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Long Distance Relationship: Staying Faithful - Help

My army bf and I have been together for a year and a half, we've known each other all through high school and I've been with him my first 2 years of college. I am an artist and studying design in the city and he lives in my hometown, so when he is home he is still an hour and a half away in another state, so it's always been long distance whether he is on army duty or not. I have no future plans or desire to leave the city and move back to my hometown, but he has plans to move in the future when he has the means.

He is my best friend, and basically my ONLY friend aside from my room mate who is never home. I've been in a creative slump because I go to art school but have no friends to relate to creatively. I grew up with 4 brothers and have always been able to make friends and relate to guys more than girls.

Recently I met this new guy that is also a designer and goes to a neighboring art school. I hong out with him and told him about my boyfriend. We have ALOT in common creatively and I feel like staying friends with him would benefit me because 1. we can make art together and 2. I'll finally have a friend to hang with and wont have to lay in my bed wishing my bf was here constantly.

This new guy is clearly interested in me, and we ended up kissing and made plans to hang out more. Its been killing me and I told my bf right away when he was able to call me during his 2 week duty, and I know it upset him. I'm still madly in love with my boyfriend and we're best friends; I'm DEFINITELY not ready or willing to drop my bf and go with this new guy. ideally I really wish the new guy and I can keep a friends-only basis, but it's hard because I'll forever know his attraction to me. The worst part about getting older is that girl-guy relationships are that it's almost impossible to mutually be "just friends".

I want to continue to hang out with this guy but I also don't want to lead him on and hurt my boyfriend. They are both two very different people; my boyfriend has amazing qualities that the other guy doesn't and vice versa. But they are not by any means comparable. What should I do?
helpmesolvemyproblems helpmesolvemyproblems 18-21 4 Responses Aug 3, 2012

Your Response


You are weak. Are you kidding me? You kissed him then regretted it? You did the damn action woman! I'm leaving for bootcamp in 2 months and I'm in a relationship. The world doesn't need imoral dirty people like you. What should I do? Umm well obviously your love for your boyfriend is about as strong as a spaghetti noodle if your asking what you should do. The military isn't a ******* access card to fool around with other men. What makes you think if he's in the military and you go around kissing people that when he is discharged and he's home you won't meet the same people who share **** in common with you and go around kissing them! Get your **** together. Make the damn decision. But don't keep your "boyfriend" who obviously doesn't mean 2 ***** to you. Sitting around while your smooching up with Picasso. And yes you feel guilty. It's the little sliver of whatever good you have in you crying out to you to stop. : with all do respect.

I was living with my husband for 5 years and everything was moving so fine. until one morning a call came in and when i picked the call, a ladies spoke to me saying he wants to speak with my husband and when i asked who she is, she said that she is a girlfriend to my husband and she asked me too who i was, for me not to curse any dispute, i lied to her, so when my husband came back i asked him he lied to me, that night i was so down, i broke in tears and left the house for finding out that my husband is cheating on me, but i loved him so much, i thought of what to do to make him love me passionately, so a friend gave me clue on what to do that i should contact spell caster, So i went into search in the Internet so fortunately i found good testimonies on how this prophet harry has helped a lot of people in my condition, so i contacted and he worked a spell on me and my husband, getting back my husband was the most important thing i was after, this spell worked like nothing I had ever seen in my life .after 3 days of the spell was casted my husband came begging me to come back home, he promised to be faithful to me and promised never to cheat on me again, I’m happy now and free. my problems are solved<br />
“I have never experienced anything like this. I never expected such a reaction. Jenny G

Witchcraft isn't the answer lady. God is. And the legion of demons working for you under this "prophet" will suffer under the foot of the most high

You clearly overstepped some boundaries here so it's time to make a choice: respect your boyfriend and distance yourself from this new guy or end things with your bf and be free to pursue new people. You can't have the best of both worlds. I am not a big fan of guy/girl friendships. I know they can work but there is often an underlying attraction that is destructive to one or both friends' romantic relationships. There are other people out there - plenty of girls to hang out with or guys who aren't interested in you romatically. Go find some of those people. You've been doing well enough on your own for a while, you can hang in there a little longer until you meet some people who won't compromise your relationship. Props for telling your bf the truth! That takes guts and is a step in the right direction. Best of luck with everything.

Technically you already cheated on him b kissing someone else. I have many guy friends because I to get along better with guys and I have never kissed, slept with or dated anyone of them so it isn't impossible if you can't control yourself you shouldn't be hang out with him. Make up your mind. Your boyfriend is obviously amazing for staying with you after you kissed someone else. Your using your "creativeness" as an excuse to hang out with this guy. Furthermore if you can't keep your lips and whatever else to yourself you don't deserve to be in a relationship. He's out there sacrificing his life for his country you are the reason us faithful girlfriends and wives have bad reps I shouldn't have posted I have nothing nice to say to you. Go find "creativity" somewhere else where is doesn't involve cheating on your boyfriend.