Marrige Kinda.. Mabey..

k sooo this is kinda hard and weird  for me to talk about but.. here we go.

soo i love love love my boyfriend. we have been together for a year and a half and he is everything to me. i always hoped we would eventually get married and now, well something happened. but its not the way i thought it would go..

we ahave been trying to prepare for him leaving, you know spending lots of quality time together talking laughing things like that.

well yesterday he was telling me about the benifits of being married and the fact that i would get to come move to were he is  and things like that.

i dont think he is quite ready for that commitment yet.. you know to acctually give me that title... so he was asking me if i thought it would be a good idea to get married just legally and wait till later down the line to really really get married..

ouch. at one end i love the idea of getting to follow him and be the one his stuff goes to but at the other i believe marrage is a sacred thing.. even just legal paperwork type of marrage.. and i wanted to hold that special for when he dose feel ready to honor me with that title..

what do you think?????

newnewnew newnewnew
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 15, 2009

SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME.<br />
and guess what the first letter i got after he was in basic, he asked me to marry him.<br />
Of course i want to marry him and spend the rest of our lives together, but can i give up my life here? i would have to leave everything behind<br />
i have so many questions, plus i always dreamed of a big wedding with lots of people dancing ya know the whole 9 yards, but if i do chose to get married to him, it would have to be in the 2 weeks that he gets to come home after basic, thats not enough time..its so hard!

just follow ur heart :)

These girls have amazing advice. You just need to do what feels right to you. Becuse your love is strong, you'll just become closer as a couple through all of this. Marriage can wait if that's truly what you want. Just be honest with your man and I'm sure you will figure out what's best for both of you. Good luck!

my boyfriends contract is over in 3 years, but when that comes around i'll just be finishing college, and personally i'm not going to be ready for marriage by then<br />
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after that, hes enlisting for another for years, and which point ill be 24 and feel more ready for marriage.<br />
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however, ive talked to him many times about wanting to do the whole ocurt ohuse marriage once his contracts over and than save the big wedding for when im older and in more of a place to move onto a base with ihm, etc.<br />
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i think that you should talk to you boyfriend about how you feel, because obviously marriage is different for everybody, and if you'd rather wait for your big wedding than that's what you should do<br />
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either way, it sounds like you have your soldiers heart and im sure you'll both be able to find a way to compromise

Also everyone in my fam told me to just marry him at the courthouse but i dont wanna do that and niether does my bf...we wanna wait tell its right you know?

My soldier thought that way to. But I didn't want to get married in the chourt house or just get married to have the benefits.We are not married and i still got all his stuff that needed to be sent home and I am the 1st one contacted if something happens;so that is all possible without being married. And really I want to get married to my guy,but I wanted to know that he wanted to get married because he loves me and not for any other reason. And I figured if we could make it through this then we could deal with being married. And I think that most people who get married right before their guy leaves are nuts. Because both of you guys are going to change and be diffrent at the end.Good Luck, God Bless

honestly.... tell him exactly that. it sounds like the two of you could potentially be ready for that soon, just not right now. and he can legally arrange to leave you his things or to be notified if something happens to him, without you needing to be married. if you have any doubts, i STRONGLY advise against it. if he'll be ready later, and it matters that much to you, you both can wait :)