Leah & Bobby

Hey,

I feel kind of weird doing this, but I thought it might be good to hear some advice and share stories from other Army girlfriends.  I have been dating my boyfriend Bobby for about 9 months now.  We started dating in June '08 and he deployed in September '08.  Yeah, it was rough because number one, all deployments are rough, and number two, we had only been dating for 3 months when he deployed so we lacked a strong foundation that is simply built over time.  The first couple of months were extremely hard, and also because I was dealing with other stuff, like deciding which school to transfer to, what to major in, etc.  He was able to get leave (thank goodness!) the first 2 weeks of February (just last month).  I guess I have adjusted and found a "routine" of sorts, because this time around, after he left again when his leave was up, has been much easier for me.  I'm more emotionally stable and it just doesn't seem as hard as the months before his leave.  Not saying it hasn't been hard, but it's just different, and I'm so thankful for that.  God has certainly given me a peace about it.  Also, I'm in the minority of Army girlfriends for a certain reason.  Bobby cannot tell me hardly anything about what he does.  His emails, chat, phone conversations are monitored.  Very high security where he is.  I have to be pretty careful about what I say over the phone.  I have a vague idea of what he does, but until he gets back, I cannot ask questions and he cannot tell me much of anything.  That is one of the hardest parts, at times. 

 

deleted deleted
26-30
5 Responses Mar 20, 2009

Ha, welcome to the minority!!<br />
My boyfriend is in a SF group and he's legally bound to keep all information a secret for like...20 years, or something like that. I dont even get to know where he goes when he deploys or for how long. They even keep WHEN he deploys a secret until the day of.<br />
Its hard...I dont know what im gonna do when he gets home and cant talk about what he saw or did (=biggest fear. PTSD and not being able to help him...tho i guess thats kinda the case with most PTSD) <br />
but the bottom line is that i know how frustrating it is.<br />
And if you need to talk, im here :]

Oh hunny...none of us can know what our men do...It sucks!!! But we will all get trhough this and make it through! Thank you for sharin your story!<br />
I am not really a army girlfriend anymore we got married! And I love him more then anything in the whole world!!! We are also pregnant! I found out after he left I am terrified! He is going to try and be home for the birth of our first child but we dont know if it will work! But we are makin it through!<br />
<br />
Stay Strong Hunny!

Hi Leah my name is also Leah!<br />
I have an marine boyfriend that I have not seen since Nov/08 I know how you are feeling. This might help you imagine if you were able to see each other every day every night, you might end up in a boring routine, even though its hard, there is the excitement of knowing you will finally see each other, or get to talk, it makes for a stronger relationship and it might just last a lifetime!<br />
Leah

Oh hunny...none of us can know what our men do...It sucks!!! But we will all get trhough this and make it through! Thank you for sharin your story!<br />
I am not really a army girlfriend anymore we got married! And I love him more then anything in the whole world!!! We are also pregnant! I found out after he left I am terrified! He is going to try and be home for the birth of our first child but we dont know if it will work! But we are makin it through!<br />
<br />
Stay Strong Hunny!

I understand the not knowing what he is doing. My boyfriend is in military intelligence, so he cannot tell me anything either. It really is hard to have conversations sometimes, but it gets easier. Just to know that he is ok and doing good is the main part. It gets easier with time, I know that is not really awesome advice, but its all i have too. I wait for his calls every night and get sad when we hang up, but you just have to go on with your day and tell yourself you will be ok and he loves you. No matter what, that is what gets me through this all. We are all here for you, just hang in there!