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I Don't Know What To Do..

My boyfriend and I got together December 29, 2011 and he left for BCT on Janurary 3rd. When he left we both made a promise that we would stay with each other through everything and I thought we were doing a good job at it. I love him and he loves me. Yeah, we hadn't been together long but there was just something about him that made me fall. Well he graduated April 20th and things began to change. He became more distant and Saturday he got a leave to come home until this upcoming Monday. I wasn't able to see him until Wednesday because he kept telling me he couldn't, because he was with his family. His friends were shocked because he was actually hanging out with them as well. That hurt me that he lied. Well last night we started talking and I knew the conversation would happen. He's deploying July 12th for 9 months, and he dosen't want to be together when he deploys. He broke up with me last night, but said it wasn't a break up and when he came back after deployment that we would be together. He's scared he would get the "Dear John" letter, even though that would never happen. I have never cheated on anyone and never would I. I just wish there was a way I could show him to stay with me because I don't wanna be with anyone but him and I do realize deployment will be hard..
rotel rotel 18-21, F 4 Responses May 11, 2012

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My boyfriend and I went through the same conversation about ten times before he actually deployed. When it comes down to it, its all about the fear they have about what is going to happen when they do deploy. My boyfriend was very scared about the cheating because he watched so many of his friends go through that and it terrified him. I reassured him that that would never happen, and finally we decided that we would stay together through the deployment. I have a feeling that the club thing was more of him just trying to deal with everything. I know my boy started to go out more and more before he deployed and it bothered me but it was more of him trying to deal with it all. In the end, another conversation between you guys might not be bad because there needs the be clarity on both sides and not knowing where someone stands hurts worse then the break up itself sometimes. If you need to talk to anyone just message me anytime. I hope everything works out!

Last night he told me he couldnt hang out because he was with his family. I was with his best friend and my now ex called his best friend to come pick him up from the club because he was wasted.. Who knows what he did at the club. & afterwards all he was talking about was going to another club or the ***** club. I love him but after that i'm not sure he feels the same way..

Me and my boyfriend went through the same thing. In the end we decided that if we were just going to get back together anyway we might as well just stay together, especially since we'd just be thinking and worrying about each other the entire time anyway. I hope everything works out for you, I'm sure he's just nervous about deploying and everything that goes with it. Stay strong!!

Me and my fiancee had his convo many times, and yes in the end we decided to stay together although he will be deployin.No matter what if you love your soldier just stand by him, write him and let him there your still there and still in love with him despite this decision:) be strong and he will be home soon hunni. Also remember this quote" if you love something, set it free, if it comes back its meant to be"