Should I Be Worried?

I need some advice on something.  I find it hard to ask advice from friends because they really can't relate.  Anyway my boyfriend and I have been together over a year now.  He is currently stationed at a base in another state so we're doing the long distance thing.  It's working wonderfully.  We are very much in love and beginning to plan a future together.  Well before I met him he was friends with a married couple that lived on the same base.  His friend *Bill got deployed.  While Bill was deployed my boyfriend became good friend's with Bill's wife.  Unfortunately, Bill was killed while deployed.  My bf told Bill's wife that he would be there for her whenever she needed.  Well, they're starting to hang out more and more and recently he spent the night at her house talking to her and recently she asked him to come babysit with her.  He explains that he feels weird, and he's just doing it because he promised her. I know he loves me and he always tells me everything that he does.  I trust him immensely and I know he's not cheating.  I feel so sad for this woman because she lost her husband and I can't even imagine losing my bf, however I am experiencing a lot of jealousy because she is spending time with him and he is able to be there for her, while he cannot be here for me at all times and spend time with me due to the distance.  I feel like I'm being completely irrational, which I am.  It's so dumb to be jealous of somebody who just lost their name tag.  Is there anybody that can relate to me or make me feel better?!  Please give me your honest opinion about this.

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4 Responses Jan 22, 2009

I think I can speak for everyone on here by saying anytime, that's what we're here for! Friends & family are great but nothing can be like people who are going through the same things. You have to be a strong person to live the lives we do & no matter how strong you may be there's always a breaking point. That's when we step in to help! I've found so much comfort in knowing I have the support of everyone here to get me through the rough patches & so do you! Always know we're here for you no matter how silly you may think you're feelings & fears may be... there's always someone right there with you that is feeling or has felt the same way you are. Pls feel free to message or IM me anytime... jessica17bna. I've got yahoo IM that goes right to my phone!

You guys are awesome...and right! When I talked to him today I let it all out. We have such an open and honest relationship that I couldn't help it. He explained that the reason he was being honest with me was because he didn't want me to worry. We talked everything out and I feel SO much better. Thanks again. It's really nice to hear the feedback from people who can relate or easily put themselves in my place.

I know I would feel the exact same way if I were in your shoes! But the fact he did say he felt weird about the situation does say something. If you're completely honest with your aprehension & uneasiness of what's going on I'm sure he will respect your feelings. It's got to be an unimaginable experience for her & he probably feels obligated to help her through this. And I'm sure his decision to help & be there for her has a lot to do with how he hopes someone would be there for you in the same way if the rolls were reversed. Your gut instinct will never steer you wrong & if you know you've got nothing to worry about with your bf actions find comfort in that. You can't help but be jealous but be honest & talk to him about things... but also let him know you understand why he's trying to help her. I'm sure he will understand your concerns & take them to heart. I'm here if you need anything!

I feel sorry for that women to BUT I think that you shouold tell your bf everything you just said on here! <br />
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That while you are very very sorry for her lose and that you support him being a noble man and keeping his word to her and everything BUT you are feeling very uncomfortable about all of it...that you know he won't cheat on you and you trust him completly.<br />
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Everything will be ok you just need to tell him how you are feeling!<br />
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Let me know if you need anything!