I'm So Confused...

So last week I posted an story talking about how in love I was with my soldier and how life wasn't going so well and what not. ANYWAYS, so tonight he called me and he was really pissy, so i was like, babe, go eat something and call me back later, because that usually makes him feel better. So he eats, does some marathon training and then calls me back a couple hours later and he's still acting weird. Swearing all the time, making everything I say into some sexual joke. And yeah, he does do that, I'm not gonna say the army has had the best impact on him morally, but usually he's never this bad. I would try to tell him about something that happened to me today, and it was kinda serious and I was embarresed by it, and he made it all into a completly rediculous joke. So I called him out on it, asked him why he was being like that, and he wouldn't tell me, said he wanted to go kill someone (not seriously of course), so i said maybe we'd talked enough for the night and told him I had to go.

A few minutes later I got a txt from him saying "Sorry i can't be perfect". To which I replied "No, thats not it. God know, I know your not perfect. Just not as fun to talk to when everything I say you make dirty."  And then he stoped txting me. But I felt terrible, because I love him, even though I might not always like him, so i txted him again saying "I don't like this...i don't like you being mad at me. I'm sorry, i didn't mean to get upset with you. Please don't be mad at me..." Then he txted me back, and this is where I'm so confused saying "I just dont think you know what you got yourself into and you really probably cant handle being in a relationship with me."

I tried to tell him that wasn't it. That I loved him and respected his decision to join the army and that yeah, it does suck that he's not with me and yeah it's not always gonna be a bed of roses, but that the good days more than make up for the bad days and that even if I hated everything about his job, it wouldn't matter because I love him and there's nothing that can change that. Then he said "Don't have me cause I know its easier to be single..." I asked him what he meant, what he wanted, and he said "I don't know"

Guys, I'm so confused. I love this man, with everything within me. He's my everything. And i'm getting the feeling that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He's told me that some days it would be easier if we wern't together, but that he didn't want to not be together, just that it'd be easier. I thought I understood what he meant, but now...idk. Now i feel like he just wants to give up. He told tonight that he hopes he can get based in Korea and that he wouldn't mind spending at least 2 probably more years there. Korea, the one place that I couldn't stay with him.

Can anyone help me understand what's going on?

mgrocker mgrocker
18-21, F
7 Responses Mar 5, 2009

iam soo happy that yall are back together and that everything is back to normal. and dont worry these are a bunch of amazing girls that will always be here for you [[including me]] and we gotta support one another and im so glad yall are alot stronger it took alot of strength to try n let go of someone love and you tried really hard to even though it was hurting you. your amazing. and iam so happy for you. :) stay strong. ever need to talk im here

Thank you all so much. The past few days have been a roller coaster for me. My guy got his papers on wednesday saying that the next 2-3 years of his life will be spent in Korea. After that, it was all downhill. His way of dealing with it was to tell me that he couldn't do "this" anymore and that he didn't want to have any contact with me. Later that night he called and told me that he just wanted to say goodbye. Since then he hadn't talked to me for 3 days and finally tonight he called and said that he was way wrong and that he couldn't believe he'd hurt me like that. That he didn't know how to deal with his orders and so he'd just shut down. Apparently last night he went and got wasted and ended up making a video in front of all his battles about how much he missed me, and that when he'd watched it this morning he knew he had to make things right. <br />
Meanwhile, of course, I was dead. I mean, I physically couldn't function right. I feel like I've just come out of a fog. I'm not mad at him. I don't think that would be right at all. I can't judge him for this. I'm only so thankful that things are back to the way they were, and if anything, we're stronger than ever.<br />
Thanks again ladies for all your help and support. I'm so glad y'all are here. =)

he thinks you won't be happy, and that he can't make you happy being so far away, and he worries about hurting you. so he picks a fight with you, almost proving to himself that he is hurting you (even tho its just bc hes being a ***** for the moment), and that your relationship can't handle it. it's a coping mechanism, most men outgrow it eventually when they realize their woman really loves them and isn't going to leave them and crack under the pressure. i hope it's just a phase for him too.

To me it sounds like he knows your hurting and its hard for him to go thru with this without hurting you. he obviously is hurting too. dont think he doesnt want you its just that he does want either of you to hurt.

he just wants you to be happy and he thinks having you wait for him aint gonna make you happy. yano? but he is daeling with this in a bad way. he is trying to push u away so it wont hurt as much but truly its hurting more than ever, just let him know your there for him and waiting isnt as bad as it seems sometimes. and that you would rather wait for him than not have him in your life. thats all i got babe.

yea this sounds like he is just scared or worried about being far and is just dealing it in a really bad way. Sometimes in their minds, these guys feel like they are holding us back from living and feel like its their way of protecting us from all that is going on.<br />
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At the same time though, this gives you a chance to figure out if this kind of like, with this particular guy is truly what you want and will make you happy. If it is then you should just be patient with him and always supportive and consistent in how you talk to him, always remind him you care and are there for him. If it is meant to be he will come around and realize how lucky he is!! Good luck and stay strong

It could be his way of dealing with being so far away. He could be trying to push you away because it hurts so much having you so far away. I would just be supportive and let him know you are there for him.x