Whose Husband Is Going Through Basic And Ait At Ft Leonard Wood?

My husband is going through basic and ait at ft leonard wood. He left Feb. 6 of this year and I havent seen him since Feb. 24th. He graduates and gets to come home on July 19th...My husband and I got married on Jan. 20 of this year...I am 19 and he is 20,  we dont really know what married life is yet  and I am 5 and a half months pregnant with our son Ian. I am having problems though, he was in the GED plus program from the time he left till the last time I saw him and he was really nice to me when he was in the GED plus program and now he is really mean to me. He has opened another bank account without my name on it, he cusses me out about our sons name and says things like "call him Ian again and see what happens" and "if you call him Ian again you can raise him by yourself" and he calls me inconsiderate and selfish. He always wants me to write him and all he ever writes me is negative. I still live at home to save money and my mother knows everything that goes on with me and him and everyday she says to go divorce him and that I shouldnt go to his graduation and she is also afraid that he'll abuse me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically when he gets back...and I should write him or answer his phone calls when he does get to call. I know he is going through a lot being in basic and ait, I know that his sergeants have to break him down, but how normal is it for my soldier to be treating me like garbage? Should I give up on him or not? I really need help!
kbrutland kbrutland
18-21
3 Responses May 4, 2012

To be honest, I don't think your husband's behavior is a result of the training he's undergoing. Like Rotel previously posted, the lack of communication my boyfriend and I experienced while he did BCT/AIT in Ft. Leonard Wood actually brought us closer. He was so excited for our weekly phone call and was the biggest sweetheart in all of our conversations. I think your husband's behavior towards you is bigger than his being stressed out by training. It sounds like you really need to sit down and talk with him when he comes home. As for letter writing and going to graduation, you should continue on with your original plans. Even though his letters to you are negative, that shouldn't stop you from writing to him... your letters will bring him a small piece of home and break away from the 24/7 Army life. Also graduation is a big event of his Army career and I really think you should go even though you guys are going through problems right now. You will probably regret it later on if you missed out on that. <br />
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Good luck w/ everything!

My boyfriend did all his training at FLW from Jan-April this year and he never once dis-resprected me. If anything he became more mature, and a bigger sweatheart.<br />
I'm not saying anything about your husband, because I don't know him. But from what I read, it dosen't sound like he's going to change. I have been in a horrible relationship, thinking every day things would change but they didn't. On the bright side, if you do decide to divorce him, you are still young and have your whole life to find someone who will treat you with respect.

Hunny I been through horrible relationships in past. But what he is doing is disrespecting you an unborn child. He is not a man. Basic and ait from what I learned no man would come out like that. Honestly you need divorce him. I'm sorry your going through this but you need too. He won't change. I been there done that with past exs. Just because he is a soldier shouldn't give you the thought tht its where he is that makes him do this. If he had went through hell deployment maybe but not to that extreme. He is showing his true colors and it will only get worst but that just my opinion