Newly Dating

So, I met my guy through my older brother since he is the guitarist in my brothers band.  We had been friends for about 7 months and just started dating right before he left for Fort Benning in January.  None of our friends knew that we were dating since everything between us happen really quickly and then he left.  Well now that he is gone, I've told my brother and everyone has found out.  Needless to say things have been a little difficult since my brother is not happy I'm dating one of his friends. (My brother and I didn't have the best relationship as kids and we are just now building it as adults)  He has been telling me some things about my guys past, before we became friends, and to calm my fears and concerns, I've written my guy 2 letters with my concerns.  Now before my guy left we both knew that this would happen and I would have to deal with this by myself, I just didn't know that it would be this hard.  I'm a true believer that people can change and what happened in the past should remain in the past, as long as it doesn't repeat itself.  So, in my last letter I said exactly that but I also wrote that if he felt that having his past shoved in my face was too hard he could walk away from this relationship and me.  I've written others letters since that one but I haven't heard back from him in regards to that letter.  (He's written my 2 times in response to previous letters)  So, I'm feeling that I've made such a stupid mistake and feeling really down.

Sorry for the longness of this, I just felt I needed to talk about this and see if anyone else has made a stupid mistake and made it through.

Thanks for listening.

dsgirlie494 dsgirlie494
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Thanks for your comments! And yes, as I said before, the past is in the past with he and I. We just both agreed that we would be honest with each other since we are so new and he wants to know how I'm feeling about everything. Yes, it's to clear the air or whatever and I think it's better to get it out now rather than later when he's on leave and we spend all of our time on serious stuff rather than the good stuff. Anyway, thanks again.

Its definitely hard to try and form and start a relationship thats so limited in communications. I sympathize with your situation. But at the same time...i think its a rather bad time to be shoving this stuff in his face. I know that your concerned with it, and your dealing with him being gone and your brother making you doubt and everything and it feels like your doing this all on your own. But if i were you i wouldnt expect a positive letter from your boyfriend. Hes dealing and adjusting to a lot in BCT. they barely let them sleep, and smoke them over the littlest things. The last thing i would want if i was there is my boyfriend bringing **** from my past up.<br />
But i know you just wanna clear the air, and sometimes things just work out this way. But if i were you, i would accept that my boyfriends past is the past. We do things we regret, and things that looking back, we ask ourselves what the hell?<br />
but his letter writing is probably just really limited, especially depending on the stage of BCT hes in. Some COs are a lot stricter about it than others, and are more keen about taking away free time. So he might just not have had time to lately. Keep your chin up, girl. It'll work out and you'll get that letter :)<br />
<br />
thats my 10 cents

as far as i've ever been concerned, as long as my man's feelings for me are real and he has good intentions, his past is the past, no questions asked. i hope that's the case for your man, but it is good you were honest with your brother, who i'm sure is just being a brother. unfortunately, the lonely part comes with the territory. you guys will figure ways around it, like letters/phone/email depending on where he is and what hes doing. where is he and what's he doing, lol?