I Just Need to Vent!

I love my soldier...so much. He's my everything. I cant stand being away from him. We got engaged during his holiday leave from AIT, the only catch...I have to finish school before we get married. This is the only way both of our families will be 100% happy with this. I have about another year and a half to go to get my BA. He's leaving for deployment in a few months which is going to be for a year. So when he comes back we'll be almost ready for a wedding. The only thing im concerned about is...Am i ready for a millitary life? Im so scared, scared of being alone for the next deployment...being far from my family...of missing my friends...being alone with a child(which could be a possibility)...all these stupid what ifs are scaring me silly. Im even reconcedering a new major, or culinary school, or taking 6 years for a 4 year diploma. Im scared of life...i love my soldier...im just scared. I know he's the one, i've known since we were kids. He's my everything.

Crislovestom Crislovestom
18-21
5 Responses Mar 11, 2009

Thanks girls...u guys keep me going strong.

Is it weird that I'm kind of looking forward to a millitary life? I mean, not the being alone for months/years on end of course that's gonna be terrible. But I'm kind of excited to move around alot...idk...

I think thats its perfectly natural for you to worry about all these what ifs. But dont give up your dreams, especially if hes gonna be deployed for a year anyway. Keep on the career track thats gonna make YOU happy, or you'll regret it in the future. <br />
But take a deep breath, and dont focus so much on the future. Keep your sight on whats going on now, and take it as it comes. When you make it through his first deployment (and you will), you'll realize that you ARE strong enough to be a military wife, and you CAN do this. <br />
Ask your DF his opinion on all the things your worrying about. Then figure out the things you need to decide now, and leave the rest to figure out when the time does come.<br />
Keep pushin on, girl. Your as strong as any of us :] and we're all here for you

I think you should follow your dreams.. don't change your major unless it makes you happy and you are going to be happy doing that job for the rest of your life.. Also don't make yourself go crazy about all the "what ifs" talk to your soldier about what you can and see what his take is on the questions you have because more than likely he probably has a bunch of questions too.. Good luck getting everything figured out I hope everything goes well!

I've been dealing with the military for 21 years while my dad was in the USMC. As a family, we had to give up ALOT. We moved constantly, left friends and family behind. The thing that made it easy was to keep in contact with those that were left behind. Another, military life really isn't that all difficult, it just takes a little adjustment and adaptation. Your 'what if' worries aren't stupid, we all have those and it's what you're feeling. You're not alone, though. There are friends, family and others to support you.<br />
One of these days, probably after my boyfriend would come back from his first tour to God knows where, we'll be getting married and I'll be asking the same thing, am I ready? Only you will know when the time comes, and I'm sure you will be, you are strong enough to know this is the man you will marry :)<br />
I hope this helped even a little,<br />
~Ashleigh