Im the Only One!

Hey girls

So in my last story I talked about how I wanted to write about telling my very distant pulling away soldier how i was feeling. Well i did it and today I got a response.

He told me he's not coming back to US for leave and so he won't be back in US until next year and even then he doesnt think it would be a good idea to see each other. He said especially knowing what I told him, he thinks that Im longing for something he cant give me so he thinks its best not to see me.

I cant believe this, It hurts so much. I figured with knowing Im still here and waiting he would be so happy and feel like now we could still have something later. I feel like I am the only one who's guy is like so dead set against the idea of us. You all talk about how sometimes he pulls away or whatever, but nothing like this, and they all seem to come back. Not this guy! What is wrong with me? Or him? I dont know why this has to be so difficult. Sorry this is rambling and pretty pathetic, I cant stop crying and dont know what to do or say. I dont think I should talk to him anymore it is just too hard!

Thanks for all your support while i was going through it, I wish you all luck in your relationships, even though mine did not work out!

sallysimon sallysimon
6 Responses Mar 15, 2009

I think you should just stop talking to him and if he tries to talk to you...which if he loves you be prolly will, then maybe you guys can take it slowly. I am really sorry. I dont know how I would handle this if i was in your shoes. They dont know what we have to go thru waiting for them. its hard. but your strong and you can do it girl.

I know it hurts right now, but a little laughter never hurt anyone! <br><br />
Seriously though honey, I am SO sorry this is how he responded to you. On the upside at least you know now instead of pining away after him for the next 6 months to a year only to find out this is how he truly felt at the end if it. I really think there could be any number of things going on for him now, and any number of reasons why he doesn't share your feelings. They are not all about you, many of them are about him. There is nothing wrong with you at all, it just wasn't right. I honestly believe you should not write to him, or try to talk to him. If he contacts you hear him out, and decided how you feel about interacting with him then. But if you speak with him now it will only prolong the pain for you, and keep things confusing. You need time to heal these wounds before you even think about trying to be friends with him again.<br><br />
Good luck honey, keep your head up! =)

Let him go and if he comes back then it's ment to be... Or how ever that saying goes... Some times guys need their space... Mine went through a rough time here a little bit agao... I think I know what it's about but I can't be sure cuz he won't tell me wich in turn backs up what I'm thinking it's about... But he was all irritable and avoiding me and when I did get him on the phone he was all grr with me and so it wasn't worth the phone call really... But now he's back to norma except he has a secret from me (wich is totally unusual) that I don't get to know any thing about untill he chooses to tell me...<br />
<br />
But any way... Sorry about that :)... I would just back off a little though, make your self ignore him and what not and if he calls and you can answer then great, but if not all well no biggie bc he broke up with you right... Don't wright him as much, just like once a month asking if he's still alive and well... keep it light and friendly (a gentle reminder that you still care about him)... maybe he'll realize eventually that you're still there for him and he might or might not come back. and if not there are plenty of other guys out there that will realize what they have :)

Hi, I feel for you, how long have you two been together?<br />
that might shed some light on why he is not wanting to see you. Have you both been in a manogamous relationship? I would love to talk to you some more.<br />
aloha from Maui, Hawaii, you can read my story to.<br />

Honey... I am in the same boat and you're not alone... my story is... my soldier and I have broken up 3 times before he left, but he keeps coming back and saying he was wrong. Firstly he's a very confused about everything man right now, which he knows and I'm seeing this deployment as a good time for him to do some serious thinking and though its taken some time for me to realize its a good time for me to do some thinking too. I know exactly where you're coming from I've spent countless hours talking with him about this and each time its ended with a I just don't care about you the same anymore and it hurts so much to hear that and I cry and cry and beat myself up and ask what is so wrong with me that he has lost all his feeling for me. The way I'm approaching this now is to back off... I've spent a lot of time whining and complaining and badgering him about this relationship and telling him how much I care about him etc... but that's just making him more scared and making him pull away... its hard and I'm absolutely terrified to do it, but I'm letting him go to some degree... more like giving him space and not being so accessible... I'm not saying you should too, its your choice, but maybe he needs to realize just what he has and if he doesn't then he wasn't right for you and there are at least 10,000 other guys out there so much more worthy of being with you. Keep your chin up and if you need anything or someone to talk to I'm here for you. :) *hugs*

Bless, He sounds like a dickhead that just wanted an easy way out and used deployment to break up with you. But thats not because of you its because he doesn't have the nerves to face you. All the men go through different things. We could guess all day. Give him his space and let him do the chasing. If things are ment to work out they will if not there are plenty of men out there us women are lucky in that respect and you will find someone. The pain will fade and you will learn from this experince.x