Not Giving Up
Today me and Jake had a horrible fight to say the least. He broke up with me but its complicated. So I was at work and a friend called me, asking what happened and if I was okay. So naturally I was like oh god whats wrong whats happened who died you know blah blah blah. She said "well Jake's relationship status just changed to 'single'" I was like oh god "I'm at work right now I cant handle this." After I hung up with miss nosy pants I immediately got on FB. THANK THE LORD HE WAS STILL ONLINE. So at this point I'm hyperventilating and my boss knows and my other co worker knows and its crazy and I cant stop crying and coughing and I can barely breathe. Like a five hundred pound boulder was dropped on my chest. It was the worst so we talked on FB for about thirty minutes and I couldn't stop crying, so I finally got sent home. No one likes a crying receptionist. When I got home I got on my laptop and we continued talking. So much was said, so much was figured out, it was just soooo much. I love that man with my whole heart. Now we're not back together, which sucks but we basically are if you get what I'm sayin'. I'm just glad I caught him before he signed off. I would die without him in my life. I'm so thankful we can work things out. He is seriously the only man I ever EVER want to be with. With him being deployed it just made all this worse, and my childish insecurities don't help or my lack of communication skills when it comes to emotions. This is just way too much to take in right now. But I am so done with my fears getting in the way of my relationships, and I'm so glad we could talk things through and understand each other a little more. Also before he went offline he said "I feel like this conversation helped us" all I could think was thank god he said US. He put a little <3 and went to bed. I'm just glad that nosy person called me or I would just be so single and heartbroken right now and I'd probably go into the worst depression ever.