Being Strong Is The Only Option.

Every night I make sure my phone is on loud, charged, and right next to me, I wait for Keaton to call, and tell me "goodnight babe," just hearing his voice makes it a little easier. I'm about to lose the luxury of being able to text him every day, and call him whenever I'm feeling a little down. He deploys to Afghanistan in two days, and it hasn't completely hit me yet, it doesn't feel real. But I know as soon as I don't wake up to a "good morning" text or phone call, it'll really hit me. I'm trying my best to be strong, for him and me. It's the only choice I have, crying everyday isn't going to bring him home any sooner. These nine months aren't going to be easy, I know that, but I also know that he's the only thing that seems worth it right now. I'm constantly over-thinking things, like "what if he doesn't wanna be with me when he gets back," or "what if he loses feelings for me?" it makes it even harder. I'm falling even more in love with him every day, and I haven't told him yet. I wish this was easy, and he didn't have to go. I wish we could be like the couples I see everyday, I wish he could meet my family and everyone can see how lucky I am. I just want to hold his hand and kiss him whenever I want to. I don't get to do that with Keaton. But what we have is real, he's the one person I can count on, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I know I have to keep busy if I'm gonna stay sane these next 9 months. I'd love to hear other stories! and what you ladies have been through!
cheyenneemariee cheyenneemariee
18-21, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

yes, this is my first deployment..I have been away from him when he was at BCT and AIT but that was nothing compared to this... thats really cute he told you that.. is he out of the states now doing training? I want you to know I believe you will be able to talk to him more than you think.. so far my boyfriend has had a lot of down time, a lot of meetings, and we have had a lot of skype chats... The first time we skyped I almost cried cuz I was sooooo happy that I could actually see his face, I held it in so he wouldnt see me cry.. staying strong and taking one day at a time seems to be helping. Joining this site and posting stories is def. one step in the right direction because everyone on this site is soooo helpful and I am glad I joined this site and groups. Talk to ya soon.. I am here if you need me.. and your welcome glad I could help even if it was a little.

he was training in kansas, and i havent seen him in over a month. it's been hard, not nearly as hard as i feel like his deployment is going to be. it hasnt completely hit me yet, but i know it will soon. and i'm trying so hard to be strong, i dont want him worrying about anything but himself. i'm so glad i found this site, and meeting people in the same situation. you have no idea how much it means to me, and i reeeaaallyyy appreciate all of your advice! thanks again!

My boyfriend deploys tomorrow. And he'll be back sometime next year as well. I got my last phone call from him few hours ago, and i'm still in shock! he told me he loved me today and it made me so happy, i just wish he could be here to say it in front of me. and i need to stop thinking that way, it's already driving me crazy! we both have skype and i love it!:) it'll definitely make this whole thing a lot easier. thank you so much! it means a lot! is this your first deployment? you take care too!!:)

OMG.. Girl my boyfriend is in afghanistan right now... he will be there till next year sometime. I know how you feel these thoughts seem to be something we all go through in the process of a deployment. I am constantly thinking what if he doesnt want to be with me when he gets back or his feelings change while he is away for a few months. I know how that feels try to stay positive and just hope and pray everything will be fine. I know if I keep thinkin this way it's gonna drive me crazy. While he is gone he will be able to contact you, if he has a computer make sure he gets SKYPE!! Skype is awesome and the best thing that has helped with this deployment since he got there. I leave my phone next to me in bed on my pillow and leave my computer on incase he skypes me at night cuz the time difference is like 8.5 hours ahead of us, or something like that. If you want more info I would be happy to try to help with anything I can. Stay strong and positive and I hope everything works out for ya. I am here for ya. Take care girly!!