I Don't Really Know How to Handle This

  1. I started dating my guy more than a year and a half ago, and just last month he got redeployment orders. He left this morning. I have done nothing but cry all day. I don't want to leave the apartment we share. I have heard from him a couple of times today,and that only makes me feel even worse. I can't comprehend why he had to go back. He's already done his time. I just only want him to come home. He may be gone for more than a year and I am taking this so hard. I just feel so betrayed. I want him home now! He doesn't deserve to be there. From what I've heard, the Army doesn't even know what they're doing with the soldiers they just redeployed and are just sending them around the country right now. I just want to curse out a recruiter or something. I feel like I need to do anything to just get him back to me. How am I supposed to do this?
hc50783 hc50783
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 15, 2009

......... i do NOT mean this in any way other than positive. thinking about how he should not be there and you should not be having to go through this awful time will not make you feel any better. unfortunately, for whatever reason, he is there and you are going thru this. you need to start trying to live with this; fighting it will not bring him back any faster or make you any happier. im so sorry you're having such a terrible time, but it will not get any better until you try. deployment is what you make it, you need to try to make it as easy and positive as you can :)

I feel even worse. He calls, I cry. He texts me, I cry. His mother calls me, I cry. I live with him. His stuff is everywhere. He worked by me and used to pick me up all the time. His family lives right under me. My family loves him. He's medically not supposed to be there. He filed for an exemption, and I know for an absolute fact they got it and they never answered it! He should not be there! I am not supposed to be going through this!!!

OK... you get a free pass to cry, scream and hide in the apartment ... BUT this pass ONLY last for the 1st two days. Please ... I didn't leave our apartment for the 1st THREE WEEKS, when mine went back to Iraq. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO HANDLE IT!!! <br />
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Mine is back now. And I know the fears, thoughts and feelings that went with deployment. I was actually scared to leave our apartment. He is my safe feeling and my safe feeling left when he left. But I learned that I couldn't hide in our apartment. I learned that I had to keep living ... for him too.... not just for me. <br />
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You're going to learn your strength. You might not even see it totally, like others will, but you can NOT stay hiding in your apartment. Trust me, it doesn't help!!!<br />
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Chin up Strong Girl!!!

I'm sorry honey, this is a rough road for all of us to walk. Some days all you can do is cry and get mad and angry, get it all out on those days so that you can move forward in a better space the next day. The first month is tough, so is the last. In-between isn't exactly easy, but you will develop a pattern, a rhythm that will help you make it through. Deployments definitely test our love, and our strength, but in the end him coming home will make it all worth it!!<br><br />
Keep your head up honey, you can do this!

unfortunately, it ALL comes with the territory. PLEASE get out of your apartment and do something fun every day, it will help a lot. it takes about a month to adjust to long-term deployments, given no one is the same. i promise, with time, it does get better. you will have good days and bad days. but you need to remember getting mad will not bring him back any faster- so try to be optimistic. heheheh, if only it were so easy. try to remember, you are living your lives together, but physically apart. take your time to cry and be upset, but try to do as much outside your home as you can. it will be better later.