One Last Hug

So I dropped him off this morning and I couldn't stop crying! I was being strong while he said his good-byes to family and friends earlier in the week, but this morning I just broke down. While we were in the car, I could tell that he was very nervous and we went to kiss but he was worried about kissing me because he thought that he was going to get sick and didnt want to get sick on me haha He is very goofy and was making some jokes to make me smile and laugh, but it was still so hard to see him walk away from me.

I had to fight with myself not to go back and run into his arms again after dropping him off. I just wanted one more hug from him. Just one more. I didn't want to let him go! I just went home into his bed and cuddled up with his blankets and pillows and tried to breathe him in. He was able to text me for a while until he had to go to processing and then the plane.

I am confident that he will do well and surpass his own potential, but at the same time, I just couldn't help but say, "I don't want you to go" as time came closer for him to leave, in which he replied, "Don't worry babe, I love you and it will be okay". I am torn because I don't want to be separated from him like this, but at the same time, I want him to be there because its what he wants to do and I know that it will make him happy even when he has to "drop and give them 20" lol I just hope that time goes by really fast!
ILoveMyGuardsman ILoveMyGuardsman
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

let's pray it goes by fast. have you written him any letters yet? I have about three short ones and I don't even have an address

haha yes I have, I dont have an address yet either, but I am hoping that I get it soon! He heard a lot of stories about how strict things are and idk if it was being over-exaggerated because i know its very strict, but according to him, he doesnt think that he is going to be allowed or have time to write, but i am hoping that he is wrong! lol

yeah my uncle said that when you are there you have to earn the right to make a phone call or write. it's mandatory for him to write his mom and give her his address. so she gets the first letter.

he doesn't really live with her anymore and I don't know if he even has her address, so i think that I would get the first one because I don't know if he really wants to talk to her lol (insert LONG dramatic story here lmao) so, if they don't really have a mother to write, are they allowed to write other people? like do you know if they have a choice?

I'm not 100% sure but I would think he should be able to write whoever he wants. they get one phone call from my understanding to let someone know their address. My boyfriend told me he was going to call his mom. in your case he would prob call you. that should be exciting for you.

yeah, I just feel so dumb because I feel like I know nothing that is going on, but when I talk to other people about the general stuff, they are like "how do you know so much?" but im the type of person that wants to know every detail about everything and i read all these other girls getting calls after about a week and everyday it gets closer to that point and i don't want to be dissappointed if i dont get a phone call

2 More Responses

Try to remember that he wouldn't want you to be a emotional roller coaster. He would want you to be happy. Try to stay busy, hang out with friends... Do something you enjoy. Stay calm and don't think. I know that's almost impossible to imagine but I am sure your strong and you will get threw this. My boyfriend is infantry he left 5 hours ago to Afghanistan on a 7 month deployment. This is all very new to me. I know how you feel. If my boyfriend saw me or knew I was crying it would make him upset. He would be understanding but he would find someway to make me laugh, those are the moments you should keep remembering right before you think your going to cry. Remember he would not want to see you sad or crying. I am very new to this site as well. I would give you my number if I knew how. Hang in there !!

yeah, its just hard thinking about it. thats what im trying not to do, but if i think about it too much then i just ge upset. and stephen (my boyfriend) just told me before he left when he was able to text me for a little bit that his base is supposed to deploy in january of 2014 to iraq so that is making me nervous too and thats a year away!