It's Tough, But...

Being an Army girlfriend is tough. When I see my friends with their boyfriends, I always find myself staring at them like a creep, wondering if they know how lucky they are to be able to be with their man everyday. At work during the holidays, women come in with their soldier in his ACU's, and I feel frustration that my soldier hasn't been granted leave but happiness for her getting to have her man for a few days. There are a lot of ups and downs; highs and lows. As much as we want them to, our friends who are single or in normal relationships will never understand the silent pain we endure. They'll never know about those times that we said "I'm going to the restroom" or "I need some fresh air" and we actually just needed a second to gain our composure because we were having a rough day. We wonder if we should talk to them about how difficult being in a military relationship can be or keep it to ourselves because we made the choice to take on this challenge.
It's lonely.
It takes patience.
Independence.
Compassion.
But mostly,
love.
The amazing thing about it is that, at the same time, it's incredibly easy. To be with a soldier requires an incredible amount of love for that person. And when you love someone that much, they don't seem so far away. Your time apart doesn't seem that long. And the prospect of being with him for a month, 2 weeks leave, a 4 day pass, or even just a weekend is enough to get you through the months apart. And we all know that we want to kiss whoever invented Skype. If we just remember that we still have our own lives to live, goals to reach, and things to do on our own, we can get through these months, this deployment, or this enlistment with strength.
Let him know you're doing ok.
Let him know you're proud of him.
Let him know you're praying for him.
Let him know you miss him.
Let him know you love him.
Let him know you're patiently waiting for him and that you'll see him very soon.
It's tough, but it's all worth it.
We're all going to be ok.
July2015 July2015
18-21, F
10 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Thank you for this. Sometimes the doubts just consume me and I can't see the love that we share in its simplicity, but this helped me realize that the good is worth the bad, it's definitely worth it.

Your post gives me a sense of comfort knowing that I'm not the only one going through this. I'm happy for you and your guy. He sure is lucky that he has you, very supportive and truly loves him no matter what it takes. More power to us!

Thank you! My Fiance just left for Afghanistan ! Its only been 2 weeks but it seems like a lifetime. We have a 15 month old daughter and im raising her alone. there are days i would do anything just to feel his touch, just to have his hand on my face telling me everything is going to be ok. I have so much anger sometimes for other women who get to touch their man... they get to fight with them. Some just take way to much for granted. When i dropped him off at the airport i asked him what i should do to help this process... what would he do... he said read, read about other experiences and learn about whats in store for me.... so i am! lol Thank you!

thank you for this. the past few days have been a little tough for me. my fiance is in Korea teaching ESL and even though its not exactly deployment its pretty close. ( I've been raised in the Air Force). Is it normal to get a little jealous that my other friends get to see their SO everyday? I think so. I saw my fiance for a couple semesters everyday before he graduated, moved back home, worked for a little bit and now he's overseas working. the last time I saw him was Jan. 4th. He left the week after. anyway, thank you so much.

Wow my guy just left and this is one of the best things I have read so far. Lucky even though I am just his fiancee right now his family is very supportive of us. Likewise my family is very negative but I tend to try to block them out. Lately I have taken on more shifts at work and even am working at another restaurant owned by the same person to make the days go by fasted and I have tried to keep myself occupied. I don't feel the need to go and hang out with people because they are not going through the same thing I am going through. We have been the closest of friends for 3yrs. I know I can get through it but its just some moments like you said when you have to step out or in my case be alone

I love this :)
A few of my friends don't understand what my relationship is like and say that we pretty much aren't even together because he has been gone the majority of our relationship. I know it just bothers them because they couldn't do the distance.
I have one friend who has an army relationship, but her boyfriend is National Guard and only leaves for Drill one weekend a month. She freaks out because their school and work schedules for this semester "isn't going to give them much time together". They will have their sundays free together and they will still be together every night.
My boyfriend is active and states away right now for AIT, so i don't get to see him anywhere near as much as she sees her boyfriend and she acts like i am going through nothing. He's been my bestfriend for the past 4 1/2 years! But i know one day we will get to be together again and everything will work out :) This is definitely encouraging!

Yeah, I have a friend who is in college a couple states away, so now she and her boyfriend are long distance and she thinks she understands what its like, but she has NO idea. She gets to have WAY more time with her boyfriend, even just on the phone, texting or Skyping than I do. So I get it, it can be frustrating. And some of my friends are the same,I feel like they don't even think I have a legitimate relationship because my boyfriend and I got together in February and he left in July, so like you, he has been gone for most of our relationship. Sometimes I just want to tell them that I probably have a stronger relationship than them because my relationship relies COMPLETELY upon communication, which a lot of couples lack. I'd like to see one of them do the things we girls in Army relationships have to do!

I definitely agree. I mean, I can see from other relationships perspectives where it is sucks not getting to see the other person, but they don't realize how much worse it can be.
I wake up at 4 every morning just to get a good morning text, how are you, off to pt, have a good day, texts. I have to get up at 6 to get start getting ready for school.
At night, I wait for 7 to roll around and hope he has a few minutes to spare from studying to text me and possible a phone call depending on how tired he is from the day.
It helped a lot that he & I were friends for a good while before we started our relationship, plus with that time he had this girlfriend-crazy!- so we are somewhat use to the not talking thing, but it still sucks!
My friend and her boyfriend have been together 2 years this month, she likes to boast and just pretend they are perfect. Which is whatever until she starts trying to say she is better than me. It's really hard to not say anything about it. I know in time we will make things work and she won't be able to act better. It sucks that I can't go to her if I feel down about things, because she's the closest person i know who can kind of relate.
Just have to make it through all this and then we can be with them in normal time intervals again :) Keep your eyes on the prize!

THANK YOU for this! My boyfriend just left for bct this week so its all new to me... it really is all about love. Been dealing a lot with people who think they "understand" or keep trying to give me advice but I will bookmark this and come back to it every time I feel like I can't do it anymore... thank you :)

That is the biggest compliment ever! :) Thank you, I'm so glad this helped you! BCT is really tough, but it makes you all the more grateful when he can finally call and text! Goodluck, you can do this!

That's so true! My fiancé has been gone for 4 months now, I've gotten to see him for a total of 14 days since he left which I'm grateful for. We FaceTime every night now since hes in AIT and it really helps. It is kind of hard still not knowing when you can physically be with him again. Your post really did help though! Some nights I just want to cry but then I remember that I have to stay strong not only for myself but for my soldier.

I'm so glad it helped :)

this is definitely what i needed! my boyfriend just left for basic training about a week ago and i've been having a rough time adjusting. your post made me feel a lot better, though! thank you!

I'm so glad! :) Basic, so far, was the hardest for me. You'll get use to him being gone and getting your first letter will be like Christmas! Once he finishes BCT and can make regular phone calls and Skype, it's really nice. :)

yeah, we started our relationship long distance, so not being able to see him all the time i can handle... the whole not being able to talk to him at all thing is what's getting to me! i just can't wait for bct to be over! thanks again :)

Of course! :)

my boyfriend just left too... day 5, kind of having a rough time with it but thankful that there are others I can come talk to who know what I'm going through, we'll hang in there! :)

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you are an amazing woman.. gosh this is exactly what i needed to help me get through everything right now!! THANK YOU

I'm so glad it helped :)

It really has. You just gave me that little push i needed after a few hard times with my soldier.

I know exactly how you feel. The tough times and moments of wanting to walk away are inevitable. But it's worth it!

Yes ma'am it is. again thank you

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Reading this made me tear up! You are so dead on. There have been times that I think I should walk away but the love I have for my soldier is so much stronger than that. THANKS for posting this!

Aww I'm so glad you can relate. :) I think we have all had those time where we want to walk away because life would be a lot simpler, but then we realize it would be a lot more empty too!