDS me to be strong right now. I can not be weak when he feels how he does or itll make everything worse. And so maybe that will help some too, knowing we have to be strong for them if we cant for ourselves. I do the same, work and go to school a lot just to be busy cause its better than sitting at home thinking about it which is horrible. My friend doesnt understand why i dont want to go out with her and her bf and their other couple friends...like you said, i dont have that right now and i dont want to be reminded of it. Anyways, we can and will get through this. Just think of the day when we finally get to see them again and get to jump into their arms and FINALLY kiss them. We will all help one another get through this!

I want you to know that you are not the only one out there feeling this way. I usually dont cry on webcam with him, but I miss him so much. And now they're switching him back to days which is nights for us here, which means we wont have the communication we have had. Maybe its selfish of me, there are a lot of girls like you who will have absolutely NO contact, and I dont even want to imagine what that is going to be like. I know that here shortly their internet communications will be limited and my heart breaks just thinking about it. I have sat here all tonight missing him and crying. I made it point not to fall in love with someone in the military (my daddy went overseas when I get older and that was heart wrenching) and some how it happened. I'm in love with my Army guy through and through. I work alot, which really has helped but tonight when he webcammed, I lost it. Its my birthday weekend (birthday's monday) and the fair is in town and its fall so there are celebrations galor and all I want is him here. I just want him to physically be in the same room as me. A lot of my friends don't understand why I work 70 hours a week, well hello, coming home to an empty house isn't fun. And going out with everyone who's coupled up and seeing all the couples makes me so upset because I dont have that. And don't get me wrong I am so very proud of him. He's a great father to his children (from previous marriage) he's a great soldier and he is one the best men I've ever known (since I was 15) So hello Mr. President, bring our great men back to us. <br />
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They say half the war is fought by the half of our hearts over there, and the other half is fought by us, waiting and holding down the fort back home. ... <br />
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Come on R&R... this girl needs him back in her arms.