How Do I Tell Him?

I really don't know how to start this off, but here it goes. My boyfriend (Chris) and I have been together for almost 2 years now. I love him so much and although I'm only 17, we have talked about marriage before. Before he contemplated proposing before he deployed or after he came home. That obviously didn't happen because he's deployed right now. But anyways, a couple of days ago, he Facebook messaged me and said something along the lines of, "Any chance you wanna get married soon?" My first reaction was YES! but...... I'm also just a senior in high school. So my obvious first question was how soon are we talking about? He said within 2 years of him coming back. So that means by the time I'm 20 if I wait for the full 2 years. I know when guys are in the army, they think about getting married and having a family, and I want to have all of those things with him, but I almost feel rushed. He has a plan for when he wants to get married and he really wants kids, but he needs to realize that I'm 3 years younger than him and that he needs to give me some more time to grow up and figure out what I want to do. I mean, yes I know I'm young but I know that I want to be with him. But I also have my own dream. He'll be coming home and he'll want his dream of being a dad to come true. But I want to go to college, and become a vet. That will take at least 8 years. Then I need to get my career started. I love him so much, but I don't want my dream to die. I definitely want kids but this is too soon. How do I make him understand that I want to be with him forever but that he needs to give my life some time to take off? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
rlevy rlevy
22-25, F
3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

i completly understand where your coming from im the same age in the same boat my army boyfriend is almost 4 years older then me and brings up marriage alot but i still feel young also and i need to live my life yeah i love him but im also young and i have dreams and i feel like i have to make a descions between the person i love most and my childhood experiences... your not alone in this at all... trust me!!!

Thank you so much, it's really nice when I can find someone who's going through exactly what I'm going through

Compromise and Sacrafice. Let's be honest, military relationships are based on sacrafice. Not saying that you have to give up your life, but let him know your plans, and if he can't understand your dreams, then maybe you should consider whats more important to you and if there is other ways to go about it.

2 years is far from now and you may feel different. maybe you should consider a long distance relationship if you feel that way but honestly you can't hide something like that. It has to be talked about. Also your life doesn't have to stop just because you marry someone in the military and having a career you can travel with is good! I know someone who left their fiancé to do what you want to do. She is in her 7th yr now, also long distance so it can work if you guys will work it out!

I know marriage won't stop my life, but he wants kids. I can't have kids and balance college out as well. But I don't want us to have to break up because of this. We have been a long distance relationship since we first started dating, so having the time together will be amazing, but I still want to do what I want