Needing Advice!

Hello, my boyfriend just left for basic training in April. Its been about a month now and I find myself missing him and maybe having a little bit of anxiety. I don't have anyone to talk to because no one seems to understand the pressure that I feel and those I do talk to are LITERALLY no help. I received my first letter about a week ago and I write everyday. I remain positive in my letters and he has no idea im feeling this way. Can someone help me...please! :)
tking2 tking2
3 Responses May 8, 2012

Hello. Well my boyfriends home for now but when he was in basic i was always worried about things.Like if he would change his mind about us,or how the army would change him. But i realize now that its only managed to Strengthen our relationship with each other. Keep supporting and writing to your man and let him know your there for him no matter what. Days will go by and you will miss him terribly but it will make everytime you see him only that much more special to you. If you need someone to chat with im online most nights and this site has been a wonderful help to me because there is always some to talk to and ask for advice :) Keep your head up and be strong :)

i have a few questions for you ? because my boyfriend is leaving for boot camp on may 15 and i'm just so nervous i just don't know what to do because i'm nervous , upset because i haven't been away from him at all even though i sound probalbly really dumb right now but i'm just wondering how is the whole not talking thing because i feel like im just going loose it :(

Hello, Well youre definitely not crazy :). What you're feeling is what im feeling right now. Not talking to him is hard that I will not lie about, but I find comfort in the letters that I write him, or sometimes I reminiscence on the conversations that we've had and the things that he told me before he left and that hepls me. You're gona have to remain stron though it is hard going from talking everyday to not hearing NOTHING. Like I saidd in my post NEVER let him hear how stressed you are be strong its ok to say you miss him but breaking down May not be good for him because he's in a very different time and difficult time in his life as well. So remain strong hun and I understand where you are right where u are and we can help each other get through this period it will all be over soon. :)...hope this helps

Thannks yes i mean i do have a few more days with him i'm trying my hardest to keep things together and we've talked about things kinda but i feel like i should have a serious talk with him before he leaves? he allways tells me things that will get me through this whole thing , i'm just kinda nervous for him because he's never been on plane or like never been away from home which is really different . i wouldnt mind talking to about things , i'm down for that :) do you hangout with his family?

I would definitely have that talk because you have to have some clarity before you guys embark on such a wonderful journey. Yes I hang out with his mom and sister when I'm not to busy working. Maybe you should you know find some new hobbies that would keep your mind off of things. Do you spend time with his family?

Hey there :) First off, I know how you feel. My boyfriend left for basic training back in early January, and it was really hard that first month or so. But, know that it will be ok. I was full of anxieties too when he left. Worried about whether or not basic would change him, or change how he felt about me. Let me tell you what though, if anything, that experience made our relationship stronger :) It will be the same for you, you'll miss him terribly, and it will be hard sometimes. But, when you see him again, it will all be worth it. My best advice for now would be to keep doing what you're doing: writing letters, let him know you love and support him, etc. This website helps a lot too, especially when there's no one who understands how we army girlfriends feel. I hope that helped you a little. Message me or something if you ever need to chat :)

Oh my gosh yes. My bf is at Ft. Gordon right now, and he gets his phone in the evenings and on the weekends. He also has his computer. So, we're able to call/text every night, as well as Skype sometimes. I'm not sure how it works on other posts, but I heard it's pretty much the same for AIT everywhere, so it's MUCH easier :)

Don't worry at all about feeling selfish either. In my opinion, it's perfectly normal to worry about little things, it's not selfish at all :)

Hello thank you soo much for the response. You really helped me for awhile I felt guilty for feeling this way because it seemed as if I was being selfish withy feel

Is it easier once they get through basic and on to AIT?

Ok thank u sooo much and one last question. How often did u receive letters?

No problem! Ask all the questions you need :) I got letters a couple times a week at least. About halfway through his training my bf ran out of stamps (lol) so letters were slow for a week or so, but he sent a weeks worth in one envelope. So I would expect letters at least once a week, maybe more or less depending on the post your bf was sent to for basic, and how busy he is when he starts training. I got my first letter about two weeks after he left. Hope that helps!

Ok he's at Ft sill. I got my first letter last week so I should probably get one on Friday *fingers dressed*

Good luck!! :)

Thx u

So I have something totally new and different to ask you. So I received a letter from my boyfriend today stating how much he misses me and that he wants me to come and live in Arizona for 3 mths while he's in AIT and he would get me an apt out there and all I have to do is move. At this point im really shocked and I dont know what to do because that's a big step you what do you think. I mean I love him and I know I would be ok but im still a little worried. Help me again please lol.

I will admit, that does seem like a very big step to make, and a very tricky problem indeed. And I'm glad you're thinking about it a little bit before just jumping into it. I can tell you guys both love each other a lot, and that's a really good thing to have in a military relationship. While he's at AIT, he'll get a lot more freedom than when he was at basic (passes on long weekends, he can go off post sometimes, time away from the barracks exploring base, etc.) But I'm not sure how it would work even if you got an apartment closer to him. He could come visit definitely I would think, or you could go visit him on post, but as far as I know you wouldn't be able to live on post, you would have to get an apartment off base, and that could pose some problems in regards to you guys spending time alone with each other (everytime my bf leaves the barracks he has to have a battle buddy with him). That's probably some really disappointing news, and I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news in that regard :( However, the best advice I can give to you is to listen to your heart and your gut, and go if you think it'll be the best decision for you and your relationship. But do think about it a little more before you make a decision that big. Have you guys thought about maybe waiting until he's done with AIT and then finding a place together? It means more waiting, but it could be worth it :) I do hope that helps though, and let me know if you have anymore questions :) I'm glad to help in any way I can!!

7 More Responses