Upset.... Is It All In My Head? Is He Cheating? Or Am I Over Thinking This?!!!

If you have been together for awhile he had no reason to hide something as simple a concert. One day i received two phone calls. One from my brothers wife, one from his girlfriend. Turns our both there suspicions were correct. The day he got married he spent the night with his gf..... I didn't know about the gf but my info was in all his stuff so they both saved my number and contacted me later. It all took place when he came back for a week or so from over sea

Don't feed in to this trust your intuition bull ****, long distance relationships are hard on everyone and they create false insecurities especially when they are gone for so long.

I can relate I have a girlfriend in the NAVY, what makes it worse is the fact that she is surrounded by guys that are constantly hitting on her like a 9 to 1 ratio of men and women. They pull her cell phone number out of the deck log send her texts asking her out on dates, find out where she is on the deck log and follow her around, they send flowers, pizza, chocolates to her room. It's annoying that I am always waiting around for her calls and have to make myself available when it is convienent for her to talk. We live together but it has been rough while she has been away for the last 4 months. There's days when she is stressed out and in tears and I try my best to cheer her up or comfort her. It hurts knowing the person you love more than any other is dealing with all of this and there isn't much you can do for them. Instinctively you want to protect them . She deals with a lot of sexual harassment and he supperriors attack her if she tries to report it, it has gotten to teh point where she is either too scared or embrassed to say anything. Sometimes I get frustrated because it doesn't feel like she makes me as much of a priority as I do her.

It's been really hard because normally when she is home we do everything together. She felt uncomfortable with me going out all the time while she was gone, not because I had to but out of respect for her I stopped going out it's made the last 4 months pass by terribly slow. Not many people can relate to what I am going through because usually it's women sending their men off and not the man staying behind back at home. She checks in with me regularly we talk through out the day, video chat on Skype as often as possible, most nights we leave Skype on and fall asleep staring in to each others eyes. Sometimes I have this nagging suspicion that she is messing around with some guys, but I can't prove anything. 9 times out of 10 she proves me wrong without me even having to ask or say anything and I'm glad I never accused her because I would have made a total *** out of myself. The military keeps our soldiers busy, there is a lot of stress and responsibility. With battle buddies and the strict rules in place it's pretty hard for them to wander off with anyone of the opposite sex. I know it feels frustrating to have to give all your love and support and feel short changed a lot of times on the attention you would like to get but that's the way it is when you are involved with someone in the military. I would highly encourage holding off on anything that would create conflict while the two of you are at a distance, because it is hard to work through things when you are only a hang up away all one party has to do is refuse to answer the phone, and worst case scenario heaven forbid something happen to either one of you, would you like your last remaining memory to be an argument. Deal with it when he gets back, for now our role as hard as it may be is to remain understanding, trusting, faithful, supportive, and recognize the demands of our significant others responsibilities in the military. Distance can really mess up your thinking spread doubt and fears and once those things enter our brain they will eat at you. Focus on the positives and the things he does do to show you that he loves you. He must be making some effort there must be something that draws you to him focus on these things.

Well SouthernBell, I think you should talk to him when he gets home, and ask him those questions, get it all out in the open! Don't make yourself crazy with wondering. If you feel like something is wrong, then your feelings are probably right, you are not crazy! You have a beautiful heart and ther will be other men.

GET OUT of his shadow ... U have nothing to do with army or being his girlfriend. He is not worth army or U !!!! Person Cheating once will do it again and has habbit and art of liying and hurting without getting affected !!!

maybe its time that you and him take space, he just got back he doesnt need to feel sufficatied, he might have just thought it'd bother you and told you a white lie to keep from hurting your feelings but if yall have been together for the whole time he's been gone, maybe you should let him have his time with his friends and trust what he says if he is cheating and you can't get the idea out of your head you dont trust him and you need to end things, but you got to figure it out because you cant date someone you cant trust

He might not be cheating on you... but if the story is really like you say it is... (we're not getting his side) then i'd say that he has at least got his head turned by someone else... something else is making him comfortable... imho

you might be worrying too much, but there is a possibility that worrying could be causing him to lie and influence him to cheat. or the possibility that he is afraid of telling you the truth. you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.

If he's not cheating already he will sooner or later. It's no big deal, don't take it personally. We are hardwired to have multiple sexual partners. Some people repress it, and other people just do it. There is plenty of love to go around, if you don't let your jealousy and social taboos or stereotypes get itn the way you might even enjoy it yourself someday.

Your both very young not really the time to be making discions that are every lasting. But if he lied to you & you know that to be a fact that's more than enough reason for you to start looking at things differently the lie a lone is bad enough. Its the act of lieing.

Do something together, take a trip even if it's just for the weekend, but get him to yourself and rebuild the relationship. Flirtation after a long deployment is definitely a concern, but show him that there's so much more than that between you two. Getting time to yourselves though is really important

jealousy issues? - yeah you just dont assume without having the facts - until you have the facts to prove and you knew he was a soldier and you should be supporting him and you obviously called him a liar but have no facts to back up your claim so why dont you just do what a supportive woman does and support your man rather than assume things that may or may not be true

I really hope he's not doing anything to hurt your relationship but I don't blame you for being concerned. I worry about how they act when they get back sometimes. Not that they don't deserve to let loose a little, but it's not fair to forsake you in the process. I know a lot of girls who've gone through this. He long will you two be apart? When do you see him next?