A Million Emotions All Rolled Up In a Ball

Well, my name is Amanda and I'm from PA. Any PA girls out there? My boyfriend, Nick and I have a funny past. We met when he started going to my high school in duting our senior year. There was something I liked about the dorky, goofy kid right away, but I couldn't tell what. We dated for awhile, but life, school and graduation pulled us apart. We saw eachother here and there for the next year. Next thing I heard, he randomly joined the army and was leaving for basic. We had our separate relationships. After he joined, I found myself seriously missing the crap out of him. Whenever he would come home to visit, the connection would be there, and we would hang out all the time, but neither of us had the guts to say "hey, lets try this again." Well, about 3 years and a very long 15 month stint in Iraq goes by with this back & forth game until I can't stand it anymore, and after seeing him during xmas break, I confessed that I loved him all these years.. I can't keep my mind off him. To my suprise, goofy kid admits that he has loved me all this time too.

Well that leads us to now. We are getting along amazingly, and i love him more than I have ever felt before. I know he's the one I want to share my life with. I just found out this week that he's not clearing the doployment to Afganistan. I just can't believe I finally have another chance to be with the man I love so much, and now he's being taken away again. I know I can trust myself to be faithful to him, but I know it's going to kill me having to wait another year to actually start my life with him. It's bad enough that I only get to see him maybe every month or so. *sigh* I'm hoping for a miracle.

Po0f Po0f
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 24, 2009

that's almost the exact same thing that happened with my bf and me. having to wait to basically "start" the relationship is killer, but its going to be alright- we'll make it through this one day at a time :)

It will be ok, you just have to take one day at a time...do not think about the entire time you wont be able to see him, that will drive you nuts. i try to make my battles as small as possible. Mine has 3 more years until he is out. If i think about it all at once, i cry uncontrollably. instead i think of it in months, or even in weeks. i feel that if i can make it through each day of the week to the weekend i am doing ok. i know it sucks that you finally get to have him and he goes away, but think about how fun and exciting it will be when he gets back. and he will be able to talk with you at night and send email and letters. just hang in there! we are all here for you!