My Soldier

Monday morning my boyfriend of almost one year left for basic training (Infantry) in Fort Benning Georgia. Early that morning he picked me up for classes one last time (he took me most mornings) so that we were able to have one final goodbye. The fact that he was leaving never quite hit me until Saturday. Sunday was fine. Monday I tried to be strong for the both of us, unfortunately I wasn't able to keep myself together on the way to my classes. I think the best quality that my boyfriend has is the fact that he's able to make me laugh no matter how serious or upsetting the situation may be. So, he made the whole situation seem lighter than it truly was, which made it easier for me to accept the fact that he was leaving. My last words to him were "I love you, see you in April" and with that we kissed goodbye and he drove off. That was probably one of the hardest moments I have ever experienced. Something else that made it a little easier was that we had already done this 'song and dance' once before in early September. He originally didn't make it through MEPS due to a health issue, and was sent home. This brought about a lot of tension between us and about two months later he broke up with me, unsure of the path he wanted to take to start his life. I thank God so much for the timing because had he left in September I don't think we were strong enough to make it through the draining 14 weeks of being apart. Many things would have been left unsaid. The fact that we both had time apart during the break-up allowed us both to reevaluate our lives and made us realize what we wanted...and we both wanted one another. Getting over that bump in the road, and getting back together, made us the strongest we have ever been. This is when he decided to reenlist which takes me back to my story. I was able to talk to him on his way to Buffalo and that night when he stayed in a hotel. We talked about a million and one things but he kept mentioning that he was nervous to be sent home again...I knew he would make it through though and I reassured him. The next morning I talked to him on the phone before he left for MEPS and wished him the best of luck. Later, while in class I got a text from him saying that he had made it through! I was and still am so happy and proud of him mainly because he was determined to follow him dreams of being a soldier. But, a little part of me was upset. I didn't want him to be sent home but I kept thinking if he did we would be together, and that's all I wanted and still do want. It's hard not stepping on his toes and getting in the way of his dreams but it's hard being away from someone who is such a huge part of your life. So, the next time I talked to him was when he reached the airport. I wished him a safe flight and he promised to call that night. I got a text when he was getting off of the plane and after that he wasn't replying...most likely because he was on the bus headed toward Fort Benning. I got one more message from him around midnight saying "I love you, please don't forget that. I'll call you as soon as I can". The next night I got a phone call from him because his sargent was nice enough to let him use his phone one last time until it needed to be taken. He was in his room that he's sharing with about 20 other guys. While talking to him I broke down over the phone and he said that he regretted going and that he never thought he'd miss me this much. He began to break down in front of all the guys in his room while he was on the phone with me and I just felt terrible. It's nice to know that he loves me that much, where he doesn't care what others think when it comes to his feelings towards me. After talking on the phone he was able to text me, said he can call once this weekend, and told me he loved me. As of right now this is the last contact I had with him, but that phone call has been able to get me through all of last night and today so far. I also found out while on the phone with him that his basic training doesn't officially start until this coming Friday, so I will not be seeing him until Early May. One thing that my boyfriend says that keeps sticking with me is something he sent in a text saying "Right now it's like we're being shot at from behind bullet-proof glass, this experience can't hurt us...we're too strong" Something about that is quite comforting to me. These past few days have been hard but I'm looking forward to his call though it may be his last. I'm also looking forward to the letters that are soon to come. The main reason why I joined this site is because there's no one that I know, that understands this same feeling. Most of my friends have told me to brush it off or in nice terms... to suck it up and quit talking about it. At least that's the impression I get from them. I need to talk to people who understand! If you're reading this and are in a similar situation, maybe you have advice, or just want to talk...feel free to message me. This is all new to me right now and I would love someone to talk to!
Epentycofe Epentycofe
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 17, 2013

My boyfriend is also Infantry at Fort Benning, left almost 2 weeks ago. He was in reception for awhile, just left for boot camp yesterday so he's exactly a week ahead of yours! The first week to week and a half is the worst. The first few days of reception was okay cause he snuck his phone for 1 or 2 quick texts when he got a chance, but once the phone gets taken its hard. But the minute you get that first letter is the best feeling ever! For me it came at the perfect time, almost a week after his phone was taken and I hadn't heard from him. I feel like that was the time I was most vulnerable and most sad cause there was no contact whatsoever. Just trying to adapt to this "new" life is so hard, and the biggest thing I've learned while he's away is that nobody gets it and nobody ever will because the majority of people will never have to go through the things we as army gfs/couples face right now and in the future. So you kind of hit a breaking point where you miss your other half, still have to function in your "normal" life and deal with everyone around you not understanding! :( But even being a week ahead of you in all this I promise you it gets better. The last day my boyfriend was in reception I got his first letter and later that night I got to talk to him for 45 minutes. Can't even begin to tell you how much that helped me, and I'm hoping you will get the same opportunity cause it sounds like they are the same MOS, etc. It really just made the bad days I had before that all worth it. He told me after week 9 he'll have a 36 hour leave so I'm planning on flying down there to see him I hope! People think its crazy to go for such a short time but for me and him its worth it :) It seems like the letters take forever to get here though, I've only gotten that 1 letter so far and he told me he wrote everyday since then. Anyways, there's lots of ups and downs in all this, and if you need anyone to talk to you can always talk to me cause we are in the exact same position almost! Hang in there :) And I love how you said he has the ability to make you laugh in any situation, that's the same with mine and I still got a lot of his humor through his first letter which was so comforting. It really truly does take special couples to go through this because you need so much love, support and commitment. In some ways I think we're spoiled because how many people can say their bf is training to be a US soldier? Many couples just go through the motions of everyday life and never stop to appreciate what a text message, phone call or letter or even just a hug really means. But we're all in this together! :) And we'll all get through it somehow!

Thank you so much(: I really do believe that him and I are meant to be together. And yeah I think that's the hardest part for me, not being able to see or talk to him after being with him pretty much everyday since we met it march last year. And that's so awesome you are able to talk to him everyday! I get what you mean though, I'm not old enough to follow him to wherever he ends up getting based..since I'm still in school. I feel absolutely horrible crying on the phone with him): I'm supposed to be strong for him because I know that he's not able to be strong and be focuses if he knows I'm not happy :/ but I deffinitely try to tell him every chance I get, how proud I am of him! And wow 7 months? That's crazy! His basic training will be about 14 weeks which starts next Friday so I have awhile lol but I totally agree, all of this is going to be worth it in the end I just know it. Thank you so much for that, it was honestly really helpful(: and congrats to you for staying strong through your experience. Not just anyone can handle things like this, it takes a truly dedicated and strong person to go through this. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend, you two also sound so perfect for eachother!

Your story really touches me and you two sound perfect for eachother! My boyfriend has been in the Air Force for two years with only two more years left. I've been with him for 7 months, so I didn't have to go through the no talking basic training part. But his parents and friends told me it was the hardest thing to go through. Right now though, since this is my first long distance relationship, the hardest thing is not being able to be around him every single day. When i met him was when he was home for a while, and we actually met on facebook but found out our parents have known eachother for years. I know we don't have the same kind of bond as you and your boyfriend, but if i have just half as much love for my boyfriend as you have for yours, i know you can get through this. I'm so grateful i have the chance to be able to skype with him everyday and I can't even imagine not being able to talk to him, but i still understand the loss that you're feeling. The hardest thing for me is knowing that he's only about 8 hours away from me, but i'm not old enough or able to leave school to go down and move in with him. It really hurts me to know that i upset him when i cry on the phone because i miss him so much, but i tell him everyday that I am so proud of him and proud that he's going after his dreams. I haven't seen my boyfriend since we started talking, so about 7 months ago, and it honestly kinda just feels like i saw him yesterday. I'm not exactly sure how long basic training is but he will be home before you know it. I know it's hard for you, but just be his biggest fan and supporter. I remember breaking down one night on the phone to my boyfriend and saying i'm sorry for not being strong for you, but he said back to me- don't you worry, i'm strong enough for the both of us baby- and that was so comforting that I wanted to give him the same support. It's really hard being in this relationship, but it's so worth it and there's lots of people that are going through the same thing that you can talk to!