Very Depressing DayYeah, just today me and my bf had a long talk about deployment and it's driving me crazy and i'm getting so depress about this pre deployment talk. He will be overseas soon and just last week he said that he already talked to a lawyer and called his mom about his will and it sounds crazy but theses kind of talks are really inevitable because no one can control what will happen in Afghanistan, yeah it seems quite a little safe there now but the fact that it is a country where most people hate foreign armies being there, I can't help but to worry and be scared. So we have to face some conversation where death instances are discussed and I can't help but to cry and be emotional about it. In the middle of discussing these matters he said this to me........
***let's say (God forbid) something was to happen to me um I just want you to know that even though sometimes we have ups and downs that part of any healthy relationship and even though I might get mad, or maybe make you mad that you really are special to me and I'll always love you weither I can do it here in person, or in spirit and if something does happen I want you to be happy..
and this is how i replied...
***whatever happens in the future, i'll always love you and i'll wait for ur safe return and pray to God everyday. I dont wanna have the thought of u dying but sometimes it's inevitable coz of ur job and the place where ur going.if ur gonna lose some parts and come home as vegetable, i'll still love u.but just please dont die
So how can I stop crying and not worry??!! I think this is too much for me to handle and no one in my family even understand how it feels like to have an army boyfriend.It sucks but really sometimes this kind of talks and being open is relieving for him because it is something that he has to face alone and just knowing that I will be there for him and wait for him to come home,gives him more strength and relief.
I just hate being so far away from him now, I wanna hug him tight, so that he will feel okay. We still both have to wait til next year just to see each other.so sad!!
imanasian 26-30, F 1 Response 0 Aug 19, 2012