I Am a United States Army Girlfriend

Starting To Get Harder

By: PSforever

Written on August 18th, 2012

My boyfriend left for basic 5 weeks ago. The first couple of weeks I was doing okay, but now i'm starting to feel even more lonely with out him. I haven't heard from him in a week and a half and I just want to know he's okay. My mom is pretty unsupportive and every time I think of a way to help me deal with him being gone, she says i'm obsessed and crazy. I wish she was more supportive and understanding about how hard it is for me to just get out of the bed in the morning. Once the mail comes if there's not a letter, it's starting to get harder to continue on in the day. It's starting to feel like i'm just going through the motion during the day. I start college soon and should be excited but all I can think about is he won't be here. All I need is for him to tell me it's going to be okay but he can't and i understand but it's so frustrating. I know what I signed up for when he decided to go in to the military and i'm know i'm strong enough to handle it I just hate this lonely feeling. :(

By: PSforever

Age: 18-21 , Female

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26 responses

armygirlfriendmeza

I'm so sorry. As the weeks go by they get more and more busy. It's hard for them to write at all times you know? But I know how you feel. Try to distract yourself. He dosnt want you to be this way ether. Do it for him

Aug 20, 2012
1 like
- PSforever
  I know he would want me to happy. And thats what I tell myself everytime I start to feel sad. Somedays its easier to believe myself then other. I will make it for him! Thanks for the supporting words :)
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- armygirlfriendmeza
  I wish I could do more. But yeah just go on walks and stuff. Working out helps ALOT!!!! If you don't have a job go look for one. You need to fill up your day with things. Live one day at a time. Don't think ahead just yet. It will kill you
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  Im starting running tomorrow. And ive been trying to find a job. I go to school 4 days a week and am babysitting my niece to help keep busy. I try to take ot a day at a time. I know each day is a building block to get more days. And just advice is so much help!!!
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- armygirlfriendmeza
  Yeah do everything you can. Dave some money buy random crap at the craft store and do whatever your imagination tells you to do. And I'm here for you if you have any questions ok?
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  Thanks so much :)
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- armygirlfriendmeza
  No problem sweetie. We are all here for eachother
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
3 More Replies
Angie0618

I am so sorry to hear you feel this way! It is completely understandable though, and I think it is so strong of you to be able to admit how hard it is! You have done it for 5 weeks... how I do deal with missing someone is count down the days and say ok well I did it for 3 days... I can do it for 6... and after 6 then I can for 12! I know that is not very helpful for the most part, and your mother isnt helping as much either. She wants the best for you, and to her that is for you to be able to be happy alone without him, probably not meaning you shouldn't be with him... but happy either way. I'm not saying that is the right way to look at it, but maybe how she is looking at it. You are not obsessed, just in love with a soldier :-). You know him unlike other people can, take pride in that. He thinks about you whenever he has the oppurtunity, take pride in that. He loves you, and all you can do is love him back with all you have. I know this might not be very helpful, but just know that I know what it is like to have a boyfriend, and best friend. There is nothing that can be said to magically make it easier, but only things to make it less painful, until you get to see him and have all your firsts all over again! That will make it worth everything!

Aug 20, 2012
1 like
- PSforever
  Thats exactly what im doing. I made it 5 weeks, I can make it another. And when I make it that week ill make it another until its time to see him and I can look back and laugh at how far it seemed :) I cant wait for all the first! It defiantly will make it worth the wait. Thanks for the supporting advice!
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- Angie0618
  No problem :-) we are all (or soon will be) in this together :-)
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
missinghim3

i totally understand. i feel the saem way sometimes. i just feel like im not strong enough and i would do anything to be with him again! but that fact that its not possible is what kills me. my bf has been gone for 8 weeks now and he wont come home until mid-november. a couple of weeks ago it started to get easier though because he started to call more and the other day i got 4 letters in the mail! it was amazing. it will get easier, especially when you are busy with school. as they go, they will get more priveleges and more phone time. just be patient. during basic they are always really busy and they have long days. my bf says when he gets back to his bay at night he is just too tired to write and i understand that. my advice is to write to him everyday. it has really helped me and i look forward to writing. once he gets to ait, he will have way more priveleges, especially with phones, and he will have more time to write. it will be okay! just stay busy!

Aug 19, 2012
2 likes
- PSforever
  I understand he cant write as much as I do... A letter a day lol. And I know he will when he can its just hard when I dont get anything. Im trying vey hard go stay as busy as possible. Its only 4 weeks left. Thanks for the advice! Its nice to have support
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- missinghim3
  aww 4 weeks is nothing, girl. your more than halfway there! you can do it! stay strong and just think how amazing it will be when you see him again!
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  I remeind myself of that everyday :)
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
juliec91

I understand how u feel!!! My bf left last month and there's day when im ok but days like today that I wake up and miss him like crazy and just feel depressed and cry knowing that I can't see him or talk to him... I also starting college next week it's my third year but ever since I started college he's always been here with me and now knowing that he won't be here when go back hurts so bad !!! I don't how I'm gonna do it to be able to concentrate once I go back when all I do is think think and think more about him every day!!! Sometimes I cry so much that i don't what to do!! We have been together for 4 years and 3 months and we've have never been apart from eachother so long so it really really hurts!!!=[

Aug 19, 2012
1 like
- PSforever
  Exactly! Its just been sad days for the past two. Doing anything makes me even sader because he'd be with me if he was here. I don't know when ill hear from him and its so hard. We haven't been together as long, only a year and 3 months but we practicially lived together and he's my only friend so it hurts so bad :( I don't know how I'm going to concentrate either all I do is think about him. I had orientation and could baraley keep from crying without him there. I'm so scared
  
  Aug 19, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  That's exactly how I feel!! I mean my bf left july 9 and the first 3 weeks were the worse... I won't say it gets easier but after a while you start getting use to it and becomes a little better but like for me theres times where im ok and there's days that I wake up andbjust want to cry cause knowing that he's not here and miss him do much.. But yeah the best thing to do is to try to distract yourself eventhough for me that really docent work cause whatever I'm doing I'm still thinking about him but it's better than not doing anything and just sitting there and think think and think cause that's how I would be andni would just cry cry and cry and felt like j couldn't take this pain anymore.. But once u receive first letter it helps.. My bf actually called me yesterday after not being able to talk to him over a month it was the best feeling ever they were only allow to talk for 20 mins but it was worth it.. If was nice hearing him tell me that he loves me and misses me .. So my advice is to always keep your cell phone with u cause he told me that the sergeants allowed them to call cause they had behaved so u dont when Hell call.. I was working with my bf called but good thing I had my phone cause when I felt it vibrate I checked and saw that it was him ANC just ran to the bathroom and stayed there for a while bug like I said it was worth it never been so happy go hear his voice.. When does your bf graduate?? where us he at??
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  Thats what im doing..staying busy. I always have my phone and its always on loud. Except now im at school so I have to keep it on silent but its on my lap so I can see if it lights up. He graduates from basic on sept 20. Hes at fort benning right now.
  
  Aug 20, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  Oh wow my bf is at fort Jackson but he graduates a day before yours on sept 19 I just don't I will be able to make it to his graduation.. Are u going to your bfs graduation???
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  I know a girl whose at Fort Jackson! That's awesome. You only have 30 days left! I hope you can make it. Fingers crossed! I'm praying i can make it to his. It's just a matter of what time I get there.
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  I mean I pretty much now already I won't be able to make it to his graduation due to having a strict dad. I'm 21 already but my dad is the type of dad who says " as long as you live under my roof you follow my rules" .. And yeah he told me I can't go cause it's too far and dangerous to go somewhere that I've never been too .. I even told him that I would take my mom but he said it's to far and dangerous.. So it sucks and won't see him till like dec..Your lucky you have the opportunity to go though.. Your parents aren't strict with you??
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  Awww I'm sorry. You'll still make it!! They're strict but with stuff like school and other stuff, luckily they're letting me make the drive by myself. His grandparents are the one freakin out about me driving
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  Well that's good that they are allowing you.. I meen if I were to go I would go in plane cause I live in CA.. How long is the drive over there? Where do you live?? If u don't mind me asking..=]
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  Did you say your bf is at fort benning or fort jackson ???=]
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- PSforever
  That's so far! Aww I'm sorry :/ I'm in flordia and he's at fort benning gerogia so thankful he's close.
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
- juliec91
  Wow he is very close to you! Yeah my dad told me that if he were to be closer he would probably let me go to his graduation.. Even your closer to where my bf is at then me..=] But oh well im still gonna continue begging my dad to let me go hopefully he changes his mind but I doubt but I'm still going to try! =]
  
  Aug 21, 2012
  1 like
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