Challenging Year Yet So Worth the Love
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and he has been deployed for four and a half months and this is our first deployment. We started dating in January and we found out that he had to change his MOS ,before deploying in August, in March he was gone for two months. He was able to come home for a month before leaving to train for deployment for another almost two months. I flew to see him for his 4 day pass before he left for Iraq and it was a constant battle not to cry my eyes out. He will be home for his R and R leave in February and I am so happy .. he was able to switch with one of his friends to be able to come home for our birthdays.
He has been nothing but understanding about everything that I feel all the worries, doubts, and fears. We talk everything out and it is hard for me not to be able to talk to him when I am freaking out worried about him. I really do not like that the communication is almost completely on his end and all I can really do is email. I love when he is able to call me .. it feels like a huge weight is lifted off me to know that he is safe. Sometimes I have nightmares about him and it is just so hard to be able to do nothing about it.
He has told me that he would like to retire with the army and it is something that scares me. I love him with all my heart and I really want to be with him but at the same time I am terrified that something is going to happen to him and my world will be gone. I am so used to being indepent and not having to worry about anyone but myself and then to find someone that I feel so in love with and not have any control is so hard. We got so close so fast and I am so close with his family (I have known them since I was twelve) that I really kind of feel silly to bring this up.
None of my friends understand anything about dealing with a deployment. Their biggest relationship fears is being apart for a month during winter break or not hearing from their boyfriend for a couple hours. They have told me that I was nuts for staying with him throughout this process so far. I just laugh and tell them that when we are together the love that we feel for eachother makes this time apart seem completely worth it.