?vent?...im Just Confused =/

Right now I just really need to vent...Idk if I am just super upset or If i really JUST CANT deal with this. The past last two nights have been pretty ****** with me and my soldier...I thought maybe I've just been more emotional (it is about that time) or maybe he really is just being a *******..I NEVER would have thought that I would be sitting here questioning our relationship and deciding rather or not I should just throw it all away. Dont get me wrong I LOVE HIM TO DEATH and losing him would defiantly hurt me....like REALLY BAD..BUT! I just do not have patience like i used to....i mean i know things will be rocky at times but i hate for **** to carry on.

honestly my past relationship kind of left an ugly scare. I spent 3 years with someone who I knew I should have not spent the last 2 years with..I kept wishing I had left sooner because the dent in my heart just kept growing and i was stuck with feeling i didnt want anymore. after a year of finally getting over the past i vowed to myself to do things so much different in my future relationship...I have a fear of getting into deep with things only to have them come crushing down on me. Thats what i mean by patience...I'd rather be done and endure the pain now...rather then keep going only to endure pain later and have it be worse...OR EVEN WORSE we decide to get married and then im sitting looking at a divorce paper because I didnt leave sooner....I know some who may read this will say "wow only 2 days" lol but i expect that because people tend to not understand what i've been through I just hate being hurt I hate spending years with someone for nothing..

I have nothing to do with my past by my choice...but i do admit it is somethings i took with me mental wise from my pass that i should probably let go...I can be stubborn at time and hide emotions and push him away but i really just want to protect my heart ...its pretty valuable to me.. anyways this is going on the third night but i guess tonight he is upset because he didnt call...but he wrote on his bestfriend fb that they needed to talk...AND ONE THING I ABSOLUTELY HATE!!! is talkin to other ppl about OUR relationship problems when u havent even talked to me to try and work it out......
IDK IM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE..I JUST NEEDED A QUICK (SORTA QUICK) VENT I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO....i mean we've had arguments before and been angry with each other..but this time is different...this time makes me wonder about us.
purplelily13 purplelily13
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 7, 2012

Maybe its just for the moment but I really hope you guys talk to get things resolved!!

thanx..we will hopefully...I've had much time to think && know us being broken up is defiantly something i dont want.

Right, I can most definitely relate to that!