He Left This Morning...

I knew this day was coming, but as per with the army nothing is ever for certain. My guy's departure date got moved up so it cut his time short at home, shorter than anyone expected. He left this morning and ever since I've been feeling so absolutely horrible. I'm so scared about the future and not having him around.  I wish he was more available to talk to so I wouldn't feel like he's gone entirely... he still has a cellphone because he's training up to leave for Iraq, but he is training so he's busy. Its just so hard to adjust to the idea that I won't be able to touch him or call him when I want... its hard to imagine not seeing him next weekend or any day for a long time. I know I'm definitely not the only person to go through this, but I feel so alone in this struggle right now. I thought I had prepared myself for this day, but I guess I didn't do a good enough job. I feel so weak and unable to function. I don't want to feel like this but I don't know how to drag myself out of it. I want to be strong for him and be his support because I do support what he's doing and I'm so proud of him for what he does, I just feel so weak right now and I feel like I'm standing in his way. I just don't know how to deal with this... I feel like what I'm feeling is not normal and I'm doing something wrong.

jlee87 jlee87
22-25, F
4 Responses Mar 13, 2009

it's normal. there is NOTHING wrong with you, you're just human. it was a lot easier for me once he was able to call. the no communication thing was hardest for me. it will get better with time, i promise :) lots of hugs for you

There are stages to this deployment business, the beginning and the end are the worst, but just keep going day by day and know that you will find your own rhythm to get through this. It is perfectly normal and ok to break down some days, letting it all out helps you to be stronger on all the other days....you got this!!!

Beleive it or not, it is perfectly normal to feel like that.<BR>And honestly, sometimes its good to let yourself wallow in pity. Just know its not healthy to NOT pull yourself out of it after a while. Your ALLOWED to feel lost and not wanna do anything. <BR>So take your time, and adjust at your own speed. There really isnt anything you can do to REALLY prepare yourself for this. But try and keep busy and not think about it. <BR>I know its hard, I cried non<x>stop when he left, but keep your chin up, girl. We are here for you and your NOT ALONE!<BR>No matter what the army does, they cant keep the sun from rising and another day fom passing

nothing could fully prepare you for today....no matter what you do or how prepared you feel you are when that day comes you crumble. my fiance is only in ait right now but he has been gone since december 30th and i knew the day was coming i had been anticipating it for months i thought i was ready but i cried non stop that day. like you i couldnt picture not being in his arms when i went to sleep and not waking up to him smile every morning but he has to do what he has to do and be proud of him for it and know that your love is real and distance doesnt matter it will only bring you closer, take it one day at a tiime and remember that every day that goes by is one day closer until you will get to be in his arms again. <br />
stay strong you can do it!