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I Am a United States Army Girlfriend

Help :/

By: Raa2013
Written on February 8th, 2013
ok so if you havent read already.. my man asked me to marry him when he came home for the weekend about 2 weeks ago.. and well he has wanted me to move out there but without it being me going to a college or university out there wer didnt know how we would afford it... today i was joking around with him today about it cuz he really wants me to go out there and live with him.. so i said i mean unless you wanna fast forward our relationship and get married now and well he said wait.. what if we did, we could get married in july when my leave will be after this up coming one, then at the end of the summer when your summer job is over you could move out here with me i should be promoted by then and we could get an appartment and start our life together.... before the thought of getting married when he proposed i was like of coarse i love you more than anything and it will just be a long engagement... but after his weekend here he realised how much he missed me over the deployment and he knows he doesnt wanna spend the next 2 years only getting to see eachother when he has leave... and i graduate hs in june... but im so scared thinking im too young, what people are going to think.. im NOT pregnent, which is going to be everyones assumtion if we want to get married this young and this soon.. i feel like we are moving too fast and i dont know what to do.. i want to marry him i truely do and i wanna live out there with him... but i wish we could have a test run of living together cuz then i would know we could live together well and not it be a mess.. idk what to do... what my heart and what my head are say are completely oppiset and i dont know what to do.. any younger woman looking at living with or marring their men? anyone got any advice? :/ i just dont know what to do...
By: Raa2013
Age: 18-21 , Female
125 people have read this story

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8 responses
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    amandavang
    amandavang

    wow. you're over there 'thinking',, if my man asked me..it would be a definite YESS!

    Feb 15
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    Emarmygirl
    Emarmygirl

    I am in the same kind of situation you are. My soldier and I have been together for 9 months and he is really intent on getting married. He will go to AIT this summer and he would really love to get married before he leaves but he knows that it would be way to hard to plan everything because I am in college. His next idea was to get married in the winter during my Christmas break. Don't get me wrong I would love to marry him as soon as possible, but there are so many things that worry me. I worry about making our families upset because we are still young, I worry about things going downhill when we live together because we really haven't been together very long and I don't know how we would work being around each other all the time. Hopefully we can get everything worked out and make it work, but it might take more time then what he is hoping for.

    Feb 13
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      Raa2013
      Raa2013

      sounds just like me.. but me not wanting to get married right now is making him second guess me, like he thinks that i must like someone out here or im cheating or im jut being selfish.. and he is honestly driving me away.. i love him to death and im not leaving just yet because i know he has PTSD cuz he just got home from afgan but he is just not bbeing ok right now.. so i dont even know where we stand

      Feb 14
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      Emarmygirl
      Emarmygirl

      I would suggesting being very specific about your concerns about getting married. Keep talking it out with him. My solider is very understanding about the reasons why I'm nervous about getting married, but he as well second guesses me as well because of it. Just make sure he knows your not going anywhere you just need a little more time to think everything through. :) hope this helped

      Feb 15
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      Raa2013
      Raa2013

      im glad that you know what this is like.. i have told him all the reasons and we are trying to work threw stuff right now and figure out we want and what we need.. he is starting to understand and respects how i feel about college and my family and my friends... not wanting to pick up all my oppertunities and move to the other side of the country where i have no one at all... thats too scary too me...

      Feb 22
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    armygf101312
    armygf101312

    You just need to be completely honest and tell him exactly how your feeling. You shouldn't feel rushed to be married and you don't sound like your ready which is perfectly ok!! I'm sure he'll completely understand, I mean yeah he maybe a lil upset about it since it sounds like he really wants it to happen but he needs to respect your feelings and wishes too. For me personally, no my soldier and I are not getting married soon or nothing but I'm flying down to where he is stationed and I'm gonna be spending a week there, for us that's gonna be our test of how well we are compatible to say since our relationship has always been long distance and we've only been together in person for one day. We both love each other dearly and are super excited for it. Maybe plan a week to do that if possible with him. Discuss the idea with him, because a test run is always a good thing! And some people say its better to live together first before marrying because then you really learn about that person (just what I've heard). But again just tell him what you thoughts are and that you guys should wait a year or two or however long it needs to be. Best of luck!! (:

    Feb 10
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      kellner27
      kellner27

      You could do a long engagement.my friend cousin engaged younger then me only 18 and won't get married for couple years.but do what in your heart

      Feb 11
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      Raa2013
      Raa2013

      i am going out to where he is stationed in about two weeks for the army ball out there... but that only for the weekend... and then he comes home for leave about a week and a half later, and that will be for about a month... we are tellin our families about our engagment then.. we will be spending every night together and most days, as a little test but it wont be the same cuz i have my family and he will have his as well, cuz we all live in the same area (10 min from my house to his house)... its funny i spend more time with his family than with him.. but i talked to him about it tonight.. and he is all torn up about it... he wants to talk about it when he is home.. even though i am kinda planing on signing the papers to go to the college ive wanted to go to for over a year now... i even went to a summer high school program there, i really really want and need to go to college... im only 18 im not ready to get married... but it seems he doesnt get it :'( im so fustrated....

      Feb 11
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